I really hope Tom Scharpling saw this over the weekend and will talk about it tonight on the Best Show.

I really hope someone got fired for that blunder.

Put your Belgium here and here.

Guh.

I thin you mean: “A rare miss, Kelly.”

They should have taken lessons from Heat. But maybe they were reluctant to wear a Val Kilmer ponytail or Robert DeNiro goatee.

Not to hijack the thread, but is the standing-up-at-your-desk thing really a thing? Because I just started a new job, in an office, and two of my colleagues do it. Like, they have desks where they sit, but if they want to use their computers they have to get up and stand at them?

I got this job after five years in the food-service industry, and there is no fucking way I’m standing up all day. Sitting might be the best thing about this new job.

If we all neglect whatever important work we had slated for the day, together we can turn that sentence into a Videogum meme. I’ll get the i-ball e-rolling:

“It’s true my silence to legendary to breaks!”

“It’s true we should all be so lucky as to find to something to brings us joy!”

“It’s true gay Jew to picture of to my wallet!”

This is harder than I thought it would be.

“For some, the name Emeril Lagasse immediately congers up the image … ”

This is just a very well-proofread press release about eels.

Which, remember (though I hardly need to point this out to what I am going to go ahead and assume is my readership here [insomuch as my editors at this esteemed publication have assured me that its readership consists of extremely literate but also reasonably savvy pop-culture scholars not too much unlike, ahem, yrs truly (all by way of saying, naturally, that I trust those selfsame editors will endeavor excise this loggorheaic aside from the finished draft)]) that DD hit theaters not too long after 9/11 itself with some unfortunately coincidental but imagery* that at first blush seems the innocuous stuff of science-fiction and action adventure tropes, but given the timing and the nature of the recent National Tragedy, was very unfortunate indeed, I think most moviegoers familiar with the film will agree.

*I am speaking here about the major plot point involving the collision of a commercial airliner’s detached engine, though in the director’s commentary accompanying the DVD release of the film, Richard Kelly does mention that the studio expressed considerable disquietude about even the most innocuous seeming details, to wit: The font used in opening credits and interstitial title cards looked “a little too Middle-Eastern.”**

**(!)

There should be some kind of service that will transcribe the contents of videos where horrible human beings express hateful rhetoric, so we can scan those transcripts for a cursory understanding of their contents without having to endure the actual sight and sound of Michelle Bachmann praying to God to end health care reform JUST FOR EXAMPLE.

Of course, the main problem with this service would be that whoever performed it would not be getting paid nearly enough. And they probably wouldn’t get health benefits, which they would need when their eyes and ears (immediately) started bleeding.

So then how do we reconcile the fact that Roger Ebert is THE BEST with the fact that he came to Carrey’s defense?

Your spleen?