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Making it big in Hollywood is one of the foundational aspects of the American Dream. Even if you don’t follow celebrity gossip, or want to be on a reality TV show, or write spec pilots in your spare time, there’s probably a little bit of this pixie dust in your soup. With the exception of sociopaths, cat people, and agoraphobics, most Americans harbor some small variation on being recognized for one’s inherent beauty/talent/appeal/cocaine and being instantaneously elevated to the role of More Special Person Than Regular People, living in some Vinnie Chase hillside mansion knocking golf balls into backyards from the infinity pool. (Sidenote: this is a relevant question since the Entourage movie DOES have a green light, so remember how Vinnie and the gang were always knocking golf balls into backyards? From the infinity pool at his hillside mansion? That was dangerous, right? You can’t just do that? I mean I know the gang can do whatever it wants because it’s THE GANG but please be careful, guys. People live up here!) All of this preamble is simply to point out that we all share some slice of this dream pie (however small a slice or however thickly the slice is covered in a cream made out of the recognition that the myth of Hollywood fame and glamour is toxic and based on a dangerously flawed value system) but that probably a lot of us have put those dreams aside for more realistic pursuits of a happy and fulfilling life. As we enter adulthood (those of us who have, I know many of us are still 12 year old girls writing “Mr. Selena Gomez” on our jeans) we realize that those fantasies aren’t even all they’re cracked up to be, probably, and it’s time that we focus on the things that we truly care about and spend time with friends and family, and make the most out of the life we were given. WELL GRAB YOUR GO BAG AND KISS THEM GOODBYE, GRANDPA, BECAUSE IT IS TIME TO DIG THOSE DREAMS BACK OUT OF THE REALITY CLOSET. NOW IS OUR BIG CHANCE! KATHERINE CHLOE CAHOON NEEDS OUR HELP TO WRITE HER SCREENPLAY, WHICH I AM SURE IS REAL, AND NOW WE’RE ALL GONNA BE HOLLYWOOD HOTSHOTS. TOGETHER!
This video seems pretty legit, for sure. Katherine Chloe Cahoon is adapting her self-published book about fucking Australian tourists at Oktoberfest into a feature film? But the producers are fighting over “which types of girls to include”? And the only people who can settle this dispute are strangers on the Internet? So in order to get the word out, Katherine traveled to Cabo and shot a video on the beach in which there are four separate camera angles but she only ever looks straight ahead? Yes, no, yeah, for sure, I’ve heard of this. This is how MARTY SCORECESO got his start. We are gonna be so rich and successful! HOLLYWOOD, HERE WE COME AND/OR ALREADY ARE! (Thanks for the tip, Chris.)
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2 legit, 2 legit to quit
If you think Ralph`s story is something,, four weaks-ago my cousins best friend worked and got paid $5535 workin fourty hours a month from their apartment and the’re classmate’s step-sister`s neighbour did this for 4 months and recieved a check for more than $5535 parttime from their pc. use the guidelines on this link…………… http://qr.net/kgsC
You guys, this is what we’ve been training for in all of thse “Who should play X in Y” posts!
Jeremy Renner IS Beach Bro #34
+1
I know I have said this before, but isn’t trying to meet European men how the plot to Taken starts out? Has she not seen that movie? Did SHE write that movie?!
I’d like to see Tak3n with KCC.
KCC: “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you.”
Fast forward 1 week and KCC’s daughter is back home.
Cut to shot of kidnapper sighing and looking longingly at a photo of KCC and kidnapper hanging out in Paris.
Tak3n: 500 Days of Katherine: Rome Drift
Some cat people might be working on a novel and might imagine a day when the members of One Direction and Jude Law act it its adaptation on the big screen. Impossible to say which cat people. Probably not this particular cat person. Probably.
I’m pretty sure she’d have more success if her movie was just a minute-by-minute reenactment of the time she did a videogum tinychat, even if I wasn’t there for it.
Wow I was worried my favourite author/screenwriter/choreographer/videographer had gone away but I think it’s safe to say 2013 is the Year Of The Katherine Chloe Cahoon’s Single Women’s Guide To Meeting European Men: The Movie!
If her music video is any indication, this movie will feature lots of choreographed dancing in restaurants and lounging on pianos. Can’t wait!
I would really love to watch Katherine Chloe Cahoon watch Spring Breakers. I would just LOVE to hear what she has to say about it.
“The girls didn’t meet enough hot foreign guys on Spring Break, what a waste of time” – Katherine Chloe Cahoon on Spring Breakers.
After multiple posts on KCC, not only do I not get who she is, I also have only a vague idea about how we the VG community are supposed to feel about her. Someone please tell me so I can fit in.
I’m pretty sure no one truly understands the mystery that is KCC.
Sorry, I’m in the same boat. I say we entertain ourselves with this instead.
I like her. She contributed to the Monster Cookbook and she did a video chat with my favorite person, Chris Trash, for the MOBFD Bookgum.
Counterpoint:
I absolutely love the idea that a studio executive had very strong feelings about a character in her book, which later changed dramatically based on his own life’s events. Because studio executives take her projects very personally and are in no way thinking of how to make it turn a profit.
“I don’t know if I want to bring my children up in a world where women enjoy having sex” -Studio executives everywhere.
That part of her story rang true to me. As a person who once played the “I will write movies” game, I found that people are 100% capable of giving you a whole mess of notes only to give you contradictory notes two months later, explicitly based on stuff in their personal life. The very last conversation I had with a Hollywood “Exec” about one of my scripts was this, verbatim:
HER: The main character would never abandon her family. It needs to be changed.
ME: Uh, that is the main event in the movie, so let me ask why you’re saying this. Is it because you don’t believe she would do that — in which case we definitely need a rewrite of some kind! — or because you would never do that?
HER: Me. I could never do that.
ME: But this isn’t a script about you.
The end. You can rent the resulting movie nowhere!
I like the producer who wanted to know if one of the characters in the book was single. It’s a shame he married someone else, and we’ll never know whether he’d have hit it off with a fictional sexcapader.
Well that would have at least had that in common.
Definitely not a cat person, but not sure whether my sociopathy trumps my agoraphobia or the other way around.