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 +1Posted on Apr 6th, 2012 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (89 comments)

Let us consider a person who, to this point, has never watched an episode of 30 Rock (wait! Come back!). This person hears many excellent things about it and chooses last night to be the night where they get down to actually watching an episode live. They would watch last night’s episode and be disgusted with all the people talking the show up, because it was trash. It was just really very bad, and unfunny, and actually disturbing in some places with its treatment of Jenna. That person would not be interested in further watching, I assure you, and would take some offence to the idea that there is nothing in it to complain about. Actually there is quite a lot in it to complain about! This is not America’s number 1 comedy, I am pretty sure of that! OH SO YOU STOPPED SHOWING PARKS & REC FOR THIS. Good work, whoever-made-that-decision.

I think this rant has gone on long enough…

 +25Posted on Feb 13th, 2012 | re: Hey Ladies, How Was The Vow? (50 comments)

“Let’s go see The Vow”
~ Chris Brown fans

 +19Posted on Feb 10th, 2012 | re: Rick Santorum Is An Incredible Asshole, Feb. 10 Edition (58 comments)

“…and this is my medal which I won in the War on Christmas”

“Mr Santorum… that’s a piece of tinsel on a safety pin”

“YOU WEREN’T THERE MAN, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE”

 +28Posted on Feb 10th, 2012 | re: Rick Santorum Is An Incredible Asshole, Feb. 10 Edition (58 comments)

Actually, fuck subtlety. Rick Santorum is one of the worst human beings there is and he is holding the rest of us back with his immoral, degrading, fucking despicable ideals, and I just want him to go away. I don’t want to see him any more. How can I not be a cynic when guys like this are running for the most powerful political position in the world and fucking GETTING SUPPORT.

 +20Posted on Feb 10th, 2012 | re: Rick Santorum Is An Incredible Asshole, Feb. 10 Edition (58 comments)

Rick Santorum: Keeping the advanced alien species from wanting to contact us since 1958

 +18Posted on Feb 10th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (53 comments)

OK, can we get some confirmation on this, was that Keira Knightley making out with Gillian Jacobs in the End Of The World trailer? IMPORTANT BUSINESS.

 +22Posted on Feb 9th, 2012 | re: A Rare Moment Of Moral Clarity From Bill O'Reilly! (42 comments)

Bears have began to defecate in appropriate public restrooms, and the Pope has renounced his Catholicism. More on that story later.

It is times like this where I almost wish that nerds would just stop caring. I mean caring about things you like is great. It’s an important part of making life worth living. But caring to the point where every tiny piece of information about a project that may or may not be happening has to be discussed and passed around and considered and reconsidered. And everybody has to have their opinion on this new non-development.

But it’s the Internet’s constant clamour for more information, like the guy from Monty Python, we know that one more wafer-thin piece of meaningless information will kill us but we can’t help ourselves. Who’s working on what project? We demand to know that. The cast of a movie with no script that won’t come out for 3 years even if it isn’t abandoned? We demand to know that. Can we not just stop caring? Can’t we enjoy Blade Runner as it is without sequels or prequels or spin-offs or remakes? Isn’t that enough?

This doesn’t sound quite right. I’m gonna go with the Oscars are to movies what killing in the name of religion is to Buddhism.

 +6Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

What’s that Sean Bean movie where he puts on an American accent?

 +16Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

I feel like the bumbling, oblivious, extra-wheel who has accidentally earned his time-travel stripes from an old pro.

 +23Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

Do I get extra-special bonus time-travel joke points for claiming that Frank Lloyd Wrong stole this off of me?

 +16Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

Despite overwhelming odds to the contrary?

 +4Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

What’s that movie where some guys build

 +5Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

the time machine

 +15Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

What’s that movie where Gary Oldman didn’t get the Oscar he deserved?

 +13Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

Also known as “What’s that movie with Jennifer Aniston in it?”

 +16Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 62: "What's That Movie?" (247 comments)

What’s that movie where a bunch of 20-something slackers mistake verbosity for smarts? I think Kevin Smith directed it.

 +5Posted on Feb 6th, 2012 | re: A Valentine's Day Treat: Robot Pigs For Virtual Kissing (25 comments)

Less laws than there are laws against kidnapping Karen Gillan.

“12 years old? Somebody’s past his best”
~ Willow Smith

 +2Posted on Jan 24th, 2012 | re: The 2012 Academy Awards Nominees (128 comments)

Have you watched Rango? It’s pretty great. The art direction was pretty amazing and it was fun for everyone. If Kung Fu Panda 2 deserves recognition in Best Animated Picture, than Rango does ten times over.

Oh yeah but other than that you’re spot on.

 +19Posted on Jan 24th, 2012 | re: The 2012 Academy Awards Nominees (128 comments)

*Ctrl+F “Melancholia”*

*0 results*

YOU’RE FUCKING KIDDING ME

 +24Posted on Jan 6th, 2012 | re: Any Way You Slice It, This David O'Russell Story Is A Nightmare (39 comments)

A warning to all members of the “Polanski Brigade for Directors Who Think Directors Get A Free Pass”.
Don’t.
Just don’t.

 +12Posted on Dec 26th, 2011 | re: Favorite TV Shows Of 2011 (68 comments)

Downton Abbey wasn’t on the BBC, and the Sherlock reboot came out in 2010. Chocolate milkshakes all round, researchers!

 +19Posted on Dec 20th, 2011 | re: The Dark Knight Rises Trailer Open Thread (129 comments)

Pretty cool. Creepy and mysterious and all that new-age Batman jazz. I think that Chris Nolan has a very particular feel to his movies, one that didn’t really come across in this trailer. Just seemed like it was some completely different guy overseeing the whole thing. I guess we get the trailer we deserve, not the one we need right now.