She Nourished The Inner Aspect

A woman chose to live her life by the laws of Goop for some reason. Blogging ensues. I'm sure Meryl Streep is going to be amazing in Rebecca & Gwyneth.... CONTINUE READING SHE NOURISHED THE INNER ASPECT»

Posted on September 11, 2009 in Bad Idea Jeans (4 comments)
Tags: Goop | Gwyneth Paltrow

Tyra Banks Wants To Be The Black Gwyneth Paltrow

It's not like people didn't know that Tyra Banks was ridiculous and awful. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating everything in the medicine cabinet, but have you seen her facial expressions when she's... CONTINUE READING TYRA BANKS WANTS TO BE THE BLACK GWYNETH PALTROW»

Posted on September 8, 2009 in Bad Idea Jeans (22 comments)
Tags: Goop | Gwyneth Paltrow | Lifestyle Website Industry | Tyra Banks

Finally, A Gwyneth Paltrow Roast Chicken Parody Video

Fun Fact: Abby Elliott, from Saturday Night Live, actually did a Gwyneth Paltrow impersonation as part of her Saturday Night Live audition tape. It's true. What I'm saying is that this parody of the Gwyneth Paltrow roast chicken video is... CONTINUE READING FINALLY, A GWYNETH PALTROW ROAST CHICKEN PARODY VIDEO»

Gwyneth Paltrow Narrowly Wrests Her Title Of "The Worst" Back From Katherine Heigl

These two ladies are really going blow for blow these days. "I'm the worst!" "No, I am the worst!" Stop, you're both incredibly awful! Is it possible to have a Mexican stand-off with just two people? Let's try! I heard... CONTINUE READING GWYNETH PALTROW NARROWLY WRESTS HER TITLE OF "THE WORST" BACK FROM KATHERINE HEIGL»

Posted on July 31, 2009 in Fake Feuds (61 comments)
Tags: Animal Collective | Goop | Gwyneth Paltrow | Katherine Heigl

Who Wore It Worse?

Gwyenth Paltrow's head vs. Kate Gosselin's head: everyone loses.... CONTINUE READING WHO WORE IT WORSE?»

Posted on July 28, 2009 in Everyone's A Critic, Fake Feuds (22 comments)
Tags: Gwyneth Paltrow | Hair | Kate Gosselin

Built Stark Towers, Throw The Biggest Events/Got Liquid, Armor, I Can Paint All Dents

And so it begins. Viral marketing website for Stark Industries. Iron Man II comes out in just one billion more months! ... CONTINUE READING BUILT STARK TOWERS, THROW THE BIGGEST EVENTS/GOT LIQUID, ARMOR, I CAN PAINT ALL DENTS»

Gwyneth Paltrow's Recipe For Roasted Chicken

First off, you're going to want to start with one completely over-inflated sense of self-importance that allows for the belief that you should show people how to cook something for some reason even though you don't need to do that... CONTINUE READING GWYNETH PALTROW'S RECIPE FOR ROASTED CHICKEN»

Posted on July 23, 2009 in Instructional Videos (92 comments)
Tags: Chicken | Goop | Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow Would Like You To Know About Her Bowel Movements

From the latest issue of Goop (via GoldenFiddlr), you guys: Doo Doo. Perfect. She probably wrote this one herself because she didn't trust her ghostwriter to get the tone right. Nailed it. I'm not entirely clear on the difference between... CONTINUE READING GWYNETH PALTROW WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW ABOUT HER BOWEL MOVEMENTS»

Posted on July 9, 2009 in Oh, Yuck! (30 comments)
Tags: Assholes | Goop | Gwyneth Paltrow | Toilets

BREAKING NEWS: Gwyneth Paltrow Likes Spain!

Since Videogum first began, not a day has gone by without an email from a concerned tipster wondering whether or not Gwyneth Paltrow likes Spain. Most of the emails are frantically written and in ALL CAPS. Messages such as "DOES... CONTINUE READING BREAKING NEWS: GWYNETH PALTROW LIKES SPAIN!»

Posted on July 1, 2009 in Celebrity Gossip! (39 comments)
Tags: Assholes | Goop | Gwyneth Paltrow | Spain

What Is Your Gwyneth Paltrow Name?

Gwyneth Paltroooooowwwwwwww! Killing it! Everything she does is perfect. Wait, what did I say? Everything she does is retarded? Perfect. From her latest issue of Goop: The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and... CONTINUE READING WHAT IS YOUR GWYNETH PALTROW NAME?»

Posted on June 11, 2009 in Drinking Games (91 comments)
Tags: Billy Joel | Goop | Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow Is As Awful In Person As She Is As An Abstract Concept

I hate Gwyneth Paltrow. As far as I'm concerned she's the aging bourgeois equivalent of Heidi and Spencer. Self-satisfied, detached from the world outside of her "clean" bubble, outrageously entitled, and overly confident in her planetary value. One could argue... CONTINUE READING GWYNETH PALTROW IS AS AWFUL IN PERSON AS SHE IS AS AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT»

Did Any '80s Celebrity Not Have An "I'm Better Than You" Video?

Okay, WHAT IS WITH all these videos of famous women in the '80s demonstrating their beauty routines, taking bubble baths, and smugly demonstrating their fabulousness under the guise of "helping" others? First, there was Vanna White's terribly smug instructions on... CONTINUE READING DID ANY '80S CELEBRITY NOT HAVE AN "I'M BETTER THAN YOU" VIDEO?»

Posted on June 1, 2009 in Video Skeletons (14 comments)
Tags: Angela Lansbury | Donna Mills | Gwyneth Paltrow | Vanna White

You Can Make It Up: Gwyneth Paltrow Nourishes Her Inner Aspect

Gwyneth Paltrow stirred. A lilac scented breeze pushed gently at the diaphanous curtains of her castle aerie (two servants stood beneath her castle window, one waving a giant palm frond as the other squeezed a bulb of artisanal lilac oil... CONTINUE READING YOU CAN MAKE IT UP: GWYNETH PALTROW NOURISHES HER INNER ASPECT»

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn't Know What She Is Talking About

Gwyneth Paltrow is a self-absorbed idiot who's completely disconnected from any rational sense of what the world is like for people who are not movie stars that own castles. And her lifestyle website is a piece of shit. Those are... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: GWYNETH PALTROW DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT»

Posted on May 20, 2009 in Backlashes (9 comments)
Tags: Goop | Gwyneth Paltrow | Hindu

Gwyneth Paltrow Will Not Rest Until Everyone Hates Her

Earlier this week, the New York Times ran an article about Gwynnie P and her website Goop, raising all of the obvious questions, like "huh?" and "why?" and "isn't this what an asshole does?" Actually, the article itself isn't really... CONTINUE READING GWYNETH PALTROW WILL NOT REST UNTIL EVERYONE HATES HER»

Posted on February 26, 2009 in Backlashes (14 comments)
Tags: Gwyneth Paltrow

Friday Fight: Who Is Your Celebrity Valentine?

[NOTE: this week's fight includes one blurry NSFW image.] gabe: who is your celebrity valentine? lindsay: Usually it's Paul Rudd, but this year I'm shaking things up lindsay: I can't decide between Jon Hamm and Jason Segel gabe: you've got... CONTINUE READING FRIDAY FIGHT: WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY VALENTINE?»

Angela Lansbury's Video Kicks Vanna White's Video's Smug Little Ass

Well, apparently there was something in the 1980s where famous women made videos instructing normal women on how to take care of their bodies, and we just need to accept it for the strange thing it is and enjoy the... CONTINUE READING ANGELA LANSBURY'S VIDEO KICKS VANNA WHITE'S VIDEO'S SMUG LITTLE ASS»

Posted on February 4, 2009 in Video Skeletons, Viral Video (14 comments)
Tags: Angela Lansbury | Gwyneth Paltrow | Vanna White

Whoops, Gwyneth Paltrow Googles Herself

Gwyneth Paltrow is the reason revolutions happen. At a certain point, the poor are like "wait a second, I may not be able to afford food and medicine, but I am definitely able to afford torches, and violent outrage." She... CONTINUE READING WHOOPS, GWYNETH PALTROW GOOGLES HERSELF»

Posted on February 3, 2009 in Where Are They Now? (27 comments)
Tags: Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Opening A Fucking Gym?

She is going to pump...you up (with your own vomit).... CONTINUE READING GWYNETH PALTROW IS OPENING A FUCKING GYM?»

Posted on January 14, 2009 in Bad Idea Jeans, Celebrity Gossip! (3 comments)
Tags: Exercise | Gwyneth Paltrow

New Year, Same Gwyneth

Gwyneth Paltrow's New Year's Resolution is to never quit being such an insufferable asshole. ... CONTINUE READING NEW YEAR, SAME GWYNETH»

Posted on January 7, 2009 in Backlashes (18 comments)
Tags: Gwyneth Paltrow

Vanna White Was The Original Gwyneth Paltrow

Vanna White wants you to look at yourself nude in a full-length mirror and ask yourself if you like what you see. Vanna White wants to know if you're having fun dieting. She sure is! You can even have Mexican... CONTINUE READING VANNA WHITE WAS THE ORIGINAL GWYNETH PALTROW»

Posted on December 12, 2008 in Video Skeletons (6 comments)
Tags: Animal Collective | Gwyneth Paltrow | Vanna White

Gwyneth Paltrow Dances With Clowns

Gwyneth Paltrow is just "a mother of two from Britain" so when she got the call from a handbag company called Tod's asking her to star in this new 7-minute-long commercial directed by Dennis Hopper, she was probably like "Will... CONTINUE READING GWYNETH PALTROW DANCES WITH CLOWNS»

Posted on October 6, 2008 in Commercials (3 comments)
Tags: Dennis Hopper | Gwyneth Paltrow | Tods

Gwyneth Paltrow Has No Idea What Gwyneth Paltrow Looks Like To People Who Are Not Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow has launched a lifestyles website called goop.com. FINE. I'm not the boss of the internet. You do what you want, Gwyneth Paltrow. You start a website nobody needs and give it a name nobody likes. NOT MY PROBLEM.... CONTINUE READING GWYNETH PALTROW HAS NO IDEA WHAT GWYNETH PALTROW LOOKS LIKE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT GWYNETH PALTROW»

Posted on September 23, 2008 in Backlashes (8 comments)
Tags: Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow And Mario Batali Are Winos Together

Gwyneth Paltrow was on Oprah this afternoon promoting how perfect her life is and the cooking book she co-wrote with chef Mario Batali. At the very end, Gwyneth showed Oprah her favorite cooking accessory, a vacuum thing that keeps wine... CONTINUE READING GWYNETH PALTROW AND MARIO BATALI ARE WINOS TOGETHER»

Posted on September 17, 2008 in Daytime Talk Shows (7 comments)
Tags: Gwyneth Paltrow | Mario Batali | Oprah

Wine And Cheese The Vote

While I think we can all agree that it's important for people to exercise their democratic right to vote, and to participate fully in the civic process that governs our lives, I'm pretty sure this Gwyneth Paltrow ad about absentee... CONTINUE READING WINE AND CHEESE THE VOTE»

Posted on August 4, 2008 in Politics (4 comments)
Tags: Election 2008 | Gwyneth Paltrow | Kanye West