Professor Faces Over Here

Gordon Ramsay got plastic surgery. Fine. But he did it on the advice of Simon Cowell? I thought only teenage girls took what that guy said seriously. (Sometimes TOO seriously.)... CONTINUE READING PROFESSOR FACES OVER HERE»

Simon Cowell To End Lazy Gay Jokes In Honor Of Gay Woman

I don't watch American Idol. For one thing, I am 102 years old. What is there for me in American Idol? Is there medicine in it? How about a comfortable place to sit away from the window because it's too... CONTINUE READING SIMON COWELL TO END LAZY GAY JOKES IN HONOR OF GAY WOMAN»

Oh, American Idol Arcade Game, We Hardly/Never Knew You

Have you ever had something taken away that you didn't even know was yours to begin with? It's a strange feeling. There's loss and remorse, but loss and remorse over what? Loss and remorse over what might have been! That's... CONTINUE READING OH, AMERICAN IDOL ARCADE GAME, WE HARDLY/NEVER KNEW YOU»

Simon Cowell Gets Paid The Exact Right Amount

Simon Cowell is renegotiating his American Idol contract this week, and rumors are starting to circulate about how much he is going to make. Last year he made $36 million for making teenagers feel bad about themselves (something that most... CONTINUE READING SIMON COWELL GETS PAID THE EXACT RIGHT AMOUNT»

Posted on June 30, 2009 in Behind The Scenes (9 comments)
Tags: American Idol | C.R.E.A.M. | Simon Cowell

Friday Fight: Two People Who Don't Watch American Idol Fight About American Idol Again

gabe: i cannot believe that adam lambert lost American Idol gabe: since he is the person that i have arbitrarily decided to have been rooting for lindsay: adam lambert did not get as many votes as my person, "Kris Allen."... CONTINUE READING FRIDAY FIGHT: TWO PEOPLE WHO DON'T WATCH AMERICAN IDOL FIGHT ABOUT AMERICAN IDOL AGAIN»

That's Not Your Girlfriend: Susan Boyle

A frumpy, virginal, somewhat hammy 47-year-old cat lady from Bathgate, West Lothian in Scotland performed on Britain's Got Talent this weekend, and for a really long time it looked like she was definitely your girlfriend. Everyone was like "haha, look... CONTINUE READING THAT'S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND: SUSAN BOYLE»

Posted on April 13, 2009 in Love-Watching, That's Your Girlfriend (59 comments)
Tags: Britain's Got Talent | Simon Cowell | Susan Boyle

American Idol To Launch Line Of Unwanted Antiquated Garbage

Well, everyone's favorite show, American Idol, is about to become everyone's favorite outmoded novelty product. From the AP: "Idol" production company FremantleMedia and trading card publisher Upper Deck are launching a new line of trading cards featuring images of past... CONTINUE READING AMERICAN IDOL TO LAUNCH LINE OF UNWANTED ANTIQUATED GARBAGE»

Oh Phew, The American Idol Non-Emergency Is Over

So, there was some "hilarity" this week when American Idol decided to create a top 13 of finalists rather than the customary top 12. SOME RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN. The thing is, the 1-800 numbers for people (people... CONTINUE READING OH PHEW, THE AMERICAN IDOL NON-EMERGENCY IS OVER»

George The Physics Major Humiliates The American Idol Judges

A tipster who watches American Idol alerted us to George Ramirez, the bearded, earnest (or is he?), honest American Idol contestant from Tuesday's show. The show was clearly trying to paint George as an odd nerd who didn't belong there,... CONTINUE READING GEORGE THE PHYSICS MAJOR HUMILIATES THE AMERICAN IDOL JUDGES»

Posted on January 29, 2009 in Reality TV, Science (20 comments)
Tags: American Idol | George Ramirez | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell

American Idol Is A Murderer

All day, the gossip has been unfolding about the woman found dead in her car outside of Paula Abdul's house last night of an apparent suicide. As more and more details have made into the press, the sadder and sadder... CONTINUE READING AMERICAN IDOL IS A MURDERER»

Kara DioGuardi Joining American Idol As First Non-Addled Female Judge

BREAKING NEWS today on the American Idol front. They're adding a fourth judge! NEW YORK - Scoot over, Simon Cowell. "American Idol" is adding a fourth critic to its panel of judges. Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi will sit alongside Cowell,... CONTINUE READING KARA DIOGUARDI JOINING AMERICAN IDOL AS FIRST NON-ADDLED FEMALE JUDGE»

Posted on August 25, 2008 in Behind The Scenes, Casting Calls, Reality TV (0 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Kara DioGuardi | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell

Friday Fight: Who Should Have Won American Idol According To Two People Who Don't Watch It

gabe: did you watch the american idol finale? lindsay: No gabe: me neither lindsay: who won? gabe: david cook. lindsay: boo! archuleta should have won! gabe: no way, david cook totally deserved to win gabe: did you hear him sing?... CONTINUE READING FRIDAY FIGHT: WHO SHOULD HAVE WON AMERICAN IDOL ACCORDING TO TWO PEOPLE WHO DON'T WATCH IT»

David Archuleta Can See The Future

Well, David Cook won American Idol last night, just as Simon said he would last week, so he will probably be too busy for the County Fair tour of Plain White Tees Nuts this summer. A record 95 million votes... CONTINUE READING DAVID ARCHULETA CAN SEE THE FUTURE»

Posted on May 22, 2008 in Reality TV (2 comments)
Tags: American Idol | David Archuleta | David Cook | Death | Simon Cowell

You're Going Down, David

So tonight is the American Idol finale, and while I think we can all agree that there are two noble and worthy competitors up for the prize, it's impossible not to be partisan. I hope the guy I like best... CONTINUE READING YOU'RE GOING DOWN, DAVID»

Posted on May 21, 2008 (0 comments)
Tags: American Idol | David Archuleta | David Cook | Simon Cowell | Team Shirts

Simon Cowell Would Like Someone From American Idol I Guess To Win

I like Simon Cowell. He's so sassy! He's basically made a living out of leaving flaming bags of shit on people's doorsteps, but he doesn't run away from it, and when you stomp the flames out you discover that your... CONTINUE READING SIMON COWELL WOULD LIKE SOMEONE FROM AMERICAN IDOL I GUESS TO WIN»

Posted on May 14, 2008 in Music Related Content, Reality TV (2 comments)
Tags: American Idol | David Cook | Simon Cowell

Duh: American Idol Is Carefully Organized

Have you ever wondered what things were really like on the set of American Idol? Me neither. I'm sorry, but Kelly Clarkson nailed it in the first season, and everything since then has just been biding time until we're all... CONTINUE READING DUH: AMERICAN IDOL IS CAREFULLY ORGANIZED»

Posted on April 22, 2008 in Behind The Scenes, Reality TV (0 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Kelly Clarkson | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell

American Idol: The Best Season Yet?

The last time I watched American Idol, Kelly Clarkson was named the winner and she sang "Wind Beneath My Wings" or something and there was a lot of confetti. It was just before America gained its independence. What a heady... CONTINUE READING AMERICAN IDOL: THE BEST SEASON YET?»