Did you know that the world will not end in a fiery (and also watery. And also snowy?) Apocalpyse that can only be outrun via limousine in the year 2012? Of course you did. Because everyone knows that. Right?... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: 2012 IS NOT A DOCUMENTARY»
Posted on November 10, 2009 in The New Sadness
(38 comments)
Tags: 2012 | Apocalypse | Idiocracy | NASA
It comes as no surprise that the right is trying to use Obama's win of the Nobel Peace Prize this morning against him. Fair enough! I mean, I don't really understand how that works, but I recognize and understand... CONTINUE READING RUSH LIMBAUGH CALLS WINNING A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE AN EMBARRASSMENT?»
Posted on October 9, 2009 in Politics
(94 comments)
Tags: Barack Obama | Idiocracy | Nobel Prize | Oxycontin | Rush Limbaugh
As was made clear earlier today, there ain't no ring on your finger. YOU HAVE GOT TO PLAY THE FIELD. (Via StreetCarnage.)... CONTINUE READING THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND: SKOALREBEL»
Posted on September 30, 2009 in That's Your Boyfriend
(82 comments)
Tags: Barack Obama | Chewing Tobacco | Idiocracy | Nightmares
Needless to say, this is your essay question: Embedded video from CNN Video Incredible. "If you knocked your brother down, would you urinate in his mouth?" Oh to spend one hour in the living hellscape that is the human mind... CONTINUE READING TEACHER ASKS HER STUDENTS TO WRITE IMPORTANT ESSAY ON SIBLING GOLDEN SHOWERS»
Posted on September 21, 2009 in Creepy
(51 comments)
Tags: Children | Idiocracy | School | Teachers
Like, duh. He is not a very smart person. Them is just FACTS. Oh, he has some strengths. Like, he's very good at making sure that words are constantly coming out of his mouth. Some of those words even come... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: GLENN BECK IS AN IDIOT»
Posted on August 31, 2009 in Newsmagazines
(94 comments)
Tags: Barack Obama | Glenn Beck | Health | Idiocracy
Oh wow. A plastic broom from the dollar store with a flat-edged bottom that stands up straight in a few different places in a room with uneven wood floors? THERE IS ANOTHER WORLD BEHIND THIS WORLD THAT WE CAN'T... CONTINUE READING FANTASTIC MYSTERIES: WHY DO PEOPLE CARE ABOUT THIS BROOM?»
Posted on August 31, 2009 in Local News
(46 comments)
Tags: Brooms | Consignment Stores | Idiocracy | Witches
Actress Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) just killed it on Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? last night. Very impressive. Brawndo gives her the electrolytes her computer brain NEEEEEEDS.... CONTINUE READING PATRICIA HEATON IS THE KING OF THE MATHLETES»
Posted on August 18, 2009 in Game Shows
(9 comments)
Tags: Everybody Loves Raymond | Genius Bar | Idiocracy | Patricia Heaton | Regis Philbin | Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Dear People Who Would Actually Go to a Saw-themed Haunted House, So, I heard about your haunted house. It's going to be at the Circus Circus casino in Las Vegas this October as part of a promotional tie-in with Saw... CONTINUE READING AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY GO TO A SAW-THEMED HAUNTED HOUSE»
Posted on July 28, 2009 in An Open Letter, What America Wants
(34 comments)
Tags: Assholes | Halloween | Haunted Houses | Horror Survival | Idiocracy | Jigsaw | Saw | Saw II | Saw III | Saw IV | Saw V | Saw VI | Saw VII
Man, this guy Jon Gosselin (whoever that is) has awful taste in friends. First he became friends with Christian Audigier, of Ed Hardy, and here he is hanging out with Michael Lohan. With friends like these, who needs nightmares? I... CONTINUE READING OH BOY, WHO SHOULD JON GOSSELIN BE FRIENDS WITH NEXT?»
Posted on July 27, 2009 in Reality TV
(62 comments)
Tags: Ed Hardy | Friendship | Idiocracy | Jon And Kate Plus 8 | Jon Gosselin | Michael Lohan | National Failures
California, the world's third largest economy, is in dire straits. Governor Schwarzenegger has called for 1/4 of the state's budget to be cut in order to deal with a $26 million deficit. Unemployment is at 11.2 percent, nearly two-percent higher... CONTINUE READING A BRAVE CALIFORNIA WOMAN SOLVES ALL THE PROBLEMS»
Posted on July 24, 2009 in Viral Video
(67 comments)
Tags: Brawndo | California | Economic Crisis | Food | Idiocracy
Man, Katherine Heigl is totally your girlfriend. Here, the makers of her new film, The Ugly Truth (which looks great*, btw, you must be very proud), Kristen Smith and Karen McCullah Lutz, talk a little bit about your girlfriend's impressive... CONTINUE READING THAT'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND: KATHERINE HEIGL»
Posted on July 23, 2009 in That's Your Girlfriend
(42 comments)
Tags: Idiocracy | Karen McCullah Lutz | Katherine Heigl | Kristen Smith | The Ugly Truth | Women
Just kidding. Brittny Gastineau looks just as smart as she is, which, again, to reiterate, is zero. Remember when she was acting (not acting) the fool in Bruno? Well that was all just a goof, you guys. Come on! It's... CONTINUE READING BRITTNY GASTINEAU IS SMARTER THAN SHE LOOKS (SHE LOOKS ZERO SMART)»
Posted on July 15, 2009 in Behind The Scenes
(16 comments)
Tags: Brittny Gastineau | Bruno | Idiocracy | Pranks | Sacha Baron Cohen
Lots Of Love! OK, so, the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor began yesterday. Now, as is the tradition in these proceedings, the first day is dedicated to opening statements from each of the senators on the Judiciary... CONTINUE READING GLENN BECK'S BRAIN IS A SOFTBALL»
Posted on July 14, 2009 in Bloopers, Politics
(39 comments)
Tags: Glenn Beck | Idiocracy | nunchucks | Sonia Sotomayor
It's probably been official for awhile, but now it is extra official: America will gobble up any all kind of bullshit as long as you just put some vampires in it. We know this! But now we really know this!... CONTINUE READING AMERICA SAYS, "JUST FUCKING PUT SOME VAMPIRES IN IT"»
Posted on June 16, 2009 in What America Wants
(74 comments)
Tags: HBO | Idiocracy | Ted Leo | True Blood | Vampires
Paris Hilton, a paragon of class, taste, and good decision making skills, has confirmed that she was the original target for the Eminem-Bruno prank at the MTV Movie Awards but she politely declined, because of how she's a lady. From... CONTINUE READING PARIS HILTON WANTS CREDIT FOR ALMOST HAVING BUT NOT HAVING BALLS IN HER FACE (THIS TIME)»
Posted on June 12, 2009 in Awards, Behind The Scenes
(16 comments)
Tags: Bruno | Eminem | Idiocracy | MTV Movie Awards | Paris Hilton | Sacha Baron Cohen
According to TMZ, Jessica Alba is in some trouble because some photos have surfaced of her putting up shark posters? Around Oklahoma City? Late at night? To increase awareness about great white sharks? Because that's something that Oklahoma City knows... CONTINUE READING JESSICA ALBA LIVES EVERY WEEK LIKE IT'S SHARK WEEK»
Posted on June 9, 2009 in Justice
(28 comments)
Tags: Idiocracy | Jessica Alba | Sharks
Have you ever noticed that people get the word "hoax" confused with the words "because I'm stupid." That is constantly happening. Anytime that anyone doesn't really think things through or understand what is happening, it's a hoax. I'm lazy,... CONTINUE READING PEOPLE CONTINUE TO BE CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT THE WORD "HOAX" MEANS»
Posted on June 5, 2009 in Late Night, WebJunk
(16 comments)
Tags: Conan O'Brien | Hoaxes | Idiocracy | Not Hoaxes At All | Super Mario Bros. | The Tonight Show
For the second week in a row, the DVD release of Paul Blart: Mall Cop remains on the top of the sales AND rental charts. America is to Paul Blart: Mall Cop DVDs as Kirstie Alley is to root beer... CONTINUE READING WHO'S BUYING ALL THIS PAUL BLART: MALL COP?»
Posted on June 4, 2009 in DVD
(31 comments)
Tags: Idiocracy | Kevin James | Paul Blart: Mall Cop
[Note: In a recent poll, more Americans said they would want to share a vacation rental home with Kelly Ripa than any other famous person, including the Obamas.] I put my suitcase in my room and headed out to the... CONTINUE READING YOU CAN MAKE IT UP: MY SHARED VACATION RENTAL HOME WITH KELLY RIPA»
Posted on May 28, 2009 in You Can Make It Up
(10 comments)
Tags: Idiocracy | Kelly Ripa | Summertime
McG is really bad at his job as a movie director, and he should be fired (from Hollywood). Also, he has a small penis. These are just FACTS. America was kind enough to give him another chance last weekend with... CONTINUE READING HOW TO MAKE MCG LOOK LIKE HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING»
Posted on May 27, 2009 in Interviews
(5 comments)
Tags: Idiocracy | Lava | McG | Terminator: Salvation
Man, I drove a rental car this weekend, you guys. That's right, A RENTAL CAR. Ballin'. Driving is great. It's weird that no one ever drives and everyone in America is so insistent on walking and riding bikes all the... CONTINUE READING THE ULTIMATE ARGUMENT SETTLER: THE 5 BEST WORST PARALLEL PARKING VIDEOS OF ALL TIME»
Posted on May 27, 2009 in The Ultimate Argument Settler
(19 comments)
Tags: Cars | Idiocracy
There's a story in the New York Post this morning about Paula Abdul's run-in with Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno. Apparently, she was interviewed for the movie, and I will give you zero guesses as to whether or not she figured... CONTINUE READING PAULA ABDUL OFFICIALLY THE LOWEST HANGING FRUIT»
Posted on April 30, 2009 in Behind The Scenes, Bloopers, Interviews
(14 comments)
Tags: Bruno | Girl Talk | Idiocracy | Paula Abdul | Sacha Baron Cohen
This is from 2006, but it doesn't seem to have gotten much play: an actual ad that ran on TV in defense of our "friend" Carbon Dioxide. It's spit-take-inducingly funny, but I swear, I researched it, and it's not by... CONTINUE READING CARBON DIOXIDE STRIKES BACK WITH ITS OWN AD»
Posted on February 17, 2009 in Corporate Videos, Creepy
(6 comments)
Tags: Carbon Dioxide | Idiocracy | Method Man
As a marketing stunt for the Ben Stiller comedy Tropic Thunder, Paramount has licensed a fake energy drink that appears in the movie, Booty Sweat, to go into actual production. Reports AdAge: Riffing on Hollywood's often ham-handed product-placement deals, Booty... CONTINUE READING BLOWING THE LID OFF OF THE "BOOTY SWEAT" CONSPIRACY»
Posted on June 27, 2008 in Feuds, Viral Marketing
(5 comments)
Tags: Booty Sweat | Brawndo | Idiocracy | Racism | Tropic Thunder
By now, we've all heard how Heidi and Spencer went to the White House Correspondents Dinner despite earlier reports that they'd turned down MSNBC's offer (they ended up at Fortune's table). That's the news I'm using as an excuse to... CONTINUE READING WHO DO YOU WANT ANSWERING THE BLACKBERRY TEXT AT 3AM?»
Posted on April 28, 2008 in Politics
(1 comments)
Tags: Election 2008 | Heidi Montag | Idiocracy | Spencer Pratt
Carrie Prejean turned the video camera off, put on some clothes, and stepped out of her house. It was a beautiful day outside. The air smelled like apples, and the late morning light hit the world in just such a...
MORE »
If you are a sassy and sarcastic young man in an American sitcom who represents the sitcom writer's desire that a nerdy Jewish teenager can somehow be the desirable romantic hero in this world, then eventually you will get a...
MORE »
I shouldn't even be here right now. I SHOULD BE GETTING INTO MY COSTUME! If I don't hurry, my facepaint won't be dry before I get to the MOONVIE theater, and everyone will be like "hahah, you look like you're...
MORE »
The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
MORE »
Uh. OK. Well, first let's address what this movie did well, like the disappointed parents we are (or at least that I am), recognizing that the negative feedback won't be useful or constructive if it isn't preceded by something positive....
MORE »
