Dave

As Jennifer Aniston's lover (shutup, I'm an anonymous person on the interwebs-you can't disprove it), I can personally say that I did not recognize her. That butt, however, I recognized from every minivan in the country; it's a soccer-mom butt.

on What Is Happening To Everyone's Face? at April 17, 2009 5:09 PM
Score = 4

Shutup, Kelso!

on The Revolution Will Not Be Twittered By Ashton Kutcher at April 17, 2009 10:43 AM
Score = 13

Tim and Eric- So good.
Jimmy Fallon- Get off my internets.

on Tim And Eric Awesome Interview On Jimmy Fallon, Great Job! at April 15, 2009 11:54 AM
Score = 6

Do you remember when I said that the Harry Potter fans would burn down this website? Huh? DO YOU? I warned you, Gabe, and you chose to ignore me. Your internets will suffer.

on Hogwarts School Of Bitchcraft And Jockery at March 26, 2009 3:55 PM
Score = 9

You said "noose", therefore this article is racist.

More importantly, I wonder if they had auditions for it. There could be somebody walking around right now kicking themselves for not bringing their game face to the Bill Cosby Porno tryouts. Game face, bro!

on NSFW: That's Right, A Porno Based On The Cosby Show at March 26, 2009 2:32 PM
Score = 3

Party on Gabe.

on NSFW: This Phone Sex Prank Call Gets Real Neil Hamburger at March 24, 2009 4:21 PM
Score = 1

Is it possible to submit a trailer to the Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time?

on Sorority Row: They Did A Bad, Bad, Thing at March 19, 2009 8:10 PM
Score = 4

There aren't nearly enough bullets

on M/F/K: The Real Housewives Of New Jersey at March 18, 2009 11:39 AM
Score = 2

Let's play a drinking game with this show! Every time it's on, smash me in the face with a beer bottle until I lose consciousness.

on VH1's Tough Love Has An Important Message: Fuck Women at March 3, 2009 1:50 PM
Score = 39

Everyone on The Hills is the monster.

on Lauren Conrad Is Leaving The Hills Or: "Too Little, Too Latte" at February 25, 2009 5:55 PM
Score = 2