Connect To Your Assholes, And Your Assholes' Assholes

The new season of The Hills doesn't start until August, but that doesn't mean you can't keep track of everyone's (least) favorite Hollywood Power Saddest Couple Of Emotional Corpses, Plastic Face and Goat Beard, via their new SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE?... CONTINUE READING CONNECT TO YOUR ASSHOLES, AND YOUR ASSHOLES' ASSHOLES»

Posted on June 3, 2008 in Bad Idea Jeans (4 comments)
Tags: Heidi Montag | National Failures | Speidiweb | Spencer Pratt | The Hills

Audrina Patridge Is Make The Words Come Out Like A Real Girl

Access Hollywood has an interview with Audrina Patridge on the set of Into the Blue 2. She is the smartest girl ever and when she grows up she's going to be the first female President of Smartistan. At one point... CONTINUE READING AUDRINA PATRIDGE IS MAKE THE WORDS COME OUT LIKE A REAL GIRL»

The Hills Is A Lot Of Fun, I Hope It Doesn't Die

Whoops, I totally forgot. In my Hills recap today I gave a prediction of what would happen to the cast members as they got older. LC is clearly on the downward path to becoming a bitter Margo Channing just as... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS IS A LOT OF FUN, I HOPE IT DOESN'T DIE»

The Hills Season Finale: Who Will Be Written Into The Telenovela Of Life?

Last night's season finale of The Hills was really difficult to watch. I just can't willfully suspend my disbelief anymore. Let's take the Las Vegas scene for an example. Heidi is having a meeting with her bosses who have inexplicably... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS SEASON FINALE: WHO WILL BE WRITTEN INTO THE TELENOVELA OF LIFE?»

The Hills: Even Gollum Was Once Smeagol

Here is a clip from the season finale of The Hills. SPOILER ALERT you're welcome. Did they shoot this on a Walkman? You can always tell when it's getting "real" on this show because it suddenly stops looking like a... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: EVEN GOLLUM WAS ONCE SMEAGOL»

The Hills Is Going Rapidly Downhills

On last night's fake episode of The fake Hills, there was barely any Spencer magic. He told fake Stephanie that he was going to fake move out after she fake yelled at him in a fake mad voice about fake... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS IS GOING RAPIDLY DOWNHILLS»

The World Works On Haters Now

The four girls from The Hills (Lauren, Heidi, Audrina, and Whitney) are on the cover of the new Rolling Stone. There's an excerpt from the accompanying article on-line, which gives you the dirt on ... the photo-shoot for the cover.... CONTINUE READING THE WORLD WORKS ON HATERS NOW»

Well, This Didn't Happen: The Spencer Pratt Show

If I were to ask you if you thought that Spencer Pratt hung out all the time in a coffee shop called Karma Coffehouse, that was completely empty, just sitting on a couch drinking a bottled water and texting on... CONTINUE READING WELL, THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN: THE SPENCER PRATT SHOW»

Posted on April 29, 2008 in Teen Soap Operas (1 comments)
Tags: Heidi Montag | Lauren Conrad | Spencer Pratt | Stephanie Pratt | The Hills

Joel McHale Watches Nothing But The Hills For 30 Days

Inspired by Super High Me, the new movie in which Doug Benson stays high for 30 days, and, of course, Morgan Spurlock's Supersize Me, The Soup's dreamboat Joel McHale dares to ask: "Could a person survive watching The Hills for... CONTINUE READING JOEL MCHALE WATCHES NOTHING BUT THE HILLS FOR 30 DAYS»

Posted on April 28, 2008 (2 comments)
Tags: Joel McHale | The Hills | The Soup

The Spencer Pratt Show Barely Manages To Squeak In Some Spencer Pratt

Hate him or hate him, Spencer Pratt is the only reason The Hills is still on the air. Everyone else is treading water. Do we really care whether Lauren and Lo move into a house together? WTF? Unless Lauren gets... CONTINUE READING THE SPENCER PRATT SHOW BARELY MANAGES TO SQUEAK IN SOME SPENCER PRATT»

Posted on April 22, 2008 in Hate-Watching, Reality TV (0 comments)
Tags: Audrina Patridge | Heidi Montag | Lauren Conrad | Spencer Pratt | The Hills

Heidi Montag To Star In Plastic Face Franchise

In other Hills news, MTV Movies Blog continues its proud tradition of enthusiastically reporting on movies that are not being made. Will a Hills movie be made? Probably not, and MTV Movies Blog is on the scene! This is funny,... CONTINUE READING HEIDI MONTAG TO STAR IN PLASTIC FACE FRANCHISE»

Posted on April 15, 2008 in What America Wants (0 comments)
Tags: Denzel Washington | Heid Montag | Lauren Conrad | The Hills

The Spencer Pratt Show: Bizarro Alterverse

Now that we've cut the shit about pretending like watching The Hills validates our over-priced college educations, it's nice to just be able to fast forward all the salad eating (Is there more salad eating in this season than ever... CONTINUE READING THE SPENCER PRATT SHOW: BIZARRO ALTERVERSE»

Posted on April 15, 2008 in Soap Operas (4 comments)
Tags: Andrew W.K. | Heidi Montag | Spencer Pratt | The Hills

Rewind: Videogum's Four Day Anniversary!

Are you first tuning in now? There's some stuff you missed. We made our feelings known about Keith Morrison and Al Roker. Top Chef Quickfire! Salad on a stick! Michael Chabon revealed his Spider-Man 2 fan fiction. Lindsay watched The... CONTINUE READING REWIND: VIDEOGUM'S FOUR DAY ANNIVERSARY!»

Lauren Conrad To Learn English For The NHL

You love hockey. Who doesn't love hockey? Such a great sport. Huge fan right here. I love when they make the ice baskets. Guess who else loves hockey. No, not the Wayans brothers. You're thinking of lacrosse. Wayans brothers are... CONTINUE READING LAUREN CONRAD TO LEARN ENGLISH FOR THE NHL»

Posted on April 10, 2008 (1 comments)
Tags: Lauren Conrad | NHL | The Hills

Did You Watch Last Night's The Spencer Pratt Show?

We're all smart here, right? Smart enough? So can we cut the shit with The Hills already? It was cool last season for smart-ish people (and myself) to come up with elaborate college reasons for why it was OK to... CONTINUE READING DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT'S THE SPENCER PRATT SHOW?»

Heidi Montag's Parents Just Don't Understand

As someone who has championed The Hills to many of his skeptical Dinosaur Jr. friends, last night's season 4 premiere made me more than a little nervous. Whoops, sorry guys. I'm sure once Lauren and Whitney get back from Paris,... CONTINUE READING HEIDI MONTAG'S PARENTS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND»