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Michael Bay Archives

19 posts


What To Do Between Now And July 1, 2011

Michael Bay has announced on his website that not only will he be shooting a third Transformers movie (FILE UNDER: no doy) with Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf reprising their roles as the two people in the world who understand...  CONTINUE READING WHAT TO DO BETWEEN NOW AND JULY 1, 2011»

Posted on October 2, 2009 in (27 comments)
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What Should Be The Tagline For Bad Boys 3?

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Columbia Pictures has hired a screenwriter to write a script for Bad Boys 3. Great news! That must mean that Rush Hour 4 is already in the bag. So far, neither Will Smith, Martin Lawrence,...  CONTINUE READING WHAT SHOULD BE THE TAGLINE FOR BAD BOYS 3?»

Posted on August 31, 2009 in (83 comments)
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Duh Aficionado Magazine: Michael Bay Belongs In Jail

For so many reasons. But also for this reason: Megan Fox tells the story of their first meeting (via FilmDrunk): The first time I ever met him, I was 15, and I was an extra on Bad Boys 2. We...  CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: MICHAEL BAY BELONGS IN JAIL»

Posted on July 13, 2009 in (42 comments)
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EXCLUSIVE: The Lost Footage Of Megan Fox Washing Michael Bay's Ferrari

All week long, a rumor has been circulating on the Internet that somewhere on the world is a home video of Megan Fox washing Michael Bay's Ferrari. The story would have it that before he cast her in the first...  CONTINUE READING EXCLUSIVE: THE LOST FOOTAGE OF MEGAN FOX WASHING MICHAEL BAY'S FERRARI»

Posted on July 8, 2009 in , , (11 comments)
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Roger Ebert Is Not A Gay Retard

Roger Ebert addresses the haters (of his Transformers 2 review). And as the old saying goes: when you wrestle with the devil, you're gonna get wet with fire....  CONTINUE READING ROGER EBERT IS NOT A GAY RETARD»

Posted on July 6, 2009 in (13 comments)
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The Videogum Movie Club: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

WHAT was THAT? Going into Transformers 2 this weekend, I had every expectation that it was going to be loud, stupid, and very very long. But for the first 30 minutes or so, I was on board. Sure, it was...  CONTINUE READING THE VIDEOGUM MOVIE CLUB: TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN»

Posted on June 29, 2009 in (83 comments)
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Videogum Movie Club Reminder: Transformers 2

It almost seems weird to even have a Videogum Movie Club this week, but we have to do something! What are we going to do, sit around and cry forever? Maybe. But you can cry in movie theaters. They won't...  CONTINUE READING VIDEOGUM MOVIE CLUB REMINDER: TRANSFORMERS 2»

Posted on June 26, 2009 (0 comments)
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Roger Ebert Tears Transformers 2 A New Robo-Butthole

There's a reason he's called Roger Ebest. Read the whole thing. Here....  CONTINUE READING ROGER EBERT TEARS TRANSFORMERS 2 A NEW ROBO-BUTTHOLE»

Posted on June 23, 2009 in (40 comments)
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You Can Make It Up: Michael Bay Has A Brainstorming Session

Michael Bay opened his walk-in bomber jacket closet and looked at the endless racks of bomber jackets. "What'll it be, Chief?" he said to himself. He picked out a dark bomber jacket with crackled leather and put it on. Michael...  CONTINUE READING YOU CAN MAKE IT UP: MICHAEL BAY HAS A BRAINSTORMING SESSION»

Posted on June 18, 2009 in (25 comments)
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Nice Try, Michael Bay

Early reviews of Transformers 2 have been coming out all week, and it seems almost unanimous that this is probably if not the best movie ever made, then at least the most thoughtful and intelligent. Variety gave it four Tweed...  CONTINUE READING NICE TRY, MICHAEL BAY»

Posted on June 17, 2009 in , (38 comments)
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Cheap Trick, Adults, Presumably, Singing The Transformers Theme Song

"OPTIMUUUUUUUS!" --Shia LaBeouf "BUMBLEBEEEEEEEEEEE!" --Shia LaBeouf Oh this movie. With the dancing robots and the over-emoting and the Michael Bay M&Ms and the this song. Are we really doing this? We are? OK. Don't get me wrong, I "get...  CONTINUE READING CHEAP TRICK, ADULTS, PRESUMABLY, SINGING THE TRANSFORMERS THEME SONG»

Posted on June 10, 2009 in (68 comments)
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Michael Bay Is A Total M&M Head

Haha. Look at him! Total M&M head. Legend tells that if you stare into a mirror and say "Candyman" three times Michael Bay will appear and give you a delicious treat (his face?). WHAT IS THIS AD? This ad makes...  CONTINUE READING MICHAEL BAY IS A TOTAL M&M HEAD»

Posted on June 9, 2009 in (38 comments)
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Oh Good, The Transmorphers Sequel, You Guys

Man, super lazy rip-offs are the best rip-offs. So funny. This is even better than last year's The Day The Earth Stopped. If Dreamworks tried to take this movie's producers to court, they would just be like "No way,...  CONTINUE READING OH GOOD, THE TRANSMORPHERS SEQUEL, YOU GUYS»

Posted on June 8, 2009 in (22 comments)
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McG Has A Small Penis In His Chardonnay

So this is how the Great Penis Off of 2009 ends. You may recall that Terminator:Salvation director McG, who despite his name is actually an adult, challenged Transformers 2 director Michael Bay to a penis measuring contest. You know, the...  CONTINUE READING MCG HAS A SMALL PENIS IN HIS CHARDONNAY»

Posted on May 13, 2009 in , (6 comments)
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My Little Pony: The Reign Of Buttercup Sprinkles

In the coming war between humans and My Little Ponys, little girls will be the true victims. "They will be sparkly, they will have wings, they will smell of glitter and cotton candy, but make no mistake, this will be...  CONTINUE READING MY LITTLE PONY: THE REIGN OF BUTTERCUP SPRINKLES»

Posted on May 8, 2009 in , (12 comments)
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Friday Fight: Who Has The Bigger Penis: McG Or Michael Bay?

lindsay: Who do you think actually has a bigger penis, McG or Michael Bay? gabe: hmmm gabe: who do I barf has a bigger barf, barf or barf? gabe: is that your question? lindsay: Someone needs to start this national...  CONTINUE READING FRIDAY FIGHT: WHO HAS THE BIGGER PENIS: MCG OR MICHAEL BAY?»

Posted on May 1, 2009 in , (49 comments)
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Everything That Is Going To Be Wrong With Transformers 2 In One Moment

Transformers 1 was a terrible movie. The opening sequence was pretty exciting, but as soon as they opened their mouths everything went to shit. Shut up, Transformers. And don't even get me started on that scene where they're tiptoeing through...  CONTINUE READING EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING TO BE WRONG WITH TRANSFORMERS 2 IN ONE MOMENT»

Posted on May 1, 2009 in , (43 comments)
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McG Challenges Michael Bay To A Being The Worst Contest

It is already well established that McG is the worst, and that Michael Bay is the worst, independent of each other. But now they are going head to head in a race to see who can be the absolute worst....  CONTINUE READING MCG CHALLENGES MICHAEL BAY TO A BEING THE WORST CONTEST»

Posted on April 29, 2009 in (41 comments)
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Transformers 2 On-Set Footage Is More Boring Than Watching Computers Dry

Some local news footage from the set of the Transformers sequel hit the internet today. It includes shots of helicopters flying (amazing), a factory (whoa!), and interviews with people who saw the first movie and are still willing to see...  CONTINUE READING TRANSFORMERS 2 ON-SET FOOTAGE IS MORE BORING THAN WATCHING COMPUTERS DRY»

Posted on June 3, 2008 in , (1 comments)
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Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.

You Can Make It Up: People Tell Carrie Prejean What An Asshole She Is

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This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.

Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments

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Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.

The Videogum Movie Club: 2012

Uh. OK. Well, first let's address what this movie did well, like the disappointed parents we are (or at least that I am), recognizing that the negative feedback won't be useful or constructive if it isn't preceded by something positive....

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