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Thom, not Tom
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“This match will determine once and for all who is the greatest country on earth: Mexico or Portugal!”
“Oh… I’ll kill myself if Portugal doesn’t win.” – Homer
And, finally “Where are the Fudgicles Bart? You said there’d be fudgicles!” – Milhouse
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory was actually true to the Roald Dahl book, and was one of like two movies that had Johnny Depp playing a character other than Jack Sparrow post-Pirates of the Caribbean. I like the original, but it takes a bunch of pointless liberties with the book. I didn’t think the Tim Burton one was great, or anything — and he hasn’t done anything worth a damn in ages — but it’s nowhere near the worst movie of all time.
I’d say Avatar, but Titanic is SO MUCH worse. I’d love to see both of them in the WMOAT discussion. Other than that, I suggest…
Knowing: Nic Cage seems like he’s half asleep, it’s slow as shit, is dumb as a rock and concerns conspiracy theories (a lethal combination), wastes the talent of Rose Byrne, and has ONE OF THE WORST TWIST ENDINGS EVER. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why Ebert gave this 4 stars.
Wicker Park: Another movie that wastes Rose Byrne. Josh Hartnett is pathetic in it, none of the characters are even remotely interesting, and Matthew Lillard is in it for extended periods of time. Looks nice, though, so I guess it’s not TOTALLY without merit (although, I could say the same thing about The Happening).
Turk 182: It’s kind of hilarious, but definitely not intentionally bad. Waste of good actors, and it’s really poorly edited. The plot makes it impossible to take the movie seriously.
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen: Because, duh. Well, that and racism. There’s no way they paid Tom Kenny enough to voice the twins.
And can we please just give Werttrew Amelia? He’s earned it at this point.
As much as I hate LeBron James, Kobe Doin’ Work is FAR worse. I have a grudging respect for him, but I can’t stomach a movie where Spike Lee FAWNS OVER KOBE BRYANT THE ENTIRE TIME. That movie is a fucking piece of shit and a gigantic sham — especially considering the potential it had. Kobe Bryant is a really weird guy with a weird background, and a borderline-obsessive work ethic. An objective documentary about him (a la the recent 30 for 30 docs) would be fantastic! But, no. Instead we get transparent propaganda and one of the worst movie titles of all time. It’s about sports, though, so I doubt it would register enough interest for this contest — and there are definitely worse movies.
Taken was so fantastically over the top that I couldn’t help but love it. It’s dumb as fuck, but few things make me giddy like Liam Neeson killing practically everyone he encounters. It’s not a good movie, but I don’t think it comes anywhere near “worst of all-time” territory. It’d be like nominating one of the Transporter movies. And the U2 tour cracks me up.
“WHERE?!?”
-ESPN
As much as Jeff’s comment deserved to win, I really wish the #2 comment had come out on top — if only to see a Kim Pine-related winner for the first, and likely only time.
“Ve believe in NAZIS, Lebuski!”
I love the transitions his texts make from absolutely insane intentional misspellings to really clear and grammatically correct sentences every once in awhile. I realize this girl is both young and dumb, but how can you possibly not pick up on that? Also, doesn’t she know “Eduardo” in real life? I really hope she was dumb enough to talk to him about their text conversations and STILL not figure out she was texting the wrong person.
Justin Long has clearly raized da staaks on celebrity trolling. Just photobombing (Michael Cera) someone (Michael Cera) isn’t good enough, anymore (Michael Cera).
Sam Weir REALLY let himself go…
The only thing that actually went through my mind during this trailer was: “Hey! Mr. Christina Hendricks!” This looks average bad, not full-on disaster, M. Night Shyamalan directed bad. Or Jennifer’s Body bad, for that matter.
Just like Darlton to shoot Kate, let her live, then kill Sayid and Lapidus. Ugh. Do they realize that no one likes Kate, and that she hasn’t done anything interesting or compelling since — at best — Season 2? At least I can take solace in the fact that Kate was probably in an unbelievable amount of pain from the salt water filling her open gunshot wound.
Good episode, regardless. I could tell Locke was in killing mode during his conversation with Jack. He had the same look in his eyes (RAPE!) as when he threw Desmond into the well.
I’d say Dolph Ziggler, but that’s only if you like sex that’s too athletic for Amy Schumer… ladies.