Oh look, your boyfriend, who you date and make love to by candlelight and LARP with every weekend upstate, made you a bologna sandwich: "I'm sorry, dear, but I've held my tongue long enough. I…   Read Story »

Featuring Kellan Lutz (Twilight) and Mechad Brooks (True Blood), for anyone who wants to be half-vampire half-A**HOLE: Gross, Eggs. Gross, Emmett Cullen. Gross, other dudes. Gross, anyone who…   Read Story »

I hate this so much. Congratulations to Bob Dylan on the very cool shout out. He’s so famous he probably has one of these right in his own home. Lucky! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to…   Read Story »

"Imma Be Rockin That Body" video, you guys: Really, Black Eyed Peas? You feel that you have earned the 10-minute music video? This is your "November Rain"? Fair enough, this is probably your…   Read Story »

It's one thing to order this. Like, OK, you ordered it. You called the number and you recorded your personalized greeting ("I have no idea how to express my emotions, buy meaningful gifts, or…   Read Story »

Nothing says I'm a piece of shit who can't deal with even the most mundane of day-to-day adult responsibility like a pair of jeans that are secretly fucking pajamas. God damn it, these pants make me…   Read Story »

One of the coolest things** about the Sundance Film Festival is the celebrities! gifting suites! Excuse me, gifting chalets! MY APOLOGIES. The gifting chalets, of course, are where different…   Read Story »

As Benjamin Franklin famously said, "the only things certain in life are death and taxes and porn parodies of popular movies/sitcoms." And then he invented lightning with a kite! The point is, at…   Read Story »

Seth MacFarlane might be getting a FOURTH primetime animated series on FOX? D'oh. (Get it? You get it.)   Read Story »

One of the neatest things about your boyfriend is how he is so full of ideas. Like one time he made you a birthday card covered in razor blades, and you had to go to the hospital, but no one had ever…   Read Story »