Who Should Star In The Movie Based On Lauren Conrad's "Book"

So Lauren Conrad, who starred in a reality TV show, "wrote" a "book"* about a girl who stars in a reality TV show, and now she wants to turn that book into a movie about a girl who stars in... CONTINUE READING WHO SHOULD STAR IN THE MOVIE BASED ON LAUREN CONRAD'S "BOOK"»

Posted on July 29, 2009 in Casting Calls (25 comments)
Tags: Books | Jerry Bruckheimer | L.A. Candy | Lauren Conrad

Goodbye To All Of That

The Hills ended last Sunday with a one hour finale in which Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were married, Lauren Conrad "quit" her "job," and Kristen Cavallari showed up as if somehow we were supposed to believe that was a... CONTINUE READING GOODBYE TO ALL OF THAT»

The Hills: Fuck This Show In The Face Until It Dies (Season Finale)

Spencer has changed. Says Spencer. He has breakfast with Heidi's long suffering mom, Darlene, and explains that he's been going to therapy. He's already done the early-20's "sleazy guy thing," he tells the mother of his future wife. But he's... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: FUCK THIS SHOW IN THE FACE UNTIL IT DIES (SEASON FINALE)»

The Hills: Lauren Conrad's Penultimate Attempt At Relevance

Heidi is getting married. To Spencer. Our great national nightmare is almost at its end, just as the long, personal nightmare of the Pratts enters a new phase. Spencer has won the approval of Heidi's "cowboy" father, who has agreed... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: LAUREN CONRAD'S PENULTIMATE ATTEMPT AT RELEVANCE»

The Hills: She'll Always Be Daddy's Little Plastic Faced Sadness Monster

Heidi's dad, no her REAL dad, is coming to visit. And he's bringing his guns. That is what she tells Spencer. "I wouldn't be surprised if he brings his gun." Really? I would. He could be the guy from the... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: SHE'LL ALWAYS BE DADDY'S LITTLE PLASTIC FACED SADNESS MONSTER»

Posted on May 19, 2009 in Hate-Watching (8 comments)
Tags: Audrina Patridge | Heidi Montag | Lauren Conrad | Spencer Pratt | The Hills

Lauren Conrad Is A Terrible Writer

Last September 11th, while the nation was never forgetting, Lauren Conrad announced that she had signed a book deal. WILL THE HORRORS NEVER CEASE? Today, People magazine has an exclusive look at an excerpt from Conrad's first young adult novel... CONTINUE READING LAUREN CONRAD IS A TERRIBLE WRITER»

Posted on May 18, 2009 in Where Are They Now? (11 comments)
Tags: Books | Lauren Conrad | The Hills

The Hills: In This Economy, It's Tough To Find Pretend Work

The economic crisis is affecting everyone. Why, just the other day, there were a bunch of imaginary layoffs at the imaginary company where Audrina Patridge pretends to work, and she was like "OMG, I can hardly make-believe it." She had... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: IN THIS ECONOMY, IT'S TOUGH TO FIND PRETEND WORK»

The Hills: Audrina Patridge And Audrina Hyde

Since Lauren Conrad has said that this is her last season of The Hills, but because MTV has already announced that they're going ahead with a sixth, Lauren-free season, you can see how the producers are already trying to ween... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: AUDRINA PATRIDGE AND AUDRINA HYDE»

MTV Renews A Dead Horse

MTV has confirmed that they will be moving forward with a a sixth season of The Hills without Lauren Conrad. Videogum has confirmed that it will not be moving forward with a sixth season of The Hills without Lauren Conrad.... CONTINUE READING MTV RENEWS A DEAD HORSE»

The Hills: God, Please Take Me Now

Heidi and Spencer got married last weekend. I suppose one could imagine a reality in which The Hills is like a documentary about the Civil War. Sure, you know how it's going to end, but there is so much to... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: GOD, PLEASE TAKE ME NOW»

Lauren Conrad Defies No Expectations

Oh man. Remember how Lauren Conrad is going to be animated into an episode of Family Guy? You remember. There was that day where you kept barfing after hearing that Lauren Conrad is going to be animated into an episode... CONTINUE READING LAUREN CONRAD DEFIES NO EXPECTATIONS»

Posted on April 22, 2009 in Behind The Scenes, Cameos, Cartoons (9 comments)
Tags: Acting! | Family Guy | Lauren Conrad | The Hills

The Hills: "I Feel Like I'm In A Nightmare"

It seems fair to assume that when The Hills first started, the system for creating (and when necessary, recreating) dramatic conflict or narrative arcs was already well established, and while it got more refined over time it is not a... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: "I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A NIGHTMARE"»

The Hills: The Devil Wears People's Revolution

I'm tired. Watching this show is like carrying a dead body over rocky terrain. Not that I have any idea what that's like, and I'd be happy to never actually compare the two experiences. But it's so much useless weight,... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: THE DEVIL WEARS PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION»

Worlds Been Had Colliding: Lauren Conrad On Family Guy Edition

Two wrongs make a superwrong. Lauren Conrad is going to be animated into an episode of Family Guy. Ugh. It's going to be just like the Thomas Pynchon episode of The Simpsons, except instead of being surprising, inventive, and funny,... CONTINUE READING WORLDS BEEN HAD COLLIDING: LAUREN CONRAD ON FAMILY GUY EDITION»

Posted on April 13, 2009 in Cameos, Cartoons (13 comments)
Tags: Family Guy | Lauren Conrad | Seth MacFarlane | The Hills

The Hills: What Doesn't Kill You Almost Kills You

Here we are again, you guys. Standing at the foot of Mount Doom in the heart of Mordor. The only thing wearier than our legs is our hearts. We are unsure if we have what it takes to scale this... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU ALMOST KILLS YOU»

Lauren Conrad Is Leaving The Hills Or: "Too Little, Too Latte"

The good news is that Lauren Conrad has told Seventeen magazine that she is going to quit The Hills after this season. Yessssss! That show can't go on without LC can it? Oh God, can it? The Hills is like... CONTINUE READING LAUREN CONRAD IS LEAVING THE HILLS OR: "TOO LITTLE, TOO LATTE"»

Posted on February 25, 2009 in Interviews (3 comments)
Tags: Finally | Lauren Conrad | The Hills

The Hills Season 5: Really? We're Actually Doing This?

The Hills season 5 preview trailer (via I'mNotObsessed), you guys: No. Since the season 4 finale in December, Barack Obama was sworn in as President, the economy spiraled out of control, and Eastbound and Down changed the television landscape. The... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS SEASON 5: REALLY? WE'RE ACTUALLY DOING THIS?»

The Hills: Marriage Is Between A Goat Man And A Plastic Woman

I cannot tell you how convenient it is that Diane Von Furstenberg offered Whitney the job right before her spin-off reality show The City premieres. Can you imagine how awkward it would have been if she didn't get the job?!... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A GOAT MAN AND A PLASTIC WOMAN»

The Hills: Whitney Has Always Dreamed Of Moving To Spin-Off Show City

Most of this week's episode is a build up to the December 29th premiere of Whitney Port's spin-off series, The City, which is too bad because I would much rather have seen them work in a bunch of build up... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: WHITNEY HAS ALWAYS DREAMED OF MOVING TO SPIN-OFF SHOW CITY»

The Hills: How Many Pratts Does It Take To Fit In A Jail Cell?

If there is one thing in this world that I love without question it is grandmas. They're basically moms, who are great, but even better. Let's give it up for grandmas, everyone. Let them know. But on last night's episode... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: HOW MANY PRATTS DOES IT TAKE TO FIT IN A JAIL CELL?»

The Hills: Lauren Conrad Is A Total The C Word

Audrina was talking to her friend Dino and he totally told her that Lauren hooked up with Justin Bobby, but neither Lauren nor Justin will even talk to her about it, and they're both angry that she's even bringing it... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: LAUREN CONRAD IS A TOTAL THE C WORD»

The Hills: Still With The Heidi And The Job Thing

First of all, Audrina and Justin Bobby are finally getting serious. OMG, can you believe it? After all these yeazzzzzzzzzz. The thing is, Justin likes hanging out down on Venice Beach because it's so zenlike, but when he gets up... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: STILL WITH THE HEIDI AND THE JOB THING»

The Hills Continues To Pretend Heidi Montag Ever Had A Job To Begin With

This week's episode was mostly a big run up to Whitney Port's spin-off, The City. Kelly Cutrone was like "Whitney and Lauren, I need you to come to New York immediately and pretend like you are working so that we... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS CONTINUES TO PRETEND HEIDI MONTAG EVER HAD A JOB TO BEGIN WITH»

Looks Like The Stupid Student Has Become The Stupid Master

There's an article in the NYDN today about Whitney Port's adjustment to life in New York, and what people can look forward to (for lack of a better expression) in her new show, The City. Mostly the article is about...how...busy...Whitney... CONTINUE READING LOOKS LIKE THE STUPID STUDENT HAS BECOME THE STUPID MASTER»

Posted on November 3, 2008 in Behind The Scenes (0 comments)
Tags: Lauren Conrad | The City | The Hills | Whitney Port | Yo La Tengo

The Hills: Pre-Staged Love Will Tear Audrina Apart

This week, Audrina is still hung up on Justin Bobby some more, which actually kind of proves that this show is slightly more "real" than people have been giving it credit for lately. Because if it really was nothing but... CONTINUE READING THE HILLS: PRE-STAGED LOVE WILL TEAR AUDRINA APART»