Desperately trying to move our ridiculous baby bodies to a point where the necklace that is the weekend is within reach. Don't give up, guys! I know it seems impossible, but we're almost there!…   Read Story »

If I can make a generalization about humans, I think we all like to be remembered in a positive light. It is better to be thought of as that charming person you wished you could've talked to for a…   Read Story »

Some days everything just seems to work out somehow. You get home right in time to catch the UPS guy as he's leaving you a final notice, or you really want an iced coffee and then find two dollars in…   Read Story »

Let's take a brief moment to gasp in wonder at the overwhelming enormity and impossible beauty of the universe. NOW BACK TO THE BUTTS AND FARTS! (Via Neatorama.)   Read Story »

Dear Women, Please don't take offense to what I'm about to say. As a women myself, I understand the desire to not have any interests, goals, or hobbies. Once you have a man in your life there's…   Read Story »

It's important to remember sometimes that even though life is consistently difficult in varying degrees, it can also be -- if you let it -- a casual slide. It's all in the way you see it. The Casual…   Read Story »

It's not very often that anything is nice in this world (this world meaning first the Internet and then second the actual world) (doy). For example, I don't mean to harp on this, but I think I have…   Read Story »

You're not gonna see any sympathy coming from me, possibly German guy carrying a million mugs of beer. Nah uh. You know I love you so much and that I'd never want to see anything bad to happen to…   Read Story »

Much of life is spent in a frustrating and futile attempt to exercise some kind of control over this cruel and disinterested world of pain and absurdity. We buy things, we make plans, we chase…   Read Story »

Oof. This video breaks my heart. Remember, you guys, it's important to start things when they are supposed to be started. If you start them too early or too late there's a very good chance that you…   Read Story »