50 Cent On The Tonight Show • 50 Cent finally breaks his legendary silence about his relationship with the Internet's Sexman. And more.

Comments (5) latest by Asa Phelps

I'm Not Sure What Is Happening In This Movie, But I Can't Wait To Find Out!

Wapakman trailer, you guys:

If "I want to go to there" didn't feel like such a tired reference, I'd probably use it. I...SEE..YOUR...MILKSHAKE...ON DVD. (Thanks for the tip, Andrew and Richard.)

Posted by Gabe at 1:45 PM in Trailer
Tags: Wapakman | WTF?

Comments (35) latest by caringiscool

Charlie Sheen Wants To Give You $$$ To Pretend He Is Normal

Do you guys remember Charlie Sheen's bonkers 9/11 fan fiction? Of course you do. Because you printed it out and bound it in leather, and embossed the cover with gold-leaf lettering that reads "Most Important Fiction." That shit was insane, though. Everyone knows that. Doctors were like "Let me give you my diagnosis for free just this once, because I would feel bad taking your money to tell you the obvious: he is a crazy person." Well now he wants you to pretend like he's not a crazy person for the chance to win $14,000 (basically the most money ever, probably) by making a video in which you DRAMATIZE the fan fiction's purported conversation between CHARLIE SHEEN and BARACK OBAMA on the subject of the government's (conspiracy-theorist-endorsed) failure in investigating the true causes behind 9/11! One lucky winner will get $14,000 and the pride of knowing they at least tried to legitimize Charlie Sheen's apparent mental illness!

This is a real thing that is happening! And people be submittin'! Here are a couple of my favorites (SO FAR! I don't want to count out any late entries):

Continue reading Charlie Sheen Wants To Give You $$$ To Pretend He Is Normal...

Posted by Gabe at 1:00 PM in Contests, Fan Art
Tags: Barack Obama | Charlie Sheen | Fan Fiction | September 11th | Yikes

Comments (51) latest by The New Sound

thirtysomething: Therapy

[Ed. note: In the New York Times a couple weeks ago, there was an article about the much-anticipated DVD release of thirtysomething, a "groundbreaking" (not my word) television drama from the late '80s. By most measures, the show was not a huge success (according to that article, its highest ratings were during the first 15 minutes of a premiere), but it was a critical darling, and "thirtysomething" is now a word in the dictionary. But most importantly: when it came out, as far as I was concerned, it was a stupid-boring show for old people. Except that now I am one of those old people. And so, out of some misguided sense of curiosity, over the next few weeks, I will be recapping the first season of thirtysomething here. 2009, you guys. Anything can happen. There is no spoon.]

Continue reading thirtysomething: Therapy...

Comments (7) latest by hotspur

The First 10 Minutes Of The Carter • I've heard nothing but great things about this documentary, and it looks like there's a reason for that.

Comments (10) latest by stephencrocker

NSFW: A Pornographer Wants To Make A Jaycee Dugard Movie, Because Of Course He Does

If the publishing industry were not imploding right now, I would probably walk right into Graydon Wenner's office and pitch him an idea for adding UGH Aficionado magazine to Guy Snoozehouse's illustrious line of Condor Nash publications. "I've already got the first cover story," I would say. From the AP (via HuffingtonPost*):

SAN FRANCISCO - A spokeswoman for Jaycee Dugard says only Dugard and her family should decide when and if a film is made based on the 18 years she spent with the man charged with kidnapping her.
The statement came after Shane Ryan -- the director of low-budget horror movies such as "Amateur Porn Star Killer" and "Romance Road Killers" -- announced that he expected to start production next month on "Abducted Girl, An American Sex Slave."

Ryan told Sacramento television station KCRA that he wants to focus on the relationship between Dugard and Phillip Garido, the man charged with abducting, raping and holding her captive in his backyard.

Oh, is that what he wants to focus on? The relationship between a brainwashed young woman and her rapist kidnapper? We're gonna need a bigger pair of Bad Idea Jeans! Do you guys remember the part in 2012 when the world was destroyed? That was pretty smart. And something tells me that this pornographer does not have the one billion Euros necessary to purchase safe-passage aboard the government's A.R.K.S. I'm not saying that he needs to die, I'm just saying if everyone dies he doesn't need to be saved. There's a difference!

*I love that the HuffingtonPost has the appropriately disgusted and dismayed reaction to this news story--as they should, we are all only human--but then still manage to post a "Who Should Play Jaycee?" poll for their readers. COOL POLL, GUYS!

Comments (27) latest by dUb-iLL

That's Your Boyfriend: Nick

It's not unusual in a relationship for one person in the relationship to not get along with the other's friends as much as the other person in the relationship might like. And sure, it can be difficult to inherit a group of strangers and be expected to immediately form a meaningful bond with them based solely on the fact that you have a meaningful bond with someone that they know. But you must at least recognize, as a caring participant in a meaningful relationship, how important these friends are to your loved one, and how your effort to get along with his or her friends is actually a demonstration of your effort in the relationship. And if you still find yourself having trouble establishing a relationship with your boyfriend's or girlfriend's friends, then find a quiet, subtle way to excuse yourself from uncomfortable situations. What you should NOT do is constantly make fun of them for being a machine and insisting it's not even possible to be friends with a machine anyway when clearly it IS possible since some of us are friends with him and maybe even best friends. And don't roll your stupid eyes, or make snide remarks about the machine's weight as if that is any of your business, and definitely don't break them completely by tampering with their voltage regulator override circuit buttons on the back of their heads. Now your boyfriend's or girlfriend's friends don't even remember how to BE friends, much less any of their nice songs about God. Thanks a lot, Nick. Maybe you should spend a little less time on stiltedly ruining everything, and a little more time focusing on building that giant pile of broken wood (?).

What do you even see in him? Besides the hair?

P.S. Flippy and Floppy are also your boyfriends.

Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in That's Your Boyfriend
Tags: Computers | Jerks

Comments (52) latest by sorryicecream

November 17, 2009

The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Twilight: New Moon

We've all had a lot of fun looking at photos from yesterday's Twilight: New Moon premiere. Some might say the most fun ever. Although if you hear someone saying that, ask them to stop, and tell them that they don't know what fun even is. But it's hardly fair for me to get all of the glory (INCREDIBLE GLORY!) with my hilarious (SO HILARIOUS!) photo captions. So now it is your turn! What could Kristen Stewart possibly be thinking in this photo? I don't know! That is what your captions are for. Hahaha. Sometimes life is just TOO good, right, you guys? Leave your captions in the comments, and the winner will receive a special shout out in this week's Monsters' Ball (WOW! What an amazing prize! I should probably check with our lawyers and make sure we can afford this!).

Good luck. And remember, the most important thing is that you guys just have fun with it. Probably. There might be something more important but I can't think of it right now! I'm too overwhelmed with excitement for this great movie!