The Hills: In The Land Of The Clowns, Lauren Conrad Is Queen

This week's The Hills poses a very serious problem. Lauren goes on vacation to Italy (vacation from what, exactly?), at which point drama ensues! Can you believe all this drama that's ensuing while Lauren is in Italy? Except that all... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: IN THE LAND OF THE CLOWNS, LAUREN CONRAD IS QUEEN»

Hills Death Watch: Audrina Patridge

Our national Hills nightmare is almost over, guys. TMZ reported last night that Audrina was moving out of Conrad Estates, which we kind of saw coming, right? No one really believed that nonsense about her and Lauren crying and being... CONTINUE READING HILLS DEATH WATCH: AUDRINA PATRIDGE»

Posted on September 19, 2008 in Behind The Scenes, Reality TV (1 comments)
Tags: Audrina Patridge | The Hills

Sick Kids Get Visits From Reality TV Jerks The Darndest Things

It would be in bad taste to make fun of Heidi and Spencer visiting sick children in a hospital. They're trying to do something nice. So we aren't going to say, like, "Oh my God, why are they trying to... CONTINUE READING SICK KIDS GET VISITS FROM REALITY TV JERKS THE DARNDEST THINGS»

The Hills: Eyes On The Prize, America

Good news for people who hate The Hills, this show is on its last legs. I'm calling it right now. I'm not sure if they'll squeeze another season out after this one, or just let it quietly fade into so... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: EYES ON THE PRIZE, AMERICA»

You Can Make It Up: Lauren Conrad's YA Novel

Laura Goes To Hollywood: An Inspirational Story For Young Women by Lauren Conrad CHAPTER ONE: LAURA BONRAD'S JOURNEY Laura Bonrad get in her Mercedes. She kiss her mom goodbye on the cheek. "Goodbye, mama," she say. "I have to go... CONTINUE READING YOU CAN MAKE IT UP: LAUREN CONRAD'S YA NOVEL»

Bravo Just Hearing About This Silver Spoons Show

Laguna Beach ended two years ago, The Hills just entered it's fourth season, 90210's debut episode pulled in record viewers for its home channel CW, and Gossip Girl is all the rage. Oh look, here comes Bravo. Hello Bravo! You... CONTINUE READING BRAVO JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS SILVER SPOONS SHOW»

She Talk Pretty One Day

People magazine reports that Lauren Conrad has signed a three-book deal with HarperCollins. Whoops, HarperCollins, that's your author. The books - the first of which is scheduled to hit shelves in the summer of 2009 - will be loosely inspired... CONTINUE READING SHE TALK PRETTY ONE DAY»

Posted on September 11, 2008 in What America Wants (2 comments)
Tags: Books | Common | Lauren Conrad | The Hills

The Hills: The Black Tears Of A Miserable Clown

Two episodes of Hills in one week? That is so much Hills! You know that feeling you get when you drink too many no-fat soy lattes with sugar-free pomegranate syrup and your hands start to shake? This is like that,... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: THE BLACK TEARS OF A MISERABLE CLOWN»

The Hills: It's Frankie's Party, And Everyone Will Cry If They're Told To By Producers

It's Frankie's birthday and we're going to Vegasssssss! Just one quick question, though: WHO'S FRANKIE? Frankie, of course, is Brody Jenner's friend, who somehow lacks the charisma to make it onto this show as a regular cast member. He's been... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: IT'S FRANKIE'S PARTY, AND EVERYONE WILL CRY IF THEY'RE TOLD TO BY PRODUCERS»

You Can Make It Up: Gossip Girl, The Hills, And The New 90210 Have Tea At The Plaza Hotel

Violin music gently filled the tastefully appointed Tea Room at the Plaza Hotel. Blair Waldorf and Serena Van Der Woodsen sat at a table near the back, along with Nate Archibald, Chuck Bass, and Dan Humphrey. Accompanying them were Heidi... CONTINUE READING YOU CAN MAKE IT UP: GOSSIP GIRL, THE HILLS, AND THE NEW 90210 HAVE TEA AT THE PLAZA HOTEL»

Posted on September 4, 2008 in You Can Make It Up (2 comments)
Tags: 90210 | Gossip Girl | The Hills

The Hills: Killing One Doug With One Stone

Between this and Gossip Girl, there is now an 80 percent chance that my life will end on a Monday night. Anyway, we're only two episodes into the season, and already Lauren wants to break up with Doug. Did I... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: KILLING ONE DOUG WITH ONE STONE»

Forget The Lattes, Hills Stars Can Afford To Own Their Own Starbucks Franchises

Blah blah blah, The Hills isn't real. Snooze me a river. At this point, we need to all take a page from Brody Jenner's book and CHILLAX. (I would ask that none of us take the other page from Brody... CONTINUE READING FORGET THE LATTES, HILLS STARS CAN AFFORD TO OWN THEIR OWN STARBUCKS FRANCHISES»

Human Giant + Heidi And Spencer = Noooooooo

This picture, which was obviously taken last night because of Heidi's dress (kill me, please), had better be extremely ironic. This is not going to be a thing: Hey, whatever Human Giant guys, I guess if I saw Heidi and... CONTINUE READING HUMAN GIANT + HEIDI AND SPENCER = NOOOOOOOO»

The Hills: Here We Go Again

So, we pick up where we left off, which isn't saying a lot because REAL TALK, The Hills has been treading water since season 2. Heidi and Lauren suffering a venomous rupture of their friendship is drama. Heidi and Lauren... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: HERE WE GO AGAIN»

Heidi Montag Is Mentally Retarded, And I Mean That In The Respectful, Clinical Definition

Speaking of The Hills, in preparation for tonight's season 4 debut, Heidi has released a new single, "Overdosin'." You know what they say, misery loves blogging about it. This is unbearable, yes, but it is possible to find a bright... CONTINUE READING HEIDI MONTAG IS MENTALLY RETARDED, AND I MEAN THAT IN THE RESPECTFUL, CLINICAL DEFINITION»

Posted on August 18, 2008 in Behind The Scenes, Music Related Content, Reality TV (1 comments)
Tags: Heidi Montag | Overdosin' | The Hills

9 Predictions For Tonight's Season Premiere Of The Hills

Season 4 of The Hills begins tonight, reuniting us with LC, Heidi, Audrina, and the rest of Goof Troop. The show has been on hiatus for three months, which means almost anything could have happened and almost nothing will have... CONTINUE READING 9 PREDICTIONS FOR TONIGHT'S SEASON PREMIERE OF THE HILLS»

Punch Kim Kardashian In The Face

There's a new boxing game coming out from Electronic Arts this fall called Face Breaker that features a customization tool whereby you can upload your own face or the faces of your enemies to break. As an example of this... CONTINUE READING PUNCH KIM KARDASHIAN IN THE FACE»

Posted on August 7, 2008 in Video Games (6 comments)
Tags: Face Breaker | Hitler | Kim Kardashian | Modest Mouse | The Hills

Audrina Patridge Has A Blog

Audrina Patridge has a blog! So what! To be fair, of all the people on The Hills, Audrina is the most interesting. She's kind of nice, and she's kind of pretty, but she's not that nice, and she's not that... CONTINUE READING AUDRINA PATRIDGE HAS A BLOG»

Posted on August 1, 2008 in Behind The Scenes (5 comments)
Tags: Advice | Audrina Patridge | Blogs | Liars | The Hills

Exclusive: A Look At The Hills "Scheduled Reality" Production Calendar

This week's Entertainment Weekly features a cover story on The Hills, featuring a sneak preview of season 4 (SPOILER ALERT, it's the barfiest season yet!), and behind the scenes looks at stuff like Lauren's awkward barbecue with her ex-boyfriend Doug... CONTINUE READING EXCLUSIVE: A LOOK AT THE HILLS "SCHEDULED REALITY" PRODUCTION CALENDAR»

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Audrina Patridge Does Not Work In The Music Industry

There was an interview with Audrina Patridge in the LA Times yesterday in which she talked about what goes on behind the scenes (soy latte party!), what it's like to be famous, and her highly anticipated feature film debut in... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: AUDRINA PATRIDGE DOES NOT WORK IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY»

Posted on July 29, 2008 in Behind The Scenes, Reality TV (1 comments)
Tags: Audrina Patridge | The Hills

Choosing Your New Lower Back Tattoo Based On The Next Season Of The Hills

Here's a new preview of The Hills, you guys. It's got tons of great ideas for your ink. (Gross. Everyone who actually says "ink" like that in real life should get a tattoo of prison bars on their face.) Here... CONTINUE READING CHOOSING YOUR NEW LOWER BACK TATTOO BASED ON THE NEXT SEASON OF THE HILLS»

Posted on July 22, 2008 in Soap Operas (4 comments)
Tags: Audrina Patridge | Heidi Montag | Lauren Conrad | Spencer Pratt | The Hills

Bravo No Longer The Gayest Channel

When it was announced last week that Whitney Port is getting her own MTV show, we all had a good laugh. Now we can all have a good cry. From The Hollywood Reporter: The Hills co-star Brody Jenner is getting... CONTINUE READING BRAVO NO LONGER THE GAYEST CHANNEL»

Posted on June 10, 2008 in Nullus, Reality TV (4 comments)
Tags: Brody Jenner | Bromance | The Hills

Friday Fight: How Great Are Heidi And Spencer, You Guys?

gabe: heidi and spencer are hilarious lindsay: they're hilariously ridiculous, but they should be stopped. gabe: they will be stopped gabe: by the angel of death gabe: he spares no one lindsay: They should be stopped by the angel of... CONTINUE READING FRIDAY FIGHT: HOW GREAT ARE HEIDI AND SPENCER, YOU GUYS?»

Posted on June 6, 2008 in Friday Fight (7 comments)
Tags: Heidi Montag | Spencer Pratt | The Hills

You Can Make It Up: Werner Herzog Watches An Episode Of The Hills

"What is this? You cannot be serious with this. These girls. These are robot girls? What types of girls are these? One time in the Amazon I saw a woman carrying her baby in a pouch she had slung across... CONTINUE READING YOU CAN MAKE IT UP: WERNER HERZOG WATCHES AN EPISODE OF THE HILLS»

Posted on June 5, 2008 in You Can Make It Up (3 comments)
Tags: The Hills | Werner Herzog

Exclusive Sneak Preview Of Whitney Port's New Reality Show

FINALLY, The Hills gets its own unnecessary spin-off: A source tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands now) that MTV is prepping a show in which Whitney Port, 23, becomes bicoastal while working for fashion PR firm People's... CONTINUE READING EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PREVIEW OF WHITNEY PORT'S NEW REALITY SHOW»

Posted on June 5, 2008 in What America Wants (4 comments)
Tags: The Hills | Whitney Port