But, like, the puppets are probably fucking you to death repeatedly in those knife-dick suits from the movie Seven. You can't see that part in this video. I mean, it is hell. But even without the…   Read Story »

After the first few days of this you start to think, OK, hell isn't THAT bad. Sure, it's annoying and absurd, but at least there aren't any red hot pokers up my butt or whatever. The first year…   Read Story »

Osama Bin Laden felt heat all over his body, but especially on his face, as he approached the gates of hell. He had a youthful body, not crippled by disease or riddled with bullet holes like the body…   Read Story »

Hahaha. Wait a second. I thought that the whole point of the afterlife is that we are going to be personally judged for our actions on Earth up/down THERE, so we need to pray and be nice to ugly…   Read Story »

If there is one thing that I learned in my high school law class*, it is that there is no statute of limitations on KILLING IT with an awesome classic rock theme song for Event Horizon. That movie…   Read Story »