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February 9, 2010

The Jay Leno Show Series Finale Drinking Game

It's hard to believe that it's already here, but tonight is the final broadcast of The Jay Leno Show. Hold on, let me just wipe these tears from my eyes. (Tears are exactly the same things as barf, right?) Anyway, what a wild roller-coaster it has been. So many downs and downs! Of course, there is one good thing to come out of all this, and that is that Jay Leno's true face has been unmasked and revealed to the world. It turns out that he is less of an awe-shucks-everyman who just loves to laugh, and more of a backstabbing-nightmare-with-an-airplane-hangar-full-of-cars who hates to relinquish his mediocre grip on entertainment. Remember when he told Oprah that it would have been selfish to retire? The guy just gets it! Oh, he also said something to the effect of: "You should never quit when you are ahead, you should only quit when you begin failing." O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN! I'm sorry, is Jay Leno the host of a talk show, or is he the coach of the Dillon Panthers?

Anyway, since all of America (practically none of America whatsoever) will be tuning in to tonight's emotional show (look out Super Bowl viewership record!), here is a fun (read: dangerous) drinking game to play at home:

Continue reading The Jay Leno Show Series Finale Drinking Game...

Posted by Gabe at 5:45 PM in ,
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Comments (24) latest by thecloudking

Beaker Meeps "Dust In The Wind" Like A Gay Retard

thumbnail: Beaker Meeps "Dust In The Wind" Like A Gay Retard

There are a number of famous stories about people submitting beloved manuscripts of classic works to publishers and then touting the inevitable rejection letters as proof that the publishing system is broken and blind and cliqueish. Now, I'm not sure how much meaning you can really draw from all of that. Things happen, and the cream eventually rises to the top, but maybe the cream gets some automated rejection letters from an overworked intern every once in awhile. And lord knows, there are enough books published every year, isn't that true, Kate Gosselin? What I do think those stories suggest, though, is a general concern that the world is losing sight of what is even good anymore, and that is a concern I think some of us here may share. And it is only going to get worse as more and more half-literate 14-year-olds consider themselves the Gatekeepers of quality via Anonymous Internet Comments.

What I'm trying to say is: why can't the Internet let Beaker be great?

Continue reading Beaker Meeps "Dust In The Wind" Like A Gay Retard...

Posted by Gabe at 5:00 PM in
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Comments (20) latest by itsahotdog!

Go See Joe Mande And Hannibal Buress Tonight, Why Not? Hey, if you live in New York City, why not go see Videogum's own Joe Mande and Saturday Night Live's Hannibal Buress perform stand up comedy? They are both American Treasures. Do you think you are too good for American Treasures? Because you are not. Tickets here.

Comments (10) latest by Spice Weasel

Kirstie Alley Is Almost As Busy As She Is Fat, Says Kirstie Alley

Oh man, this is THE BEST. I love that this trailer opens with Kirstie Alley rubbing her lip and then smearing frosting on the glass. Her body is just made of frosting now? I thought so, but I did not have the proof! I also love that she thinks this show is called Big Life because of how busy she is with projects. Right! You got it, Kirstie Alley!

Obviously, there are lots of great things to laugh at and have a good time with about this trailer, like that whole section where Kirstie Alley loudly and proudly talks about how she doesn't want to just be loud and proud. (Uh oh, I think a loud and proud imposter has been writing her Twitter feed! Twitter, check that authorized feed!) Although the part when Kirstie Alley's son says that she doesn't sugar coat anything is just mean, because some lies reveal the painful truth. (Kirstie Alley sugar coats EVERYTHING.)

Continue reading Kirstie Alley Is Almost As Busy As She Is Fat, Says Kirstie Alley...

Posted by Gabe at 3:30 PM in
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Comments (52) latest by petepetepete

The Nevershanding Story Tim Heidecker invented a Best New Party Game in which Gary Shandling is inserted into movie posters, and as is the rule with Best New Party Games, it is great and hilarious.

Comments (19) latest by Burdette

MTV Needs A New Tagline, Team!

MTV announced this week that it was officially dropping the "Music Television" tagline from its logo. Fair enough. It has been so long since that network actually aired music videos that there aren't even any good jokes to make about it. "I'm pretty sure the last time they showed a music video on MTV it was the Cave Boys video for "We Started The Fire."" See what I mean? Awful! The new logo is pictured above, and as you can tell, it definitely doesn't say "Music Television" anymore. But, what, are you really just going to have a logo with no tagline?! Let's get these guys a new tagline! How about:

"Remember Room Raiders? That Was Us Television"

or

"Birthplace of Carson Daly"

or

"The M Stands For Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino"

Feel free to suggest your own, but make sure that they are at least as clever and roll off the tongue as well as the examples above. Let's not waste time with this if we're not going to give it 100%.

Posted by Gabe at 2:00 PM in
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Comments (96) latest by Catocalypse_now

A Videogum Poll: Who Is Secretly A Big Jerk?

thumbnail: A Videogum Poll: Who Is Secretly A Big Jerk?

I saw a picture of Audrey Tatou this morning because she's in a new music video or something, and for a second I wondered if secretly she is a jerk. I'm not saying that Audrey Tatou is a jerk, I'm just saying WHAT IF she is a jerk? She could be a jerk! Who knows! The only reason this is even interesting, of course, is because obviously Audrey Tatou's entire career is built on the perception of her as a Gentle Fairy Waif from Planet Sweetheart, or whatever. But what if THE OPPOSITE WERE TRUE? (Fact: most things that are interesting or curious are just opposites of something else.)

Well, naturally that got me thinking about all kinds of people who seem pretty nice but could secretly be jerks for all we know. Since we don't really have any evidence to go on, this is all purely speculative, but the march of progress cannot be stopped, and as they always say, science will have its pound of flesh (huh?) so after the jump, a super meaningful and irrefutable poll of who we think is secretly a big jerk based on absolutely nothing whatsoever. I guess something about their face, maybe?

Continue reading A Videogum Poll: Who Is Secretly A Big Jerk?...

Posted by Gabe at 12:45 PM in
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Comments (140) latest by batteredgnome

Jorge Garcia Getting His Hair Braided Into Corn Rows, Obviously

And people said that Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse wouldn't tie up all the loose ends! WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE I HATE MYSELF!

Seriously, though, Lost is going to be bonkers tonight no duh. (Via JorgeGarcia.livejournal.com.)

Posted by Gabe at 11:45 AM in
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Comments (24) latest by Mr. Hausfrau

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