It's hard out there for a shrimp. Gotta get on that hustle, get on that grind. Ain't no nostalgia in this shit right here. Hold on, I totally want to enter into a dangerous life of crime, but do you…   Read Story »

The story isn't so bad either. From Deadspin: The man who attempted (and failed) to throw a hot dog at Tiger Woods at the Frys.com Open last weekend has been identified. He is Brandon Kelly, a…   Read Story »

Drive, you guys. So good! OR WAS IT?! No, it was. But a woman in Michigan (the Florida of the North) is suing the film's marketing company for false advertising. Sounds pretty airtight, your honor.…   Read Story »

The man who tried to rob a 7-11 in a Gumby costume has finally decided he's getting too old (19) for this life of crime and that he wants to try going straight for a change. One last heist, if you…   Read Story »

"We've all heard of Snakes on a Plane but what about snakes in your pants? And this was no movie." IS THERE A NOBEL PRIZE FOR NEWS?! "There's a great joke in there, but this is a family…   Read Story »

What? Oh, I'm sorry, is 911 not for EMERGENCIES anymore?   Read Story »

"As I've gotten older and had more life experience, I've come to really appreciate older women. They have a sophistication and an elegance that younger women simply lack. It's not younger women's…   Read Story »