Happy Birthday, The United States

This is your national anthem.

Have a great long weekend, you guys. See you Monday! (Video never forgotten via MarkLisanti.)

Posted by Gabe at 4:30 PM in Yay!
Tags: Holidaze

Comments (21) latest by philplusbert

Russia's Got Talent • It's basically like if Susan Boyle had better clothes, better back-up music, better dance moves, better karate kicks, and a better arrow through her fucking face.

Comments (8) latest by Zayin_451

Holy Shit, You Guys, Let's All Agree To Never Get Parkinson's

Yikes! That looks terrible. I don't want to live like that. Do you? Some private Ed-Norton-in-that-one-office-scene-in-Fight-Club nightmare, and it's not even some quietly triumphant anti-authoritarian "fuck you" to the boss you hated, it's just you being old and wanting to get the phone. And expensive! I didn't realize that you broke coffee tables every time the phone rang when you suffered from Parkinson's when your evil doppelganger clotheslined you to the ground! I probably just wouldn't have a coffee table. Or drink tea. I'm making light of a very serious situation because it's the only way I know how to deal with the very real human suffering that exists around us on a daily basis!

No, this won't do. Let's all agree not to get this thing. Let's shake on it. Good. Phew. (Via AdFreak.)

Posted by Gabe at 3:00 PM in PSAs
Tags: Health | Parkinson's

Comments (16) latest by zik

Exclusive First Look At A Scene From Asteroids: The Videogame: The Movie

They're making a movie adaptation of the classic Atari videogame Asteroids? I don't even have the energy or heart to look up how many "what, was Pong already taken" jokes have been made in the on-line blogopolis today, because I'm too busy ughing to death. I'll just have to trust that it was a lot. Details on this really smart and completely surprising and uncharacteristic move on Hollywood's part:

Universal has won a four-studio bidding war to pick up the film rights to the classic Atari video game "Asteroids." Matthew Lopez will write the script for the feature adaptation, which will be produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura.

As opposed to today's games, there is no story line or fancy world-building mythology, so the studio would be creating a plot from scratch. Universal, however, is used to that development process, as it's in the middle of doing just that for several of the Hasbro board game properties it is translating to the big screen, such as "Battleship" and "Candyland."

Um...FOUR STUDIO BIDDING WAR?

Dear Earthquake That Is Supposed To Plunge California Into The Ocean,

Where are you?

Love,
My Eyes.

Of course, the producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura is also behind what will undoubtedly be this summer's most interesting and well-made movie (perhaps of all time? Too early to tell) G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. And nothing suggests that a movie will be great like comparing it to other really brilliant, super respectable seeming projects like Battleship and Candyland.

Whatever. I'm not the President of Entertainment (yet). It's not my millions of dollars and industry-wide sense of integrity and self-respect at stake. An exclusive look at a scene from the upcoming Asteroids: The Videogame: The Movie after the jump.

Continue reading Exclusive First Look At A Scene From Asteroids: The Videogame: The Movie...

Posted by Gabe at 2:00 PM in Bad Idea Jeans
Tags: Asteroids | Movie Adaptations

Comments (28) latest by Zayin_451

Hey, Cut It Out You Litter Louts!

There are a bunch of litter louts terrorizing England. Cut it out! Describes Arborath:

A neighbourhood group in Leicester is so annoyed with people dropping litter that it is filming the offenders and posting the videos online. So far 18 clips have been uploaded and anyone who can recognise the culprits is being asked to contact the group.

These guys are worse than the cavity creeps! SHADOWHARE, WHERE ARE YOU?

Incidentally, today's featured Litter Lout, Litter Lout #15, should probably be arrested a number of charges, including dance, tie, and hair*.

*Ed. Note: This story isn't really that interesting, but I wanted to be able to make jokes about Litter Louts in the future, because LITTER LOUTS!, and this way you will get what I am talking about.

Posted by Gabe at 1:00 PM in Caught On Tape, Justice
Tags: England | Litter Louts

Comments (12) latest by caractacus

The Megan Fox Soundboard • Looks like someone was the keynote speaker at the That's What She Said Conference.

Comments (1) latest by Ugah

VH1 Is Like The MC Escher Poster Of Reality TV

Think about it! It's an endless cycle of deeper and deeper self-reflexive loops, and it's in every dorm room! ZING OF LOVE!

Anyway, after the jump, a trailer for the upcoming Of Love spin-off series Megan Wants a Millionaire, which I believe was originally called Trophy Wife (seriously), but probably got the name change whenever VH1 stopped handing out business cards that said The Classiest Channel Of Dignity And Respect. Anyway, I'm actually surprised that it's taken this long for Megan Hauserman to get her own show. She dominated Rock of Love season 2 and she dominated I Love Money season 1. But it's important to remember that Megan Hauserman wasn't in Public Enemy. Or Poison. Megan Hauserman's claim to fame is as a contestant on VH1 shows.

And that's where things are really starting to get complicated.

Continue reading VH1 Is Like The MC Escher Poster Of Reality TV...

Posted by Gabe at 11:45 AM in Reality TV
Tags: I Love Money | Megan Hauserman | Megan Wants A Millionaire | Rock Of Love

Comments (22) latest by woodbee

50 Cent Is Definitely An Over The Hill Clown

Do you guys remember that neat short-film that was actually a promotion for Phillips TVs? It was a camera fluidly moving through a complicated 3D freeze-frame of a cartoonish high-action bank robbery-in-progress with a twist at the end, intended to be played in a loop, and it was visually stunning and basically art and also pretty sinister, all of which made it a particularly "brave" piece of non-contextual marketing? Well throw all of that out into the garbage, because now it's just the jumping off point for a terrible new 50 Cent video. Congratulations, smart, interesting director who made the original. YA BURNT.

Continue reading 50 Cent Is Definitely An Over The Hill Clown...

Posted by Gabe at 10:45 AM in Free Advertising, Music Related Content
Tags: 50 Cent

Comments (14) latest by anonymous