1. Ask yourself: What did you do with your can opener? Did you take it out of your house? You must have taken it out of your house if you're POSITIVE that you can't find it in there. Why did you take…   Read Story »

A few guesses: This isn't your apartment -- you're apartment sitting for your significant other's ex. You're a photographer and needed to do a photo shoot in a ball pit? Roommate's on your…   Read Story »

You go outside, grab a bunch of dirt, and put it on a plate inside. Then you dip your votive candle in wax and roll it around in the dir-- What? Oh, please. You've never had a situation that called…   Read Story »

1. Either drive or walk to the nearest grocery store. 2. When entering the grocery store hesitate for a moment -- should you get a big shopping cart or just one of the little ones that you carry?…   Read Story »

Sometimes people are going to lie to you. They're going to tell you that you look fine, when really you look not so good and should change your clothes and take off some of your makeup. They're going…   Read Story »

As summer comes to an end it's hard not to dwell on the summer-exclusive things that you never actually got around to doing. Maybe, for basically the second year in a row, you never actually went to…   Read Story »

1. Get yourself summer ready. There's no use having a summer-ready weather balloon if you're not going to be ready to go outside in the sun and fill it up with exhaust from your chainsaw or whatever,…   Read Story »

So here's a question. What do you do when you need money? Well, ok, let me maybe explain the scenario a little further. So, you have no money. Ok? And you want to buy things like gas and a necklace…   Read Story »

Oh, sure, the Internet is full of makeup tutorials. In a moment you can learn how to put on Fancy eyeshadow or Movie-Star lipstick or whatever you want, and then in the next moment you can learn how…   Read Story »

1. Remember that today, Tuesday, April 17th is "tax day" in the United States. 2. Try to remember where you were when you saw that Superman bodysuit for sale. You should have just bought it then,…   Read Story »