Find Me On:
This is clearly Kevin Bacon doing his Walter White impression, reading The Onion article by Nicolas Cage:
“What happened about a miscarried child?” clearly belongs on the Bernard Pivot questionnaire, and must of course transition from there to Inside The Actor’s Studio.
“John Goodman, what happened about a miscarried child?”
Are we sure this wasn’t a parent-planned child-punishment, a la Battle Royale? Because that’s exactly what this sounds like, only it’s watered-down for American audiences.
He’s the child, I’m the sitter.
What I like about this ad is that it’s by teenz, for teenz! So I know they’re speaking my language, you know? I feel like I could talk to these peers about anything, even the Sugarhill Gang (parents don’t get it).
He’ll fuckin, he’ll fucking sew your asshole closed and keep FEEDING you, and FEEDING you, and FEEDING you.
What will it take to get him his own The Hills spinoff? How many videos must we make?
But where is HER honorary doctorate, Mr. Harvard? Could every college be part of the coverup for not yet giving her a PhD in FACTS?
“Where’s my seat, E?”
“Uh, I dunno, Vince. Let me check with Ari. (Dials) Ari, where’s Vince sitting?”
“The FUCK should I know his seat number. E, you’re terrible at your job. LLOYD!”
“Hey, bro, come down in coach. I found our seats.”
“Coach? What am I, poor?”
“Can I pilot the plane?”
I think the other available joke is that Kanye will tell Taylor, during sex, that Beyonce is better. At sex. And it will be true in real life as well as in the porno. LIKE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN PORNOS.
If we’re being honest with each other here, AND IF NOT HERE THEN WHERE, I saw Michael a shit-ton as a child, and have such fond memories of it I probably couldn’t hate it as an adult even if I tried. Plus, I recently discovered that Calvin Trillin has a cameo in it?! So maybe I should revisit it? I can’t promise I’ll hate it, you guys. Also, I definitely know all the lyrics to Andie McDowell’s songs in the movie. So, if you need a source for those, find me.
MUST we continue to use Robert Downey Jr to launch these action franchises?
These pictures are almost as bad as watching Glee. Maybe Terry Richardson can take some pictures of Ryan Murphy and then everyone else can get left alone forever. 2gether @last?
The concern here is that your dog will, like actually people do, grow despondent over not being able to live on Pandora and kill itself. Canine suicide, you guys. Wear a color today.