filtow
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I always thought Jeff Goldblum was just doing a mildly-retarded Diane Sawyer impression.
on Diane Sawyer Does A Drunk Jeff Goldblum Impression at January 22, 2009 12:30 PMScore = 3
Instead of asking WHAT is in the sandwich, we need to figure out WHEN is the sandwich? And the answer is never because, gross Cheech. You really need to go back to Sandwich School, because that sandwich makes no sense.
on Lost: What's In The Sandwich?! at January 22, 2009 12:16 PMScore = 14
My heart just had an orgasm. And by orgasm I mean attack. I'm having a heart attack right now. What's the e-mail address for 911?
on There's A New Baby Elephant In The World at November 25, 2008 10:17 AMScore = 0
This is why God invented scissors. So you can stab your eyes out to avoid watching nightmare sadness like this. Scissors work in eardrums too, right?
on Twilight Fans, This Is Your Future at November 18, 2008 2:00 PMScore = 0
The first rule of old people rapping is to make sure their diapers have been changed. You have no idea how gross a choir full of incontinent rappers can be. Unless you've ever seen the Black Eyed Peas perform.
on Old People Captured, Forced To Sing Rap Music at November 14, 2008 4:16 PMScore = 0
I find that the best Myplace comments always end with: *sound of gun loading*.
on Let's Be Realistic, You're Not Going To Be In The New Judd Apatow Movie at November 14, 2008 3:56 PMScore = 0
I thought Sandra Bernhard died on 9/11. Who's idea was it to resurrect her?
on Get Ready To Hate This Gap Ad For Six Agonizing Weeks at November 14, 2008 3:47 PMScore = -1
Well crying is free, so I've been spending most of my time gently sobbing alone, in the darkness. I would recommend the same thing for movie stars, but their tears are too precious to waste.
on This Recession Shit Just Got Real at November 14, 2008 3:44 PMScore = 1
Quick warning, ladies. I know a certain Turkish mayor who will not hesitate to sue you if you name your vagina Batman.
on Do You Ever Get That Not-So-Fresh...Beaver? at November 12, 2008 2:26 PMScore = 5
Of course they only tell you about the times that people get hurt. I’ve been giving myself alcoholonics for the past five years and haven’t noticed any health problems. Although I am wasted all of the time, so I don’t really notice things like “heart failures” or “anal bleeding”.
on The Doctors Explore The "Trend" Of Vodka Tampons at November 11, 2008 5:17 PMScore = 0
Crabsolutely not.
Permalink for what's comment on Welcome To Batman City, Population These Guys at November 10, 2008 12:05 PMScore = 0