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teenage eagle
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Since Roma Downey is involved, I can only assume that she will be playing all the angels.
Sorry, Dr. Sheela Stocks, growing up is not a “cultural norm.” It is a thing EVERYONE DOES, EVERYWHERE. Because if we all decided to not grow up, we would quickly run out of apple juice and Frosted Flakes and everyone would die.
“What is this? Berets?” was my favorite line of the night.
Oh, my busy lifestyle! Just chillin’ in the parking lot, drinking my latte, watching ladies for a half hour before I go to work.
Probably a little to late, but can we all talk about Alec Baldwin’s eyelashes? He always looks pretty straight on 30 Rock, and maybe it’s the black and white, but those eyes are definitely bi-curious.
Can anyone look more like the inflatable autopilot from Airplane!? I submit that they CANNOT!
Cross-Eyed At Birth: or, A Lifetime of Getting Asked, “Hey, Are You Looking at Me? Really?”
Sorry, the music video for “Into a Fantasy” is the life-changer of the group, because HOLY SHIIIIIIIIT.
This is obviously not an issue of Candy, the #1 youth magazine in the Philippines.
When he was describing the Dark Lord’s second-in-command “gruff” lady (lesbian) from “Fantasy”, I was picturing James Franco in drag, which is probably a pretty good approximation.
My cousin works at Dairy Queen, but you don’t see me bragging about it.
Every time the announcer says “the 62nd Emmy Awards”, I hear “the 60 second Emmy Awards” and suddenly believe in mercy and justice, but then Padma and Gail get up and do…that, and the dream dies.
OMG, “accio” is spelled with two c’s. RESPECT THE MOTION PICTURE EVENT OF A GENERATION!
Less cinematic, but equally embarrassing, are the times he interrupts family dinners to explain the finer points of the Lego Bionicle saga to his grandma.
As a firm believer that every person of every age should be able to do everything, I support this episode 100 percent! Which is also why I get frustrated that my baby has no idea how to use his iPhone. I mean, what an idiot!
I used to think the Northern Lights were just reflections from the movies God was projecting onto the polar ice cap for His viewing pleasure, but now I know that it’s just some dumb, natural shit. Thanks for ruining my child-like sense of wonder, SCIENCE.
Dear Gabe,
You are a smart guy and I love you like a monster father, but hearing Stefon say “Wesh” and “Joaquin Phoenix” over and over again on Hulu last night made me giggle so hard that now, I find myself no longer frightened by the forthcoming events of 2012. A biological change, maybe. A magical change, definitely. At times like this, we need to all embrace the magic.
Love,
T.E. (Teddy graham Eagle)
p.s. A gif of Stefon saying “WHAT?” would be perfection, plz!!!
“Just wait until you see my bee-youtiful tablescape – it’s super super simple. All I did was spray my Ocean Dreams tablescape with milk and then set it in the sun for five hours!”
Whatevs. I just sued Google for 200 million for their Superbowl commercial because one time I googled “Churches in Paris” but I was single at the time and they are OBVIOUSLY mocking my inability to find love in this awful, awful world.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t actually read any of the captions. I was too distracted by Kathy Griffin’s TERRIBLE ACTING. Maybe I was just waiting for her to make fun of Celine Dion.
“Knackered” aside, she also spelled “scent” wrong. As in, the “sent” of lavender. As in, “I was sent from heaven, and if your sheets are made of jersey, I’m not taking you back with me.” Gross.
In the words of Louise Bogan, “There was so much to love, I could not love it all;
I could not love it enough.” I will go to a quiet corner now and think about my thoughts.
This is sort of like seeing the Wiggles doing gansta rap off-camera. Or Kristin Stewart smiling between takes. That said, if I was playing Rainbow Dash, I’d sure as hell do this as a warm-up.
















Watching her Letterman “interviews” on YouTube is what got me through college, no joke. “Here’s another fun fact: snakes don’t have ears!” And the knitted iPhone…oh my god.