Uh, we know that you can transform the ladies, Chris Brown. Especially in the face. You just ball your hands up into fists and you turn regular faces into heavily punched faces. And then you run away into the... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: CHRIS BROWN CAN TRANSFORM YA, LADIES»
Posted on October 27, 2009 in Music Related Content
(31 comments)
Tags: Cars | Chris Brown | Rihanna | Violence
Action movies are basically children's movies for adults. That is to say that they are expressly designed to hit very specific pleasure centers to generate a predictable and uniform reaction. Bad action movies, like bad children's movies, are rarely open... CONTINUE READING THE HUNT FOR THE WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME: GONE IN 60 SECONDS»
Posted on October 26, 2009 in The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time
(110 comments)
Tags: Angelina Jolie | Cars | Giovanni Ribisi | Gone In 60 Seconds | Nicolas Cage | Timothy Olyphant
As a 57-year-old man who spends most of his weekends sitting on his porch with a rifle laid across his lap throwing stones at passersby as practice for later so that in my actual retirement it will look like I... CONTINUE READING THE HUNT FOR THE WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME: GRAN TORINO»
Posted on September 28, 2009 in The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time
(200 comments)
Tags: Asian People | Cars | Clint Eastwood | Gran Torino | Racism | White People
The last time I wrote about Jay Leno a bunch of people rushed to his defense like an enraged pack of Mrs. Lenos. Relax, you guys. Jay Leno has over one million dollars, twice as many fans, and an... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: JAY LENO DOES NOT SAVE LIVES»
Posted on August 28, 2009 in Hospital, Viral Marketing
(33 comments)
Tags: Cars | Health | Jay Leno | The Jay Leno Show
Oh no, Frankie Muniz has been hurt! In a race car accident! From MTV Movies Blog: A few weeks ago, he tweeted that he'd broken his wrist during a race. Then he tweeted this last Friday: "Update on my hand...... CONTINUE READING GET WELL SOON, FRANKIE MUNIZ!»
Posted on August 26, 2009 in Hospital
(23 comments)
Tags: Cars | Frankie Muniz | Hands | Health
Jay Leno gripped the wheel of the affordable Saturn Aura sports sedan so tightly that his knuckles went as white as the exterior finish, and he could feel the skin of his palms wearing away to blisters. Perhaps he should... CONTINUE READING YOU CAN MAKE IT UP: JAY LENO DRIVES A SATURN AURA SPORTS SEDAN»
Posted on August 20, 2009 in You Can Make It Up
(24 comments)
Tags: Cars | Jay Leno
Dear Mr. Leno, Needless to say (as if that is even an expression that makes any sense, since it precedes saying the thing. Sometimes people just like to use more words, I guess) I am not looking forward to your... CONTINUE READING AN OPEN LETTER TO JAY LENO»
Posted on August 18, 2009 in An Open Letter, Late Night
(53 comments)
Tags: Cars | Jay Leno | Jerry Seinfeld | Rich People | The Jay Leno Show
Look at this little baller. He is very precocious when it comes to just barely not killing everyone that loves him.... CONTINUE READING CHILDREN DRIVE SUVS AT 40MPH WITH THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY IN THE BACKSEAT THE DARNDEST THINGS»
Posted on August 5, 2009 in Caught On Tape
(17 comments)
Tags: Cars | Children
"He's really smart," you always tell your friends. "Like, he's corny and goofy, but it's actually because he's so smart." He and his friends will get together and set things on fire and pee off of railroad bridges into the... CONTINUE READING THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND: GUY WHO PAYS FOR IMPOUNDED CAR WITH PENNIES»
Posted on August 3, 2009 in That's Your Boyfriend
(74 comments)
Tags: C.R.E.A.M. | Cars
Mr. Chi-City gets his whip game proper. Models, cars, rims, sounds, it's all good.... CONTINUE READING YOU CAN PIMP YOUR CHEVY CAPRICE AND IT AIN'T BUTTER»
Posted on August 3, 2009 in Vlogging
(2 comments)
Tags: Cars | Mr. Chi-City
A 10-minute long spoof of Gray Gardens starring some dude as Little Edie, and the whole thing is somehow supposed to be a viral ad for Ford Fiesta. Yuck. I'm pulverized by this latest thing. ... CONTINUE READING PERHAPS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN»
Posted on July 17, 2009 in Parodies, Viral Marketing
(3 comments)
Tags: Cars | Ford | Gray Gardens
It continues! Perhaps the most pernicious thing about fake rap is its ability to turn every fake rapper into the Fake Rap Poster Boy. (How do we kill it?!) There has never been a single fake rap that has been... CONTINUE READING IN CASE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THE MOVEMENT TO END FAKE RAP»
Posted on July 8, 2009 in Parodies, Petitions
(16 comments)
Tags: Cars | Fake Rap
A mechanic named Ferris took a customer's Jaguar out for a joyride. Lincoln had a secretary named Cameron.... CONTINUE READING YOU REALIZE IF WE PLAYED BY THE RULES RIGHT NOW WE'D BE IN GYM? »
Posted on July 8, 2009 in Fan Art
(2 comments)
Tags: Cars | Ferris Bueller's Day Off | Matthew Brodderick
From The Hangover. For their car. Nice. But it is now only a matter of time before someone makes a window decal of Calvin peeing on the "Wolfpack Speech." Because this is AMERICA! These truck nutz don't run!... CONTINUE READING SOMEONE MADE A WINDOW DECAL OF ZACH GALIFIANAKIS'S "WOLFPACK SPEECH"»
Posted on July 6, 2009 in Dream Merch
(3 comments)
Tags: Cars | The Hangover | Zach Galifianakis
Homer Simpson is one of the "celebrity" voices that you can buy for your Tom Tom personal GPS device. What a weird thing to have. It costs $12.95, and then you can pretend like a fictional buffoon who is terrible... CONTINUE READING HOMER SIMPSON WANT YOU TO GO TO THERE»
Posted on June 18, 2009 in Dream Merch
(24 comments)
Tags: Cars | Homer Simpson | The Simpsons
Man, I drove a rental car this weekend, you guys. That's right, A RENTAL CAR. Ballin'. Driving is great. It's weird that no one ever drives and everyone in America is so insistent on walking and riding bikes all the... CONTINUE READING THE ULTIMATE ARGUMENT SETTLER: THE 5 BEST WORST PARALLEL PARKING VIDEOS OF ALL TIME»
Posted on May 27, 2009 in The Ultimate Argument Settler
(19 comments)
Tags: Cars | Idiocracy
This unbelievable 1985 commercial for the Plymouth Duster starring Finola Hughes and every '80s cliche except the Rubik's Cube has just completely blown my mind. We cannot parody the '80s. The people of the '80s did it all first, in... CONTINUE READING THE 1985 PLYMOUTH DUSTER COMMERCIAL IS OFFICIALLY THE MOST '80S THING EVER»
Posted on May 18, 2009 in Commercials, Video Skeletons
(26 comments)
Tags: Cars | Duster | Finola Hughes | Plymouth
At the time of writing this post, this video only has 11 views, so there hasn't been enough time for the colorful YouTube commenter community to provide insightful commentary. Therefore, I have made some up. Slider_69: this is so... CONTINUE READING OPERATION WATCH THIS: ANDY RICHTER NISSAN COMMERCIAL»
Posted on March 10, 2009 in Operation Watch This
(6 comments)
Tags: Andy Richter | Cars | YouTube Commenters
This ad for a '90s concept car called The Stinger, "the car of the future," gets funnier and funnier as the voice-over guy describes its features in an increasingly manic tone, and as you realize that whoever created this car... CONTINUE READING REMEMBER WHEN THE FUTURE WAS GOING TO BE ABOUT USING TOOLS ON THE BEACH?»
Posted on February 24, 2009 in Commercials, Video Skeletons
(21 comments)
Tags: Cars | Daft Punk
Carrie Prejean turned the video camera off, put on some clothes, and stepped out of her house. It was a beautiful day outside. The air smelled like apples, and the late morning light hit the world in just such a...
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If you are a sassy and sarcastic young man in an American sitcom who represents the sitcom writer's desire that a nerdy Jewish teenager can somehow be the desirable romantic hero in this world, then eventually you will get a...
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I shouldn't even be here right now. I SHOULD BE GETTING INTO MY COSTUME! If I don't hurry, my facepaint won't be dry before I get to the MOONVIE theater, and everyone will be like "hahah, you look like you're...
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The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
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Uh. OK. Well, first let's address what this movie did well, like the disappointed parents we are (or at least that I am), recognizing that the negative feedback won't be useful or constructive if it isn't preceded by something positive....
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