I’m never impressed with people’s revisionist history arguments that suggest there was some previously halcyon period in our collective past that was better than the world we live in now. The steady march of progress is literally that, and we are always in a better place than we used to be, full stop. This doesn’t mean there aren’t bumps in the road, but in terms of overall quality of life, social well-being, human rights, and cetra, we are doing better now as a whole than we have ever done before. Maybe you like the way suits on Mad Men look and you wish you could get drunk at lunch, or something, but never forget how racist, homophobic, misogynistic, violent, and terrifying the world was in comparison to the way it is now, which is still pretty racist, homophobic, misogynistic, violent, and terrifying. The point is: we have to keep hanging in there, guys, one foot in front of the other. That being said, I do actually think the world as a whole was just a little bit better, a little softer, and kinder, and more generous, and thoughtful, yesterday, before this fucking video came out and got us way off track.

I wasn’t the best at science in high school and in college the two science classes I took were a non-difficult space themed class and then a class about weather forecasting (I love college) so I think I either just missed out on this entirely or learned it and forgot, but: What happens when you put fire near an emergency sprinkler system? Just like…I guess I don’t really need the science behind it or whatever, because I’m not sure I’d understand it anyway and I don’t want to waste any more of your time, but can you just give me an explanation of what happens when you do it? Paint the scene, maybe. Or is it a thing that you can’t really explain unless you tell me why it’s happening? If it’s that sort of a thing then I’d definitely welcome an explanation, if you have time! If I were to guess I’d say that the emergency sprinkler system maybe sets off some sparks and shuts down or something, but it’s NOT dangerous or anything. Is that right? I’m just guessing but I think it’s an educated guess — or at least as educated as it can be, with my background. Haha. But, so, am I close?
Catherine is a new web series directed by Dean Fleischer-Camp, starring Jenny Slate. You can watch episodes one, two, and three right this second.

When Hollywood movie star men speak about the problems they’ve encountered with unwanted sexualization or attention paid to certain parts of their bodies, or the demand for a certain look in order to get work, their complaints are usually met with an eye roll, rolling in the direction of how much more difficult it is for women in the same profession, and then the eyeballs roll right out onto the dirtiest part of the floor, and they keep rolling, rolling, until they find their way onto the street where they roll away forever. Goodbye, eyeballs! WE’LL MISS YOU! Though, in situations like that, the kinder among us are able to give the Mr. Hollywoods a bit of leeway, as it is I’m sure hard out there for everyone, and everyone is entitled to recount their own miserable experience — that’s why Yahoo.Tumblr.com exists — and he at least didn’t straight up say that it is MORE difficult for men, and he– oops yes he did. Take it away, Vin Diesel in your perfect interview with Men’s Fitness (via FilmDrunk)!:
The “Fast & Furious 6″ star opens up about body image in the latest issue of Men’s Fitness, where he also addresses how his muscular frame has affected the movies he’s been offered.
“Hollywood is more concerned about its male actors being in shape than its female actors,” he continues.

I started listening to this TED talks podcast that NPR puts together. It’s OK, I guess. Basically, they pick a theme, like “What’s Up, Creativity,” or “Check Out Space” and pull clips from multiple TED talks that touch upon this theme, and then the hosts will go on to do side interviews with some of the TED presenters. I say it’s OK for two reasons: one, because sometimes I would like to just hear someone’s full presentation instead of four disjointed minute surrounded by a lot of uninformative chit chat, and second, because it kind of feels like they’re trying to be RadioLab, and I love RadioLab, but we already have a RadioLab, so let’s have this be something different maybe! ANYWAYS, I was listening to this one episode last week and they were talking about the universal experience of “shame,” which exists in every culture, and how shame is the overwhelming fear of being unworthy of human connection, which I thought was a really interesting way of phrasing it. That everyone basically has, or has at least had at some point, something in their life that caused them shame, which was a moment or attribute that they felt, if discovered, would cause them to be denied human connection, that they would be considered to “alien” or “less than” to get the one thing we all need. What the doctor lady then went on to explain was that one of the major solutions/work-arounds for shame was simply being open to one’s own vulnerability, and finding strength in your weakness. Something like that. What the doctor lady did NOT explain is what happens when you do such a good job leaning into and accepting your own vulnerability that you flip your shame inside out and make an entire video about overcoming your hatred of your own asshole. WHAT THEN, DOCTOR?!

- Larry David looks different in this image from HBO’s new film Clear History. Kind of like Jon Hamm? Maybe it’s just me, but I think the face is kind of Jon Hammish. JK! I know which one is which. You can watch a teaser trailer for the movie, too! -EW
- Wack Wednesday came on Wack Monday this week — tell me about it — and you can now watch The Lonely Island’s new video for “Diaper Money”! Oh, great! -TheLonelyIsland
- Big news for your 2015 calendars: Michael Fassbender’s Assassin’s Creed, based on the video game series you have either probably watched people play or have played yourself, will be released in the summer of 2015. -/Film
- The Bling Ring made Paris Hilton cry. -NextMovie
- SPEAKING OF THE BLING RING, I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this here before, but you can watch the entire season of Pretty Wild on Netflix Instant and I watched the whole thing and it is absolutely perfect. Please watch it. -Netflix
- Finally, we have our Celebrity Apprentice winner! Ugggh we’ve been waiting so long for this moment! -Zap2It

If it were any Saturday Night Live episode other than the season finale, during which we would say goodbye to Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, and possibly Jason Sudeikis, the fact that Ben Affleck seemed way-way nervous and way-way bad at reading cue cards, especially for a fifth-timer, would have been much more distracting. But who cares! GOODBYE, STEFON! HELLO, AMY POEHLER! WHY SO SERIOUS, KANYE, JUST KIDDING, PRETEND I DIDN’T ASK, YOU DO YOU! GOODBYE, IAN RUBBISH, I FEEL LIKE WE JUST MET! MUMBLE MUMBLE JASON SUDEIKIS MUMBLE! The evening was packed with ways to distract us from Affleck’s mediocre performance and sprinkled with sketches that would have been enjoyable even if it weren’t such a big night. Hader and Armisen’s sendoffs weren’t quite as plainly emotional as Kristen Wiig’s at the end of last season, but each were better for it — Hader’s seeing Stefon end up with his one true love, and Armisen’s seeing Armisen continue to half-live out his dream of being a musician through sketches. (Hello, J Mascis, Carrie Brownstein, Kim Gordon, Aimee Mann, and Steve Jones!) It was a good episode! Let’s look at some highlights.
























