Rip Torn's eyes would barely open and his face was a ravaged, haggard, stubbly mess. His chapped lips stuck together, and the pavement had left a red, mottled impression against his cheek. He looked…   Read Story »

Kirstie Alley was so nervous that her palms were sweating. Of course, Kirstie Alley's palms were always sweating, but she could tell that this time they were sweating because she was nervous, not…   Read Story »

Scott Baio walked into a bar. "Hey," the bartender said, "we don't serve your kind here." "This is America, pal!" Scott Baio said. As if what the bartender had said was, "Hey, this isn't…   Read Story »

Conan stood in the sunlight, his ginger hair holding strong against the wind. Blow as it may, his hair remained in place. Only the vent flaps of his tasteful blue blazer, and the push of his trousers…   Read Story »

John Travolta did not like riding his motorcycle behind Tim Allen because of the flatulence. It wasn't Tim Allen's fault, and John Travolta was respectful of that. Plenty of men had difficulty with…   Read Story »

All of the guidos and guidettes gathered around the menorah. Well, no. All of the guidos and guidettes were upstairs in the bathroom, blowing out their hair, or tanning in the tanning beds that they…   Read Story »

James Lipton, the man, the genius, the legend, considered himself in the mirror. Was this the face of a man who had changed the world with nothing but his innate curiosity? Apparently it was so! But…   Read Story »

Carrie Prejean turned the video camera off, put on some clothes, and stepped out of her house. It was a beautiful day outside. The air smelled like apples, and the late morning light hit the world in…   Read Story »

The Terminator trudged along the wooded path towards the lake, his gun dangling by his side, the taunts still ringing in his hypersensitive bionic ears. He stared at the ground as he walked, and…   Read Story »

David Spade emerged from his hot tub after a brief but relaxing 9-hour soak. He put on his $10,000 Billy Mays costume, complete with a button-down blue shirt owned by Billy Mays himself, exhumed from…   Read Story »