Gossip Girl S03E05: Rufus And Lily Are No Jim And Pam. Also: Sonic Youth?

If there was one week to miss so far this season, it was last week. Hilary Duff? Tyra Banks? Come on. I mean, I know this show is a make-believe dystopian nightmare for children, but one celebrity guest at a... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL S03E05: RUFUS AND LILY ARE NO JIM AND PAM. ALSO: SONIC YOUTH?»

Gossip Girl: Children Take Their Scotch Neat, You Know That

Blair, who uses gloves to turn dormitory door knobs (of course she does), walks in on Dan and Georgina up in each other's gutz. CAUGHT! Dan is like "I was just in here to get a book called Our Bodies... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: CHILDREN TAKE THEIR SCOTCH NEAT, YOU KNOW THAT»

Gossip Girl: The College Years

Whoa. Whatever facts about high school may have been gently fudged during the first two seasons of Gossip Girl (almost all of the facts, covered in fudge), they're going even further with their depiction of college, obliterating generations of human... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: THE COLLEGE YEARS»

Gossip Girl: It's Not A Real Soap Opera Until Someone Gets Amnesia

Wow, the summer really is over. TIME TO LEAVE THE HAMPTONS. Or whatever. Are the Hamptons gauche now? I don't know. TIME TO LEAVE THE MOON. Old money is all about summering on the moon now. Of course, the season... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: IT'S NOT A REAL SOAP OPERA UNTIL SOMEONE GETS AMNESIA»

Piecing Together Gossip Girl Season 3 From These Five Clues

First, your honor, I present the evidence. Article 1: BUT WAIT, DOCTOR JUDGE, THERE IS MORE OF THIS:... CONTINUE READING PIECING TOGETHER GOSSIP GIRL SEASON 3 FROM THESE FIVE CLUES»

Some Predictions For Gossip Girl Season 3

Chuck Bass dips into the Bass fortune to open his own chain of infused-smoothie stores, going head to head with Jambo's Juice (CEO revealed in final episode with cameo by Breckin Meyer). Serena Van Der Woodsen is found decapitated... CONTINUE READING SOME PREDICTIONS FOR GOSSIP GIRL SEASON 3»

Gossip Girl XoXo Summer News XoXo Round-Up XoXo

HELLO UPPER-EASTSIDERS, Just kidding. If you live on the Upper Eastside and you read this blog, thank you for reading and please give me a limousine! But I will not cater to you. The rest of us are down here... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL XOXO SUMMER NEWS XOXO ROUND-UP XOXO»

Gossip Girl: Season Finale

It's graduation time! And that means the end of Gossip Girl, says Serena, who is always right about everything. She's like a Correct Assumptions Factory. Hopefully, Serena says at brunch with Blair, this whole being arrested thing will be the... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: SEASON FINALE»

Gossip Girl: I Hate The '80s

Last week, Nikki Finke reported that the Gossip Girl spin-off about young Lily Rhode's adventures in LA had been canceled before it even began. Actually, Nikki Finke said "put a fork in it. It's done," just to give you a... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: I HATE THE '80S»

Gossip Girl: You Can't Con A Conner

Serena's new boyfriend Gabriel pulled a classic grift (what con artists call the Internet in Africa Oopsie Daisy) and got all of the money. If only Serena had listened to Chuck and Blair's creepy and vague suggestions that something just... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: YOU CAN'T CON A CONNER»

Gossip Girl: The Jews Escaped Egypt For This?

The episode opens in the middle of a My Fair Lady-esque dream sequence in which Blair tries to sell...herself...flowers in a fancy restaurant to pay for school and then is escorted out by Grandfather Archibald because "that dream is over."... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: THE JEWS ESCAPED EGYPT FOR THIS?»

Gossip Girl: Grandfather Can Be Very Persuasive

Vanessa and Dan are heading over to Nate's house to watch some college basketball and talking all about the European vacation Vanessa is planning on taking with Nate this summer. Uh oh. Not two seconds into this week's episode and... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: GRANDFATHER CAN BE VERY PERSUASIVE»

Gossip Girl: All The World Is, Like, Totally A Stage, Or Whatever

YESSSS! It's back! We pick up right where we left off. Dan Humphrey is hooking up with that horrible teacher that at first it was rumored he was hooking up with when he wasn't but then she got fired for... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: ALL THE WORLD IS, LIKE, TOTALLY A STAGE, OR WHATEVER»

Gossip Girl: Short Eyes Wide Shut

Blair has community service because of how she invited the new teacher, Ms. Carr, to the opera as a prank. I really wish they would have shown the scene in which Ms. Carr was forced to explain her side of... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: SHORT EYES WIDE SHUT»

Gossip Girl: It's Not Over Until The Size 4 Lady Sings

It's Yale Day, whatever that is. Have things really changed so much since I went to college? Granted, that was back in 1953, when a woman wouldn't dare to show her ankles, but I remember everyone getting their acceptance letters... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL THE SIZE 4 LADY SINGS»

Gossip Girl: Blood Is More Of An Asshole Than Water

It's time to read Bart Bass's will. Lilly won't be there because she is in Boston with Rufus trying to track down their secret monster adoption nightmare. But Chuck has asked Blair to go with him, and the mysterious new... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: BLOOD IS MORE OF AN ASSHOLE THAN WATER»

How About A SPOILER ALERT On These New Gossip Girl Posters

There's a new series of "provocative" Gossip Girl print ads that are going to definitely make the kids go hmm, just as soon as the kids discover the joys of reading. Each ad features one of the main characters (but... CONTINUE READING HOW ABOUT A SPOILER ALERT ON THESE NEW GOSSIP GIRL POSTERS»

Gossip Girl: Dan And Serena Should Lose Their Suicide Virginity Together

Now that Thanksgiving is out of the way it's going to be a headlong rush through the holiday season and basically it's already 2009. But before we kiss 2008 goodbye forever, since this is such a forgettable year with absolutely... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: DAN AND SERENA SHOULD LOSE THEIR SUICIDE VIRGINITY TOGETHER»

Gossip Girl: Be Thankful I Don't Talk About Serena And Aaron Rose

It's Thanksgiving! As the episode opens we're told that while for most people Thanksgiving is a holiday where families come together and give thanks, on the Upper East Side it returns to its roots of lying, manipulation, and betrayal. POLITICAL.... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: BE THANKFUL I DON'T TALK ABOUT SERENA AND AARON ROSE»

New Gossip Girl Posters Will Not Piss Off Your Parents

Remember the original ads for season 2 of Gossip Girl that showed two kids fucking Like Water for Chocolate style with a salacious quote like "Your Mom's Going To Barf," or "This Show Will Fuck Your Mouth"? Well there's a... CONTINUE READING NEW GOSSIP GIRL POSTERS WILL NOT PISS OFF YOUR PARENTS»

Gossip Girl: Jenny Humphrey Takes The Fashion World By Stupid

OK, so last week Jenny Humphrey quit her job with Eleanor Waldorf and decided to start her own fashion line, and as this week's episode opens Jenny is just putting the finishing touches on a final dress. What? I'm not... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: JENNY HUMPHREY TAKES THE FASHION WORLD BY STUPID»

Gossip Girl: Serena Should Be Given Up For Adoption

Bart Bass is back from Billionaire Island or whatever, so it's time for the Basses and the Van Der Woodsens to become a family. Because Lilly and Bart got married last spring, and you know the rule about when both... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: SERENA SHOULD BE GIVEN UP FOR ADOPTION»

SPOILER ALERT: Jenny Humphrey Will Continue To Be An Asshole

A new Gosip Girl set photo has surfaced in which SPOILER ALERT Jenny Humphrey is kissing Nate Archibald. OMZzzzzz, you guys! Although there is another MAJOR SPOILER if you follow that link. xoxo.... CONTINUE READING SPOILER ALERT: JENNY HUMPHREY WILL CONTINUE TO BE AN ASSHOLE»

Posted on October 17, 2008 in Soap Operas, Spoilers (3 comments)
Tags: Chace Crawford | Gossip Girl | Jenny Humphrey | Nate Archibald | Taylor Momsen

Gossip Girl: Yale Ready For This

This week's episode opens with a dream sequence. It's basically My Fair Lady, with Blair as Eliza Doolittle taking diction lessons from Henry Higgins, who we will later recognize as the dean of Yale, and then Serena walks in and... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: YALE READY FOR THIS»

Gossip Girl: Looks Like The Chuck Bass Has Become The Master

It's the first day back to school, so you know what that means! Actually, I thought I knew what that meant, but I clearly don't. Within the first five minutes of the show both Serena and Jenny Humphrey suggest to... CONTINUE READING GOSSIP GIRL: LOOKS LIKE THE CHUCK BASS HAS BECOME THE MASTER»