This is a picture of Khloe Kardashian posing with her dentist, Kevin B. Sands, after he installed (is that the right word?) Invisalign braces in the reality star’s face. VERY COOL! We get to enjoy this photo because THE DENTIST TWEETED IT. What fun. What? You’ve never been to the dentist or something? You’ve never posed for a picture with your dentist in overblown gold light for the express purpose of his own self-promotion on social media? (He also slips in a reference to how much he enjoys taking care of Lamar’s teeth as well, because you only get one shot, mom’s spaghetti.) Look, we all have to get some money or else we are stealing apples in the street like poor little Aladdin and look how that turned out! And lord knows, Khloe ain’t mind. “Excuse me, this is embarrassing, but would you mind if I got a–” and when you look up, she is gone, but there is a glossy 8×10″ in your hand signed “To , Love Khloe.” If you look closely enough, everyone’s name is scrawled in different hand writing and different colored pen on all of her photos. It is funny how the way it used to work was if a dentist or restaurant or some kind of functional business came into contact with a celeb on a regular basis, they might eventually screw up the courage to ask for a signed headshot that they could put on their wall, to let current and existing customers know that they too were part of a successful enterprise. The mild palpitations and palm sweat that come with any proximity to fame is the engine that drives this country. But that exchange now seems quaint. How on Earth are you going to LET THE WORLD KNOW with your framed photograph? No, it’s gotta be viral. We gotta go big with this one. Khloe and Lamar? The fuck outta here. PUT IT ON-LINE THAT IS WHERE THE KIDS ARE, LET THEM KNOW WHO IS THE COOLEST DDS IN TOWN. Neat world. Cool world. Excited just to be alive long enough to see it.
- Fred Armisen is leaving Saturday Night Live as well! Nooooooo! ALL OUR BOYS! (Jason Sudeikis is also probably going to leave.) -Splitsider
- Zach Galifianakis appeared on Conan last night and talked about his decision to quit drinking. Does he mean quit drinking everything? Even water? Click 2 find out! -TeamCoco
- P. Diddy (Puff Daddy) has been Tweeting about how he is the new cast member on Downton Abbey all week, which PBS denied, but as it turns out he was telling the truth! Congratulations, P.! -FunnyOrDie
- I don’t know about you, but I just cannot get enough Amy and Samy Bouzaglo from Kitchen Nightmares‘s Amy’s Bakery. I just love these guys. The sweetest! -Dlisted
- An Australian reporter (the one that the Internet loves?) (you know him) got a coworker to say a goof on TV. PRANK’D! -Hypervocal
- And, finally, here is a supercut of people shouting “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” -NextMovie
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Phew. Okay. Breathe. I’m sorry to alarm you with this video of a ghost so early in the morning. Please, if you haven’t finished your coffee yet, I urge you to do so before clicking through to the evidence of paranormal activity at Exmouth Rugby Club. If you have a gulp of coffee in your mouth currently, do swallow it or empty your mouth into a garbage can. DO NOT SPIT THE COFFEE AT YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN. While this evidence of some form of life after death will shock you and change your life and also the way you think about death, it is not worth ruining a computer monitor. “I don’t believe in ghosts, though, so probably I’ll just leave the coffee in my mouth and see what happens,” you might be thinking, and I hardly even want to help you out, you seem like a goddamn foolish jerk, but please I MUST urge you once again to do what needs to be done with the coffee currently in your mouth. Maybe put it back into your coffee cup? Whatever you want to do. Place one hand firmly in front of your face so you may cover your eyes if necessary and let’s WATCH THIS GHOST!
Baby girl sang in ca-a-a-a-ar todaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! (Via ViralViral.)
How was your day today? From here it seems like it was pretty fine! At least the part that I saw — you got to try Google Glass for an Engaget video, after your popular Google Glass “Weekend Update” segment appeared on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago, and that’s not too shabby. Though I don’t know, hah, maybe filming videos like that isn’t too fun? I’ve never done anything like that. Like, maybe it’s difficult coming up with something to say, especially since it seems like you were really stretching for something nice to — Wait. THIS ISN’T MY EMAIL TO FRED ARMISEN! LOL! Hahahahahah. Ahhh. So fun. Still LOLing over here. You LOLing? Take a second to LOL it out. PHEW. Ok, but, so, Fred Armisen did try Google Glass for an Engaget video and it is a pretty good video because it goes almost exactly like his “Weekend Update” segment went two weeks ago or whenever it was. That product doesn’t look like it works too well, at the moment! When we all buy it, we’ll just have to convince ourselves it’s more for the look than for the actual use. We will look so cute, though, so it won’t even matter. Ok videotime!
- Want to read about a bet Steven Spielberg made with George Lucas about Star Wars? It sounds like snoozeville to me but if you’re interested in being so upset about the amount of money a person has (the bet is about money) (kind of), READ ON! -/Film
- “Ellie Kemper Asks: Can Men Be Funny?” -GQ
- Ben Affleck is hosting this weekend’s season finale of Saturday Night Live, and you can watch the promos if you want to! -NBC
- The entire ninth and final season of How I Met Your Mother will take place in the hours before Barney and Robin’s wedding. Sounds, ah…I don’t know! It certainly sounds! -TVLine
- Netflix Streaming’s traffic is up 35% from last year. POP CHAMPAGNE! What are you wearing to the party later? At your friend’s house? To celebrate? I’m wearing a fancy gown. -FilmDrunk
- No doy Seamless has a page for Bluth’s Frozen Banana Stand. It’s ON THE INTERNET. Helloooooo. Wake up. -Hypervocal
- AHHHHHHHH! Julianne Moore’s toes! -Dlisted
If you know anyone who is more planet than Ahmed Angel, I doubt it. Show your work! (Via @thegynomite.)
We have a special treat for you today: Not one, but TWO videos of animals watching movies! Hahahah. I know in the realm of treats that is possibly one of the least exciting you could get, but in the realm of The Petting Zoo Top 10 Video Countdown I think it’s safe to say that it is pretty much on par with other kinds of treats you could get. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT! (Please take it!) You’re also going to get a lot of other great animal video treats, as you always do, and at least one of them is going to make you very jealous. What else? It’s raining out. I know half of what you come here for every week is the weather report for the afternoon in the place where I live, so that’s what it is. Rainy! And it’s only supposed to get worse later! Bring a raincoat if you’re leaving your apartment and live near me, unless you ARE me, in which case you’re out of luck because I don’t have one! OK LET’S WATCH THE ANIMAL VIDEOS NOW, LET’S GO!