This Makes Me Barf So, So Much (No Slomo)

"Hello, hospital? Send an ambulance, please. And a bucket. Also, do you know how to fix eyes that have been clawed out with fingers? What's that? No, they were my fingers. I'm assuming I have the eyes somewhere, I... CONTINUE READING THIS MAKES ME BARF SO, SO MUCH (NO SLOMO)»

Posted on November 18, 2009 in Oh, Yuck! (30 comments)
Tags: Dreadlocks | No Slomo | Not OK | Yuck

Every Marilyn Manson Hurts

NSFW "Running to the Edge of the World" video, you guys: Yuck. This video is terrible! It's like it was created by a focus group tasked with determining what anti-social 15-year-olds from broken homes who like 50-year-old men and nightmares... CONTINUE READING EVERY MARILYN MANSON HURTS»

Posted on November 6, 2009 in Music Related Content (38 comments)
Tags: Assholes | Marilyn Manson | Misogyny | Yuck

If You Only Watch One Video About Razor Scooters Today

First of all, let's clear a few things up: 1. There is no new adrenaline sport on the horizon. 2. It was Stadius who said "it was fear that first made Gods in the world," your boyfriend thought right!... CONTINUE READING IF YOU ONLY WATCH ONE VIDEO ABOUT RAZOR SCOOTERS TODAY»

Posted on November 5, 2009 in Sports (60 comments)
Tags: Kids | Razor Scooterz | Yuck

Robert Pattinson Underwear, Ladies (You're Gross, Ladies)

"I'm a 37-year-old woman, and I work in marketing for a small research firm. I used to live with my long-term boyfriend, and I really thought he was 'the one,' you know, but it just didn't work out. I'm OK!... CONTINUE READING ROBERT PATTINSON UNDERWEAR, LADIES (YOU'RE GROSS, LADIES)»

Posted on October 29, 2009 in Dream Merch (67 comments)
Tags: Robert Pattinson | Twilight | Underwear | Vampires | Yuck

Where Is 2012 When You Need It?

Jon Gosselin and the Octo-Mom are going to go on a reality TV "date"? DON'T BOTHER RINGING THAT BELL, TIBETAN MONK, WE ARE DONE HERE.... CONTINUE READING WHERE IS 2012 WHEN YOU NEED IT?»

Posted on October 28, 2009 in Reality TV (25 comments)
Tags: Apocalypse | Jon And Kate Plus 8 | Jon Gosselin | Octomom | Yuck

George Lopez Is A Pee-Pee Head

As you know, George Lopez is getting his own 10PM talk show on TBS this fall, because apparently 2009 is the year that TV finally tries to kill 10PM once and for all. Between this and The Jay Leno Show,... CONTINUE READING GEORGE LOPEZ IS A PEE-PEE HEAD»

Posted on October 27, 2009 in Bad Idea Jeans, Free Advertising (33 comments)
Tags: George Lopez | Lopez Tonight | Pee | Yuck

The Vampire Thing Needs To End Right Now

The above image (via GetThaL@@k) is a vampire sex toy into which you are supposed to put your penis (I think? I have no idea, mom, I'm just kidding.) It is also the headstone on the grave of the... CONTINUE READING THE VAMPIRE THING NEEDS TO END RIGHT NOW»

David Spade's Publicist Makes No Apologies For Disgraceful Farley Ad

Some people, including this people, were a little grossed out by David Spade's appearance with a CGI Chris Farley in an ad for Direct TV. I think the main reasons people were bothered by it was the fact that advertising... CONTINUE READING DAVID SPADE'S PUBLICIST MAKES NO APOLOGIES FOR DISGRACEFUL FARLEY AD»

The Bigger Biggest Loser

ABC is developing a variation on The Biggest Loser called Obese for people pursuing extreme weight-loss. Perfect. We're gonna need a bigger pair of Terrible Idea Jeans! Get it? Bigger? Because of fat.... CONTINUE READING THE BIGGER BIGGEST LOSER»

Posted on October 23, 2009 in Reality TV, What America Wants (9 comments)
Tags: Health | Obese | Obesity | The Biggest Loser | Yuck

Simon Cowell To End Lazy Gay Jokes In Honor Of Gay Woman

I don't watch American Idol. For one thing, I am 102 years old. What is there for me in American Idol? Is there medicine in it? How about a comfortable place to sit away from the window because it's too... CONTINUE READING SIMON COWELL TO END LAZY GAY JOKES IN HONOR OF GAY WOMAN»

The Simpsons Has Stripped The Shark

Marge Simpson appears "nude" on the cover of Playboy's November issue. TMZ "leaked" this image of the cover, and provided their classically important and insightful commentary: This is the closest you'll ever get to finding out if the carpet really... CONTINUE READING THE SIMPSONS HAS STRIPPED THE SHARK»

A Round Up Of Reviews Of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

Well, it is finally here. The movie that nobody was waiting for. I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, a sub-sub-par Hangover* with no stars based on a shitty blog. Perfect! Hollywood was like, "we're gonna need a bigger green... CONTINUE READING A ROUND UP OF REVIEWS OF I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL»

Posted on September 25, 2009 in Everyone's A Critic (51 comments)
Tags: I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell | Movie Reviews | Tucker Max | Yuck

The Jay Leno Show Is Awful

No matter how bad things get in one's life, there is always the held-out hope that they will eventually get better. We all dutifully push our own shopping cart through the falling ash as we carry our personal fire to... CONTINUE READING THE JAY LENO SHOW IS AWFUL»

Who Wants To Go See All About Steve Now?

Do you want to go see All About Steve now? Wait, whuuuuuuuut? You don't? WHY NOT? Is it because Sandra Bullock's face doesn't look "annoying" enough? Because it looks pretty annoying right now, but I can kind of see what... CONTINUE READING WHO WANTS TO GO SEE ALL ABOUT STEVE NOW?»

Posted on August 10, 2009 in Movie Posters (88 comments)
Tags: All About Steve | Bradley Cooper | Dating | Sandra Bullock | Yuck

Where The Hell Are People Who Would Want Matt's Book?

Ew. You know that guy, Matt? The one who makes videos of himself dancing all over the world so that mom's have something to forward over email and the Today show has another "cute" story in the morning? Well now... CONTINUE READING WHERE THE HELL ARE PEOPLE WHO WOULD WANT MATT'S BOOK?»

Posted on July 23, 2009 in Dream Merch, WebJunk, What America Wants (11 comments)
Tags: Books | Dancing | Matt Harding | Yuck

Mentos, The FAILmaker

Mentos used to be the candy of success. Let's say, for example, that you wanted to get into a music concert but the bouncer wouldn't let you. EASY. Just eat a Mentos, and now you're crawling through the back of... CONTINUE READING MENTOS, THE FAILMAKER»

What Is That Squirrel Doing To That Yogurt?!

Oh jeez. SHUT IT DOWN. ALL OF IT.... CONTINUE READING WHAT IS THAT SQUIRREL DOING TO THAT YOGURT?!»

Posted on July 15, 2009 in WebJunk (7 comments)
Tags: Sex | Squirrels | Two Girls One Cup | Yogurt | Yuck

Pranks Are The Worst: An On-Going Study

Evidence #3224: whether or not this girl's toilet paper prank against her dad is effective or hilarious (neither) is overshadowed by the fact that this girl should STOP VIDEOTAPING HER DAD GOING TO THE BATHROOM. Ugh, pranks!... CONTINUE READING PRANKS ARE THE WORST: AN ON-GOING STUDY»

Posted on July 14, 2009 in Pranks And Stunts (12 comments)
Tags: Dads | Toilet Paper | Toilets | Yuck

Your Baby Dresses Like An Asshole

Jon Gosselin and Christian Audigier (Ed Hardy) are teaming up to design a children's clothing line. Now you, too, can make terrible decisions for your children.... CONTINUE READING YOUR BABY DRESSES LIKE AN ASSHOLE»

The Black Eyed Peas Are Having A Party, And Unfortunately Everyone Is Invited

New Black Eyed Peas video, you guys. And you know what that means: 4 minutes in HEAVEN! Man, it takes a lot of effort to make a big, expensive dance party look like a total nightmare, but the Black Eyed... CONTINUE READING THE BLACK EYED PEAS ARE HAVING A PARTY, AND UNFORTUNATELY EVERYONE IS INVITED»

Posted on June 4, 2009 in Music Related Content (52 comments)
Tags: Party | The Black Eyed Peas | Yuck

Natasha Richardson's Death Continues To Be Handled In A Classy And Non-Exploitative Way

An email newsletter from English ski-wear company SkiWear4Less (or Ski Warehouse? definitely ski something) has been banned by the U.K.'s Advertising Standard's Authority, whatever that means, for including Natasha Richardson as a bid to sell more ski helmets. Huh. It... CONTINUE READING NATASHA RICHARDSON'S DEATH CONTINUES TO BE HANDLED IN A CLASSY AND NON-EXPLOITATIVE WAY»