Man, this guy Jon Gosselin (whoever that is) has awful taste in friends. First he became friends with Christian Audigier, of Ed Hardy, and here he is hanging out with Michael Lohan. With friends like these, who needs nightmares? I... CONTINUE READING OH BOY, WHO SHOULD JON GOSSELIN BE FRIENDS WITH NEXT?»
Posted on July 27, 2009 in
(62 comments)
Tags: Ed Hardy | Friendship | Idiocracy | Jon And Kate Plus 8 | Jon Gosselin | Michael Lohan | National Failures
Last year, Genuine Videogum Friend Rich FourFour made a supercut of everyone on reality TV delivering the genre's Official Slogan: "I'm not here to make friends." Now, a whole year of reality TV has gone by, and it's like Sawyer... CONTINUE READING I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS, 2009»
Posted on July 7, 2009 in ,
(28 comments)
Tags: National Failures | Rich FourFour
Marlon Brando was one of the greatest actors who ever lived. Ah-no-duh! He seethed with a tempestuous anger and bristled with an animal sexuality, is what someone would say if they were pretentious and wanted to sound smart when they... CONTINUE READING WHO WILL BE THE NEXT MARLON BRANDO?»
Posted on June 12, 2009 in
(62 comments)
Tags: Future | Marlon Brando | National Failures
It's official, Land of the Lost is the first bomb of the summer. Everyone says so. The AP says so. Variety says so. The New York Times even says so. Every summer movie season brings with it at least one... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: LAND OF THE LOST BOMBED»
Posted on June 8, 2009 in
(27 comments)
Tags: Danny McBride | Land Of The Lost | National Failures | Will Ferrell
I'm sorry. I know I should probably know this. But who the fuck are these guys? I know that they have a show on TLC, and I know that EVERYONE CAN'T SHUT UP ABOUT THEM, but I still am kind... CONTINUE READING WAIT A SECOND, WHO THE F ARE JON AND KATE?»
Posted on May 27, 2009 in
(35 comments)
Tags: Children | Divorce | Jon And Kate Plus 8 | Jon Gosselin | Kate Gosselin | National Failures
At first, you were really nervous about getting involved with a celebrity. You weren't sure if you could keep up with his fast-paced, extravagant lifestyle, and you were convinced that he would too-quickly grow bored with you. His fame... CONTINUE READING THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND: PETE WENTZ»
Posted on March 16, 2009 in ,
(13 comments)
Tags: Cobra Starship | National Failures | Pete Wentz
50 Cent has released a second installment in his completely unhinged "Pimpin' Curly" YouTube series in which he puts on a Jerri-Curl wig and acts like he's trying to get elected President of the High School Improv Troupe. Second installment?... CONTINUE READING WHO ISN'T HAVING SOME KIND OF PUBLIC BREAK DOWN THESE DAYS?»
Posted on February 13, 2009 in , ,
(7 comments)
Tags: 50 Cent | Melt Downs | National Failures | Pimpin Curly
The Osbourne family is coming back to television with a brand new variety show. It is going to be called Osbournes: Reloaded, and it is going to be miserable. Preview, you guys: We're gonna need a bigger YIKES. I know... CONTINUE READING IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO CREATE A WORSE SHOW THAN OSBOURNES: RELOADED »
Posted on February 11, 2009 in
(15 comments)
Tags: Jack Osbourne | Kelly Osbourne | National Failures | Ozzy Osbourne | Sharon Osbourne
The TV Guide Channel (whatever that is) hired Joey Fatone to cover the red carpet at last weekend's SAG Awards, NATURALLY, and he proved that he is now and will forever be your boyfriend. Here he is interviewing James Franco... CONTINUE READING THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND: JOEY FATONE»
Posted on January 27, 2009 in
(14 comments)
Tags: James Franco | Joey Fatone | Milk | National Failures | SAG Awards
A new season of VH1's Rock of Love is starting soon. In a surprising twist of events, they decided that rather than fill an eyesore McMansion with trashy alcoholics who lack boundaries and clothing, they would fill a tour bus... CONTINUE READING ROCK OF LOVE 3: AH HA HUSH THAT FUSS»
Posted on December 11, 2008 in
(7 comments)
Tags: Bonnaroo | Brett Michaels | National Failures | Rock Of Love 3
Soulja Boy is launching a Make Soulja Boy Go Platinum In A Week Project, or something. The extent of the campaign seems to be this impossibly annoying vlog. Because that's how you do it. You don't make good music or... CONTINUE READING SOULJA BOY SOWS THE SEEDS OF HIS OWN DESTRUCTION»
Posted on November 13, 2008 in ,
(11 comments)
Tags: National Failures | Soulja Boy | Vampire Weekend
The mass dumping on Sarah Palin has begun in force. On the one hand, we never like to see someone turned into a scapegoat for an angry mob to vent their impotent fury upon, and on the other hand Sarah... CONTINUE READING LET'S GET OFF SARAH PALINS, I JUST GOT OFF YOURS»
Posted on November 6, 2008 in
(3 comments)
Tags: Election 2008 | National Failures | Sarah Palin
Obviously, Seth MacFarlane is the worst. We already know that. But the AP has an interview with him today, and it's kind of like early in the election when Barack Obama had some momentum and enthusiasm behind his campaign but... CONTINUE READING SETH MACFARLANE STINKS AND SHOULD GO TO STINK JAIL WITH THE OTHER STINKERS»
Posted on November 3, 2008 in
(30 comments)
Tags: Family Guy | National Failures | Paul McCartney | Seth MacFarlane
After a bunch of back and forth over whether or not Britney Spears would perform at the VMAs this year, MTV is now confirming that she will be there. But kind of still not performing. She's going to be doing... CONTINUE READING BRITNEY SPEARS TO DO SOMETHING AT THE VMAS OR SOMETHING»
Posted on September 4, 2008 in ,
(1 comments)
Tags: Britney Spears | National Failures | VMAs
Heidi Montag finally apologizes to her fans and releases the correct version of her "Overdosin'" video (with synched sound and not ten minutes long and everything.) Yay?... CONTINUE READING THE HEIDI MONTAG GENIUS EXPRESS MAKES ANOTHER STOP AT WHOOPS TOWN»
Posted on August 28, 2008 in
(0 comments)
Tags: Death Cab For Cutie | Heidi Montag | National Failures | Overdosin' | St. Vincent
It's bad news for talentless attention vacuums today. First Heidi Montag accidentally releases a 10 minute unsynched video of herself doing slow motion AIRHEADrobics (am I right, guys?) to a song that sounds like it was recorded on a toaster... CONTINUE READING WHAT SHOULD DENISE RICHARDS DO NOW THAT HER SHOW HAS BEEN CANCELED? »
Posted on August 26, 2008 in
(1 comments)
Tags: Children | Coachella | Denise Richards | It's Complicated | National Failures
Earlier this week, I reported on Ruby Tuesday's foray into viral marketing. They placed mildly humorous ads on television claiming that at 3PM on Monday, August 4th, you could watch them demolish the last of the old Ruby Tuesdays live... CONTINUE READING PEOPLE WHO EAT AT RUBY TUESDAYS ARE BORING AND STUPID, SAYS RUBY TUESDAYS»
Posted on August 7, 2008 in
(6 comments)
Tags: National Failures | Ruby Tuesday
On last night's episode of Last Comic Standing, the show that makes doing a Hunt for the Worst Show of All Time egregiously unecessary, something outrageous and unbelievable happened. No, no one told a funny joke. (God, that show is... CONTINUE READING THE 2008 ELECTION IS NOW A CHOICE BETWEEN THE LESSER OF TWO UNFUNNY EVILS»
Posted on August 6, 2008 in ,
(12 comments)
Tags: Academy Awards | Barack Obama | Election 2008 | John McCain | Last Comic Standing | Mickey Rourke | National Failures | Robert Pattinson | Tina Fey | Whoops Ocean
Someone is preparing the most boring TV show of all time, and they want YOU to help them. This posting on Craigslist calling on New Yorkers to share their stories promises that the end result will be worse than your... CONTINUE READING STOP SPREADING THE NEWS»
Posted on July 29, 2008 in
(2 comments)
Tags: National Failures | New York
Dr. Drew, in his relentless pursuit of weird fame, has positioned himself as the perfect point man on a new VH1 reality show that would follow recovering celebrities after they leave Celebrity Rehab and try to put their lives back... CONTINUE READING DR. DREW LOVES BEING A CELEBRITY, HATES OTHER CELEBRITIES»
Posted on July 7, 2008 in ,
(2 comments)
Tags: Celebrity Rehab | Dr. Drew | National Failures
After hitting the top spot for a week, The Bucket List slipped down to number three in DVD sales because everyone started buying Fool's Gold? Warner Home Video's "Fool's Gold" topped the national home video sales and rental charts in... CONTINUE READING WHO'S BUYING ALL THIS FOOL'S GOLD?»
Posted on June 26, 2008 in
(4 comments)
Tags: Fool's Gold | Kate Hudson | Matthew McConaughey | National Failures | The Bucket List
Celebrity Circus, a reality show about sad people trying to become sad clowns premieres tomorrow night on NBC. It promises to be a dark chapter in the growing annals of debased former stars grasping for the powdered trapeze of reality... CONTINUE READING LOOK AT THIS OLD MAN FALL ON HIS OLD FACE!»
Posted on June 10, 2008 in
(3 comments)
Tags: Celebrity Circus | Christopher Knight | National Failures
The new season of The Hills doesn't start until August, but that doesn't mean you can't keep track of everyone's (least) favorite Hollywood Power Saddest Couple Of Emotional Corpses, Plastic Face and Goat Beard, via their new SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE?... CONTINUE READING CONNECT TO YOUR ASSHOLES, AND YOUR ASSHOLES' ASSHOLES»
Posted on June 3, 2008 in
(4 comments)
Tags: Heidi Montag | National Failures | Speidiweb | Spencer Pratt | The Hills
Access Hollywood has an interview with Audrina Patridge on the set of Into the Blue 2. She is the smartest girl ever and when she grows up she's going to be the first female President of Smartistan. At one point... CONTINUE READING AUDRINA PATRIDGE IS MAKE THE WORDS COME OUT LIKE A REAL GIRL»
Posted on May 30, 2008 in
(3 comments)
Tags: Audrina Patridge | Genius Bar | Into The Blue 2 | National Failures | The Hills | Toni Ferrari
I've got a suggestion for David Blaine's next trick. He should see how long he can watch the red band trailer for National Lampoon's Homo-Erectus before he loses motor function and his brain shuts down. I made it through 37... CONTINUE READING NATIONAL LAMPOON'S HOMO-ERECTUS SETS US BACK WAY MORE THAN 10,000 YEARS»
Posted on May 13, 2008 in
(2 comments)
Tags: Adam Rifkin | Ali Larter | National Failures | National Lampoon's Homo-Erectus
