Thousands of young Americans enter film school every year with the hope of making the next Citizen Kane (but this time, "Rosebud" is a pair of rollerblades!). Most of them, of course, won't succeed as directors, and will eventually find... CONTINUE READING KIDS MAKE AMAZING VIDEOS STARRING THEIR DOLLS SINGING ABOUT BURRITOS THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on November 5, 2009 in , ,
(41 comments)
Tags: Awesome | Awww | Burritos | Children | Dolls | Lunch
Speaking of children's movies, Hollywood has greenlit The Berenstain Bears: The Movie. Hopefully they go Where the Wild Things Are with it, and make it really dark and sad. Children crying. Nightmares.... CONTINUE READING THE BERENSTAIN BEARS: THE MOVIE»
Posted on November 3, 2009 in
(43 comments)
Tags: Children | The Berenstain Bears
No diggity! You got to bag it up! Cool dudes and neat chicks who are all unique snowflakes, I know that more than budding young men and women we're all just human beings on this planet who are 100 percent... CONTINUE READING VIDEOGUM'S TEEN KORNER: TOO MANY "SAD" STORIES»
Posted on October 30, 2009 in
(58 comments)
Tags: Children | Internet Memes | The Flaming Lips
Never. How much is a page cost? Where do you turn the key? Is there a safety-harness? Now I am Interneting! These things are the best, and due to the frantic, rapid-paced-evolution of the Internet, we will have an endless... CONTINUE READING OLD VIDEOS EXPLAINING HOW TO USE AN INTERNET THAT NO LONGER EXISTS WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY»
Posted on October 21, 2009 in
(57 comments)
Tags: Children | Cool Dudes | Internet 1.0 | The Flaming Lips
Look, we can sit here all day talking about how the properties of "feminine wash" and the properties of shampoo are not actually that different, because industrialized hygiene products are all variations on the same combination of perfumed oils... CONTINUE READING KIDS WASH THEIR HAIR WITH "VAGINA WASH" THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on October 21, 2009 in
(28 comments)
Tags: Children | Hygiene | The Flaming Lips
The boy from the balloon, Falcon Heene, was in the attic the whole time! Uh oh! I mean, on the one hand, GREAT NEWS. The first thing that everyone in America wants is for Falcon Heene to be safe and... CONTINUE READING FALCON HEENE WAS IN THE ATTIC, AND NOW HE IS PUKING ON TV»
Posted on October 16, 2009 in
(55 comments)
Tags: Balloons | Children | Falcon Heene | Hoaxes | Richard Heene
I don't have any idea what this even is. Surprisingly, all of the YouTube comments on this video in the past couple of hours have been nothing but thoughtful and full of respect. Or the exact opposite. (Thanks for... CONTINUE READING FINE, THE FALCON HEENE "PUSSIFICATION" MUSIC VIDEO»
Posted on October 15, 2009 in
(39 comments)
Tags: Balloons | Children | Disasters | Fake Rap | Falcon Heene | Nightmares
Wait a second, there was no boy in the balloon? Jesus Christ. He could be anywhere! Sort of. Depending on how you define "be." This is awful. Now what are we supposed to do? Also the family had been on... CONTINUE READING UH, NOW WHAT?»
Posted on October 15, 2009 in
(64 comments)
Tags: Balloons | Children | Nightmares | Yikes
Everyone is watching this livefeed video about a SMALL BOY flying through the air in a FUCKING ALIEN BALLOON right? Just making sure. ... CONTINUE READING BUBBLE BOY 2: FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR»
Posted on October 15, 2009 in
(21 comments)
Tags: Balloons | Children | Nightmares | Yikes
I'm not sure that the personal and public health ramifications of deep frying butter under any circumstances (county fair or no) are worth the injurious risk to both this little boy and the world at large in return for... CONTINUE READING KIDS DANCE FOR DEEP FRIED BUTTER THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on October 15, 2009 in
(26 comments)
Tags: Butter | Children | Dancing
The results of the Kate Gosselin Halloween Costume Fan Fiction contest are in! The winning entry was featured as a You Can Make It Up guest columnist -- which you can read here. The runners up, in no particular... CONTINUE READING THE KATE GOSSELIN HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST SEMI-FINALISTS»
Posted on October 15, 2009
(0 comments)
Tags: Children | Fan Fiction | Halloween | Jon And Kate Plus 8 | Jon Gosselin | Kate Gosselin | Kate Plus 8
Zachary is the best, and I would not be surprised if he gets a call from Hollywood soon asking him to do all of the soundtracks for everything. Seriously, move over John Williams. Your time has passed. It's Zachary's... CONTINUE READING KIDS MAKE INCREDIBLE, MILDLY DEPRESSING DOCUMENTARIES THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on October 13, 2009 in
(30 comments)
Tags: Children | Work
Tooth Fairy trailer, you guys: I know that some things just aren't made for me, like, I'm clearly not the intended audience. I know that, of course I know that. So it makes sense that, say, the Sex and the... CONTINUE READING DON'T ALL RUN TO FANDANGO YOUR TOOTH FAIRY TICKETS AT ONCE!»
Posted on October 12, 2009 in
(38 comments)
Tags: Billy Crystal | Children | Dwayne Johnson | The Rock | Tooth Fairy
Oh, Hollywood. Is it the endlessly pleasant weather? Is that what seems to sap all of the ideas from your brains? You would think that with all of your legendary (and conversation-generating) traffic, that you would have some time to... CONTINUE READING WHAT MOVIE SHOULD DISNEY MAKE AFTER OPPOSITE DAY?»
Posted on October 9, 2009 in
(47 comments)
Tags: Children | Disney | Opposite Day
All your dreams are finally coming true, girls. A full-length, major motion picture featuring your favorite hero on a wonderful adventure. Probably. "Barbie has to destroy the All-Spark by shoving it into Ken's mouth after a drawn-out shape-shifting battle on... CONTINUE READING HOLLYWOOD IS DEVELOPING A BARBIE MOVIE, LADIES!»
Posted on September 24, 2009 in
(25 comments)
Tags: Barbie | Children | Girls | Movie Adaptations | Toys
Needless to say, this is your essay question: Embedded video from CNN Video Incredible. "If you knocked your brother down, would you urinate in his mouth?" Oh to spend one hour in the living hellscape that is the human mind... CONTINUE READING TEACHER ASKS HER STUDENTS TO WRITE IMPORTANT ESSAY ON SIBLING GOLDEN SHOWERS»
Posted on September 21, 2009 in
(51 comments)
Tags: Children | Idiocracy | School | Teachers
Check out the movie poster for Dwayne Johnson's new movie, Tooth Fairy. Very powerful stuff. I'm sure members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences see this poster and are like "honey, pass me my ballot. I'm submitting... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: DWAYNE JOHNSON IS STILL "THE ROCK"»
Posted on September 21, 2009 in
(28 comments)
Tags: Children | Dwayne Johnson | Hockey | The Rock | Tooth Fairy
This is a very important Public Service Announcement, obviously, and all American children should have to memorize these 11 types of strangers, as well as the exact scripted thing that they say each time (any deviation from the script... CONTINUE READING THE 15 TYPES OF STRANGERS»
Posted on September 18, 2009 in
(63 comments)
Tags: Children | Rape | Strangers
This is my favorite thing in a long time. These kids aren't idiots, they know. Sometimes you just have to get out there and have some fun no matter what. Just wash away the cares of the day. "This game... CONTINUE READING KIDS TEACH US THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING FUN THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on September 16, 2009 in
(25 comments)
Tags: Children | Funtimes | Hide And Seek
This little girl's parents are really shooting the moon in their efforts to make the cover of this month's Negligent Parent Magazine. Not only do they imply that they have raised their child to gleefully eat her pets, but... CONTINUE READING KIDS EAT THEIR PETS THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on September 15, 2009 in
(25 comments)
Tags: Awww | Children | Pets
A particular psychological experiment developed in the 1960s involving children and marshmallows has become quite popular lately. It was featured in a non-broadcast podcast episode of RadioLab*, and it was recently the subject of a New Yorker article. The experiment... CONTINUE READING KIDS PARTICIPATE IN MEANINGFUL PSYCHOLOGICAL STUDIES THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on September 14, 2009 in
(55 comments)
Tags: Children | Marshmallows
It's very hard to have sympathy for people on reality TV because it's 2009, and we all know what the rules are at this point. Perhaps in an earlier time, let's say in a pre-Joe Millionaire world, it might have... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: REALITY TV DESTROYS LIVES»
Posted on September 11, 2009 in , , ,
(22 comments)
Tags: Andy Cohen | Boo! | Bravo | Children | NYC Prep
Oh babies. With their malleable approach to language and their fixation on the minute bodily functions that govern their day-to-day lives. Of course, within the blink of history's eye, these little angels will be sitting on a ratted out... CONTINUE READING KIDS HAVE EUPHEMISMS FOR PEEPING AND POOPING THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on September 10, 2009 in
(24 comments)
Tags: Children | Pee | Sesame Street | Toilets
"7th grader Melissa Bell gives a tender account of meeting Ashton Kutcher at a school dance." Self-insertion slash fiction is always best when it is written by children.... CONTINUE READING OPERATION WATCH THIS: ASHTON KUTCHER EROTIC FAN FICTION»
Posted on August 31, 2009 in ,
(16 comments)
Tags: Ashton Kutcher | Children | Sex
Whoa. David goes to the bacon dentist. The fact that he keeps calling a grown woman a "little girl" is some pretty heavily-coded (or lightly-coded?) racist shit, but everything else that comes out of this kid's mouth is basically gold.... CONTINUE READING KIDS RUN AWAY FROM HOME OVER A BACON DISPUTE THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on August 28, 2009 in
(42 comments)
Tags: Assholes | Bacon | Children | Wife Swap
