Gordon Ramsay got plastic surgery. Fine. But he did it on the advice of Simon Cowell? I thought only teenage girls took what that guy said seriously. (Sometimes TOO seriously.)... CONTINUE READING PROFESSOR FACES OVER HERE»
Posted on October 27, 2009 in
(17 comments)
Tags: Advice | American Idol | Gordon Ramsay | Health | Hell's Kitchen | Plastic Surgery | Simon Cowell
I don't watch American Idol. For one thing, I am 102 years old. What is there for me in American Idol? Is there medicine in it? How about a comfortable place to sit away from the window because it's too... CONTINUE READING SIMON COWELL TO END LAZY GAY JOKES IN HONOR OF GAY WOMAN»
Posted on October 19, 2009 in
(25 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Ellen Degeneres | Homophobia | Homosexuality | Randy Jackson | Ryan Seacrest | Simon Cowell | Yuck
Have you ever had something taken away that you didn't even know was yours to begin with? It's a strange feeling. There's loss and remorse, but loss and remorse over what? Loss and remorse over what might have been! That's... CONTINUE READING OH, AMERICAN IDOL ARCADE GAME, WE HARDLY/NEVER KNEW YOU»
Posted on October 8, 2009 in
(26 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Kara DioGuardi | Karaoke | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell
As you may have heard, Ellen Degeneres, America's sweetheart, made a pretty big announcement on her show yesterday: Whoops. That isn't it. Don't get me wrong, Ellen Degeneres playing mother nature in some stupid movie is really exciting (not really... CONTINUE READING ELLEN DEGENERES'S BIG ANNOUNCEMENT»
Posted on September 10, 2009 in , ,
(28 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Ellen Degeneres | Paula Abdul
Paula Abdul, whoever that is, is leaving American Idol, whatever that is. Just kidding. I know who Paula Abdul is. She's the lady who popped out of the ink well on Scat Cat's song. And I've heard of American Idol.... CONTINUE READING PAULA ABDUL LEAVES AMERICAN IDOL IN TYPICALLY POOR FASHION»
Posted on August 5, 2009 in
(34 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Girl Talk | Goodbyes | Paula Abdul | Twitter
Ryan Seacrest re-upped his American Idol contract for 45 MILLION dollars this weekend (perfectly reasonable). America responds, appropriately, with a barrage of casually tossed-off Dunkleman jokes on Twitter. ... CONTINUE READING #DUNKLEMAN»
Posted on July 13, 2009 in
(1 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Brian Dunkleman | C.R.E.A.M. | Ryan Seacrest
Simon Cowell is renegotiating his American Idol contract this week, and rumors are starting to circulate about how much he is going to make. Last year he made $36 million for making teenagers feel bad about themselves (something that most... CONTINUE READING SIMON COWELL GETS PAID THE EXACT RIGHT AMOUNT»
Posted on June 30, 2009 in
(9 comments)
Tags: American Idol | C.R.E.A.M. | Simon Cowell
gabe: i cannot believe that adam lambert lost American Idol gabe: since he is the person that i have arbitrarily decided to have been rooting for lindsay: adam lambert did not get as many votes as my person, "Kris Allen."... CONTINUE READING FRIDAY FIGHT: TWO PEOPLE WHO DON'T WATCH AMERICAN IDOL FIGHT ABOUT AMERICAN IDOL AGAIN»
Posted on May 22, 2009 in ,
(20 comments)
Tags: Adam Lambert | American Idol | Kris Allen | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell
American Idol is "one of the most popular shows on American television." --Wikipedia So then what was Steve Martin doing on last night's season finale playing the banjo? Who wants this? Do you want this? Even your mom doesn't want... CONTINUE READING HOW LONG WILL AMERICA CONTINUE TO INDULGE STEVE MARTIN'S BANJO PLAYING?»
Posted on May 21, 2009 in ,
(36 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Banjo | Steve Martin
According to an Adam McKay blog post on Funny or Die, Will Ferrell was scheduled to sing a song on last night's American Idol, but at the last minute they pulled the bit. Because of how that show is serious... CONTINUE READING AMERICAN IDOL IS A JOKE»
Posted on May 21, 2009 in
(2 comments)
Tags: Adam McKay | American Idol | Will Ferrell
Paula Abdul does a fucking ton of drugs. We know that. But now we really know it, because she's admitting it. From People: "I could have killed myself," Abdul, 46, tells Ladies' Home Journal in its June issue. "Withdrawal -... CONTINUE READING DUH AFICIONADO MAGAZINE: PAULA ABDUL IS ADDICTED TO DRUGS»
Posted on May 6, 2009 in
(26 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Drugs | Paula Abdul
Because Quentin Tarantino was a "mentor" to the contestants on American Idol last night, whatever that means, some new footage from his upcoming Inglourious Basterds aired. Sure. Of course new Inglourious Basterds footage aired during what is basically a children's... CONTINUE READING INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS SNACKE PROVIEW»
Posted on April 15, 2009 in
(17 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Inglourious Basterds | Mike Myers | Quentin Tarantino
Wait a second, Quentin Tarantino is going to make a guest appearance on American Idol AGAIN? As in THIS HAS ALREADY HAPPENED? It is totally fair and legitimate to fire me, but unfortunately you cannot, because I quit. Then again,... CONTINUE READING OVERRATED VAMPIRE BULLY TO REAPPEAR ON AMERICAN IDOL»
Posted on April 9, 2009 in
(12 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Quentin Tarantino
On Law And Order: SVU this week, the guys took their chance to get in an unexpected dig at Ryan Seacrest. Well, better late than never: I just imagine all these older people in their easy chairs being like "That... CONTINUE READING LAW AND ORDER: SVU'S BIG RYAN SEACREST ZINGER»
Posted on April 2, 2009 in
(8 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Christopher Meloni | Law And Order: SVU | Ryan Seacrest
American Idol is stupid. Bob Odenkirk and Natasha Leggero's Funny Or Die series, American Contestant, is not. The point of American Contestant is to impress the judges with your ability to ask to go to Hollywood, because life is just... CONTINUE READING OPERATION WATCH THIS: BOB ODENKIRK'S AMERICAN CONTESTANT»
Posted on March 19, 2009 in ,
(5 comments)
Tags: American Contestant | American Idol | Bob Odenkirk
Well, everyone's favorite show, American Idol, is about to become everyone's favorite outmoded novelty product. From the AP: "Idol" production company FremantleMedia and trading card publisher Upper Deck are launching a new line of trading cards featuring images of past... CONTINUE READING AMERICAN IDOL TO LAUNCH LINE OF UNWANTED ANTIQUATED GARBAGE»
Posted on March 17, 2009 in
(3 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Ryan Seacrest | Simon Cowell | The Other Idol Judge?
So, there was some "hilarity" this week when American Idol decided to create a top 13 of finalists rather than the customary top 12. SOME RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN. The thing is, the 1-800 numbers for people (people... CONTINUE READING OH PHEW, THE AMERICAN IDOL NON-EMERGENCY IS OVER»
Posted on March 10, 2009 in ,
(10 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Ryan Seacrest | Simon Cowell | The Other Idol Judge?
Date: February 17th Time: 8PM Location: American Idol Couch Description: Contestant provides the TWSS. Host (Ryan Seacrest) is awkward and does not know how to react. Assumes all of America is thinking TWSS. Classic case of drawing attention to TWSS... CONTINUE READING THE TWSS ARCHIVES: THE AMERICAN IDOL COUCH MOMENT»
Posted on February 18, 2009 in
(7 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Ryan Seacrest | TWSS Archives
A tipster who watches American Idol alerted us to George Ramirez, the bearded, earnest (or is he?), honest American Idol contestant from Tuesday's show. The show was clearly trying to paint George as an odd nerd who didn't belong there,... CONTINUE READING GEORGE THE PHYSICS MAJOR HUMILIATES THE AMERICAN IDOL JUDGES»
Posted on January 29, 2009 in ,
(20 comments)
Tags: American Idol | George Ramirez | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell
(A note about American Idol: this kind of shit is the only American Idol shit we're going to cover. Meaning: "funny shit." So if you see something, say something.) Well American Idol premiered last night, and a pretty cool-seeming blind... CONTINUE READING AMERICAN IDOL: RYAN SEACREST TRIES TO HIGH-FIVE A BLIND GUY»
Posted on January 14, 2009 in
(9 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Ryan Seacrest
Which hasn't and will never happen, but this would be exactly it. In fact, Tina would even be wearing this shirt and this amused, yet really uncomfortable, smile: It's not as good as The Tragic Events Of May 21, 2008,... CONTINUE READING THIS GIRL MEETING DAVID ARCHULETA IS ME MEETING TINA FEY»
Posted on December 1, 2008 in ,
(5 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Arctic Monkeys | Crying | David Archuleta | David Cook
Best Video 4evs. (via Unique Daily) It's easy to laugh at the "misfortune" that's plaguing these girls and chalk it up to the inflamed emotional state of pubescent enthusiasms, but I can say with absolute certainty that there would be... CONTINUE READING NEVER FORGET THE TRAGIC EVENTS OF MAY 21, 2008»
Posted on November 20, 2008 in
(19 comments)
Tags: American Idol | David Archuleta | David Cook | Election 2008
All day, the gossip has been unfolding about the woman found dead in her car outside of Paula Abdul's house last night of an apparent suicide. As more and more details have made into the press, the sadder and sadder... CONTINUE READING AMERICAN IDOL IS A MURDERER»
Posted on November 12, 2008 in ,
(28 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Paula Abdul | Paula Goodspeed | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell | Vampire Weekend
BREAKING NEWS today on the American Idol front. They're adding a fourth judge! NEW YORK - Scoot over, Simon Cowell. "American Idol" is adding a fourth critic to its panel of judges. Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi will sit alongside Cowell,... CONTINUE READING KARA DIOGUARDI JOINING AMERICAN IDOL AS FIRST NON-ADDLED FEMALE JUDGE»
Posted on August 25, 2008 in , ,
(0 comments)
Tags: American Idol | Kara DioGuardi | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell
gabe: did you watch the american idol finale? lindsay: No gabe: me neither lindsay: who won? gabe: david cook. lindsay: boo! archuleta should have won! gabe: no way, david cook totally deserved to win gabe: did you hear him sing?... CONTINUE READING FRIDAY FIGHT: WHO SHOULD HAVE WON AMERICAN IDOL ACCORDING TO TWO PEOPLE WHO DON'T WATCH IT»
Posted on May 23, 2008 in
(11 comments)
Tags: American Idol | David Archuleta | David Cook | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell