Gossip Girl S03E10: The Play Is The Huh?

Obviously, this show has become ridiculous. It used to be about students at an elite private high school, their social and sexual manipulations, and handbags or whatever. That made sense. It had an internal logic to it. What is this... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL S03E10: THE PLAY IS THE HUH?»

Gossip Girl S03E09: That's Your Threesome

"Have you been so busy that you've forgotten what time of year it is?" Gossip Girl asks at the top of the episode. Uh, no? No, I have not. It is fall. It is a week and a half after... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL S03E09: THAT'S YOUR THREESOME»

Gossip Girl S03E08: Vote Or Die Or Just Die

At the end of this week's episode, they showed the teaser for next week's episode, and it is going to feature a threesome? Perfect. They should use this show in junior high school classrooms, to teach children about life. But... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL S03E08: VOTE OR DIE OR JUST DIE»

Gossip Girl S03E07: I'm Dreaming Of A White Halloween

It's Halloween, and you know what that means: Kiss pumpkins! Wait, what? The episode opens with Rufus carving an entire series of Kiss pumpkins. WHY DON'T YOU FOCUS ON RAISING YOUR CHILDREN, RUFUS? Later, Rufus will dress up like the... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL S03E07: I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE HALLOWEEN»

Gossip Girl S03E06: Chuck Bass Is Blah-Curious

Blair has a bad dream based on All About Eve. Sure she does. It's 2009, it just makes sense that a college freshman would have a dream in which she is the Bette Davis character in a 60 year old... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL S03E06: CHUCK BASS IS BLAH-CURIOUS»

Gossip Girl S03E05: Rufus And Lily Are No Jim And Pam. Also: Sonic Youth?

If there was one week to miss so far this season, it was last week. Hilary Duff? Tyra Banks? Come on. I mean, I know this show is a make-believe dystopian nightmare for children, but one celebrity guest at a... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL S03E05: RUFUS AND LILY ARE NO JIM AND PAM. ALSO: SONIC YOUTH?»

Gossip Girl: Children Take Their Scotch Neat, You Know That

Blair, who uses gloves to turn dormitory door knobs (of course she does), walks in on Dan and Georgina up in each other's gutz. CAUGHT! Dan is like "I was just in here to get a book called Our Bodies... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: CHILDREN TAKE THEIR SCOTCH NEAT, YOU KNOW THAT»

Gossip Girl: The College Years

Whoa. Whatever facts about high school may have been gently fudged during the first two seasons of Gossip Girl (almost all of the facts, covered in fudge), they're going even further with their depiction of college, obliterating generations of human... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: THE COLLEGE YEARS»

Gossip Girl: It's Not A Real Soap Opera Until Someone Gets Amnesia

Wow, the summer really is over. TIME TO LEAVE THE HAMPTONS. Or whatever. Are the Hamptons gauche now? I don't know. TIME TO LEAVE THE MOON. Old money is all about summering on the moon now. Of course, the season... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: IT'S NOT A REAL SOAP OPERA UNTIL SOMEONE GETS AMNESIA»

Piecing Together Gossip Girl Season 3 From These Five Clues

First, your honor, I present the evidence. Article 1: BUT WAIT, DOCTOR JUDGE, THERE IS MORE OF THIS:... CONTINUE READING PIECING TOGETHER GOSSIP GIRL SEASON 3 FROM THESE FIVE CLUES»

Some Predictions For Gossip Girl Season 3

Chuck Bass dips into the Bass fortune to open his own chain of infused-smoothie stores, going head to head with Jambo's Juice (CEO revealed in final episode with cameo by Breckin Meyer). Serena Van Der Woodsen is found decapitated... CONTINUE READING SOME PREDICTIONS FOR GOSSIP GIRL SEASON 3»

Penn Badgley Is About To Not Hit The Big Time

Penn Badgley is in a new thriller movie called The Stepfather. Here is the trailer, you guys: This looks like the single least scary movie ever made! "I've got to go down and check out those padlocked meat lockers that... CONTINUE READING PENN BADGLEY IS ABOUT TO NOT HIT THE BIG TIME»

Posted on June 17, 2009 in Trailer (36 comments)
Tags: Dan Humphrey | Horror Survival | Penn Badgley | The Stepfather

Gossip Girl: Season Finale

It's graduation time! And that means the end of Gossip Girl, says Serena, who is always right about everything. She's like a Correct Assumptions Factory. Hopefully, Serena says at brunch with Blair, this whole being arrested thing will be the... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: SEASON FINALE»

Gossip Girl: I Hate The '80s

Last week, Nikki Finke reported that the Gossip Girl spin-off about young Lily Rhode's adventures in LA had been canceled before it even began. Actually, Nikki Finke said "put a fork in it. It's done," just to give you a... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: I HATE THE '80S»

Gossip Girl: You Can't Con A Conner

Serena's new boyfriend Gabriel pulled a classic grift (what con artists call the Internet in Africa Oopsie Daisy) and got all of the money. If only Serena had listened to Chuck and Blair's creepy and vague suggestions that something just... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: YOU CAN'T CON A CONNER»

Gossip Girl: Apparently No One On The UES Has Ever Seen A "Sawyer" Episode Of Lost

The show opens with a joke about how Blair refuses to use the dirty, dirty subway. Oh please. I am willing to accept so much from this show, from the weekly cocktail parties to the casual ways in which adults... Lost'">CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: APPARENTLY NO ONE ON THE UES HAS EVER SEEN A "SAWYER" EPISODE OF LOST»

Gossip Girl: The Jews Escaped Egypt For This?

The episode opens in the middle of a My Fair Lady-esque dream sequence in which Blair tries to sell...herself...flowers in a fancy restaurant to pay for school and then is escorted out by Grandfather Archibald because "that dream is over."... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: THE JEWS ESCAPED EGYPT FOR THIS?»

Gossip Girl: Grandfather Can Be Very Persuasive

Vanessa and Dan are heading over to Nate's house to watch some college basketball and talking all about the European vacation Vanessa is planning on taking with Nate this summer. Uh oh. Not two seconds into this week's episode and... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: GRANDFATHER CAN BE VERY PERSUASIVE»

Gossip Girl: All The World Is, Like, Totally A Stage, Or Whatever

YESSSS! It's back! We pick up right where we left off. Dan Humphrey is hooking up with that horrible teacher that at first it was rumored he was hooking up with when he wasn't but then she got fired for... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: ALL THE WORLD IS, LIKE, TOTALLY A STAGE, OR WHATEVER»

Gossip Girl: Short Eyes Wide Shut

Blair has community service because of how she invited the new teacher, Ms. Carr, to the opera as a prank. I really wish they would have shown the scene in which Ms. Carr was forced to explain her side of... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: SHORT EYES WIDE SHUT»

Gossip Girl: It's Not Over Until The Size 4 Lady Sings

It's Yale Day, whatever that is. Have things really changed so much since I went to college? Granted, that was back in 1953, when a woman wouldn't dare to show her ankles, but I remember everyone getting their acceptance letters... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL THE SIZE 4 LADY SINGS»

Gossip Girl: Blood Is More Of An Asshole Than Water

It's time to read Bart Bass's will. Lilly won't be there because she is in Boston with Rufus trying to track down their secret monster adoption nightmare. But Chuck has asked Blair to go with him, and the mysterious new... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: BLOOD IS MORE OF AN ASSHOLE THAN WATER»

Gossip Girl: Rufus Humphrey Is A Terrible Father

First things first: Aaron Rose is gone! Wait, isn't he Blair's stepbrother now? Shhhh! Don't spoil the Christmas Miracle with all of your pertinent questions. Gone. Serena broke up with him on the plane to Buenos Aires, which is classic... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: RUFUS HUMPHREY IS A TERRIBLE FATHER»

Gossip Girl: One Weddings And A Funeral

[Ed. Note: better late.] So, Bart Bass is dead. OR IS HE? My friend Steven has floated the possibility that he's not dead (quote: i just don't believe someone is dead until i see the corpse and see someone pee... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: ONE WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL»

How About A SPOILER ALERT On These New Gossip Girl Posters

There's a new series of "provocative" Gossip Girl print ads that are going to definitely make the kids go hmm, just as soon as the kids discover the joys of reading. Each ad features one of the main characters (but... CONTINUE READING HOW ABOUT A SPOILER ALERT ON THESE NEW GOSSIP GIRL POSTERS»