Whoops, MTV, You Renewed The City

Whitney Port's dull, pre-rehearsed adventures in New York will continue for a second season. Second Season FAIL. On the plus side, it means we will continue to have a reason to make reference to that guy who TRIED TO BUY... CONTINUE READING WHOOPS, MTV, YOU RENEWED THE CITY»

Posted on January 27, 2009 in Bad Idea Jeans, Reality TV (0 comments)
Tags: Nevan Donahue | The City | Whitney Port

Exclusive Clip From An Upcoming Episode Of The City

Earlier today it was reported that Olivia's cousin Nevan (because that's a name that people have) from The City was once arrested for trying to buy a blowjob using Oxycontin. That is still the second funniest thing after Hugh Jackman... CONTINUE READING EXCLUSIVE CLIP FROM AN UPCOMING EPISODE OF THE CITY»

Posted on January 9, 2009 in Reality TV (5 comments)
Tags: Nevan Donahue | Oxycontin | The City | Whitney Port

Maybe We Should Be Watching The City

Whitney Port's Hills spin-off The City is so painfully contrived and boring and stupid and annoying that we have decided not to watch it. I don't mean "we" in the blog-standard royal "we" as a coy stand-in for "I" definition... CONTINUE READING MAYBE WE SHOULD BE WATCHING THE CITY»

The Hills: Marriage Is Between A Goat Man And A Plastic Woman

I cannot tell you how convenient it is that Diane Von Furstenberg offered Whitney the job right before her spin-off reality show The City premieres. Can you imagine how awkward it would have been if she didn't get the job?!... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A GOAT MAN AND A PLASTIC WOMAN»

The Hills: Whitney Has Always Dreamed Of Moving To Spin-Off Show City

Most of this week's episode is a build up to the December 29th premiere of Whitney Port's spin-off series, The City, which is too bad because I would much rather have seen them work in a bunch of build up... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: WHITNEY HAS ALWAYS DREAMED OF MOVING TO SPIN-OFF SHOW CITY»

The City Should Be Called The Devil's Public Relations Associate

There's a new, even more detailed trailer for Whitney Port's Hills spinoff, The City: When the first promo for The City came out in October, Gabe astutely noted that Whitney Port herself seems to be barely in the show (he... CONTINUE READING THE CITY SHOULD BE CALLED THE DEVIL'S PUBLIC RELATIONS ASSOCIATE»

Posted on December 2, 2008 in Reality TV (9 comments)
Tags: Animal Collective | The City | The Devil's Advocate | The Hills | Whitney Port

The Hills Continues To Pretend Heidi Montag Ever Had A Job To Begin With

This week's episode was mostly a big run up to Whitney Port's spin-off, The City. Kelly Cutrone was like "Whitney and Lauren, I need you to come to New York immediately and pretend like you are working so that we... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS CONTINUES TO PRETEND HEIDI MONTAG EVER HAD A JOB TO BEGIN WITH»

Looks Like The Stupid Student Has Become The Stupid Master

There's an article in the NYDN today about Whitney Port's adjustment to life in New York, and what people can look forward to (for lack of a better expression) in her new show, The City. Mostly the article is about...how...busy...Whitney... CONTINUE READING LOOKS LIKE THE STUPID STUDENT HAS BECOME THE STUPID MASTER»

Posted on November 3, 2008 in Behind The Scenes (0 comments)
Tags: Lauren Conrad | The City | The Hills | Whitney Port | Yo La Tengo

Whitney Port's New Show To Occasionally Feature Whitney Port

Trailer for Whitney Port's new Hills spin-off, The City, you guys: (via Dlisted) Whitney Port lacks the intellectual capacity to pick the pepperoni off of an entire slice of pizza without getting distracted, much less carry an entire reality show.... CONTINUE READING WHITNEY PORT'S NEW SHOW TO OCCASIONALLY FEATURE WHITNEY PORT»

Posted on October 21, 2008 in Reality TV (10 comments)
Tags: The City | The Hills | Whitney Port

Entourage: Are Vince And Ari Lovers?

So, after last week's wretched death of studio head Alan Gray, it seemed obvious that things would start turning up for Vince, and they might. But first apparently they are going to start turning up for Ari now that Caleb... CONTINUE READING ENTOURAGE: ARE VINCE AND ARI LOVERS? »

The Hills: Eyes On The Prize, America

Good news for people who hate The Hills, this show is on its last legs. I'm calling it right now. I'm not sure if they'll squeeze another season out after this one, or just let it quietly fade into so... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: EYES ON THE PRIZE, AMERICA»

The Hills: Killing One Doug With One Stone

Between this and Gossip Girl, there is now an 80 percent chance that my life will end on a Monday night. Anyway, we're only two episodes into the season, and already Lauren wants to break up with Doug. Did I... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: KILLING ONE DOUG WITH ONE STONE»

The Hills: We're Going To Need A Bigger Teapot For This Tempest

It's a sign of how hard The Hills is treading water, trying to stay relevant beneath the crushing weight of a celebrity gossip industry that de-mystifies any plot tension, which barely exists anyway due to sagging dramatic arcs, that this... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: WE'RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER TEAPOT FOR THIS TEMPEST»

Forget The Lattes, Hills Stars Can Afford To Own Their Own Starbucks Franchises

Blah blah blah, The Hills isn't real. Snooze me a river. At this point, we need to all take a page from Brody Jenner's book and CHILLAX. (I would ask that none of us take the other page from Brody... CONTINUE READING FORGET THE LATTES, HILLS STARS CAN AFFORD TO OWN THEIR OWN STARBUCKS FRANCHISES»

The Hills: Here We Go Again

So, we pick up where we left off, which isn't saying a lot because REAL TALK, The Hills has been treading water since season 2. Heidi and Lauren suffering a venomous rupture of their friendship is drama. Heidi and Lauren... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: HERE WE GO AGAIN»

Exclusive Sneak Preview Of Whitney Port's New Reality Show

FINALLY, The Hills gets its own unnecessary spin-off: A source tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands now) that MTV is prepping a show in which Whitney Port, 23, becomes bicoastal while working for fashion PR firm People's... CONTINUE READING EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PREVIEW OF WHITNEY PORT'S NEW REALITY SHOW»

Posted on June 5, 2008 in What America Wants (4 comments)
Tags: The Hills | Whitney Port

The Hills Season Finale: Who Will Be Written Into The Telenovela Of Life?

Last night's season finale of The Hills was really difficult to watch. I just can't willfully suspend my disbelief anymore. Let's take the Las Vegas scene for an example. Heidi is having a meeting with her bosses who have inexplicably... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS SEASON FINALE: WHO WILL BE WRITTEN INTO THE TELENOVELA OF LIFE?»

The Hills: Even Gollum Was Once Smeagol

Here is a clip from the season finale of The Hills. SPOILER ALERT you're welcome. Did they shoot this on a Walkman? You can always tell when it's getting "real" on this show because it suddenly stops looking like a... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: EVEN GOLLUM WAS ONCE SMEAGOL»

The Hills Is Going Rapidly Downhills

On last night's fake episode of The fake Hills, there was barely any Spencer magic. He told fake Stephanie that he was going to fake move out after she fake yelled at him in a fake mad voice about fake... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS IS GOING RAPIDLY DOWNHILLS»

The World Works On Haters Now

The four girls from The Hills (Lauren, Heidi, Audrina, and Whitney) are on the cover of the new Rolling Stone. There's an excerpt from the accompanying article on-line, which gives you the dirt on ... the photo-shoot for the cover.... CONTINUE READING THE WORLD WORKS ON HATERS NOW»

Heidi Montag's Parents Just Don't Understand

As someone who has championed The Hills to many of his skeptical Dinosaur Jr. friends, last night's season 4 premiere made me more than a little nervous. Whoops, sorry guys. I'm sure once Lauren and Whitney get back from Paris,... CONTINUE READING HEIDI MONTAG'S PARENTS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND»