This reminds me so much of a case that just got tried down here in Florida!

Homeless man is asked to do some light yard work in exchange for place to stay the night by affluent man. Homeless man says in the middle of the night, the homeowner tried to sexually assault him. The homeless man then says he bashed his head in to get him off (then strangled him with a shoelace?) The homeless guy gets convicted of 2nd degree homicide.

Did anyone else think it was kind of weird that Joan Cusack and Ed Begley Jr. were Erin’s parents and they were together? Like seemed to be actually married or whatever? I legitimately thought they were pulling a Miss Havisham/Rooster kind of thing from Annie and trying to bilk Erin for sweet, sweet documentary money or something. Although, they did do a good job of making Joan Cusack look like she could really be Ellie Kemper’s mom, so I guess I don’t know!

DITTO. Lots of tears during those final “sitting around the office” moments.

My mom had called me to commiserate and talk about the Office so I put the TV on mute, but then I could still see intestines and a guy with a cello shoved down his throat and my mom and I were both like, “Uhhh…..what?” Really kind of a weird transition.

Everything about this is hilarious.

Can’t remember any specifically embarrassing celeb dreams of my own, but I DO remember one my roommate had ABOUT ME with a celeb:

She dreamed that Josh Holloway (Sawyer from LOST) was interested in me. He came to our apartment and we sat chatting in my room. Apparently, when he went in to kiss me, I got so nervous and embarrassed that I jumped out of the 3 story high window. Josh was very concerned and went down to help me and see if I was okay. Miraculously I was fine, and not cut into a million pieces. Apparently Josh Holloway was super cool about the whole thing and very comforting and told me that we could just hold hands until I was comfortable kissing him. And so we went back into the apartment and held hands and talked. FINIS.

Now, I don’t know why my friend was dreaming this about me (she also once dreamed that I stole her boyfriend!) but now it’s a big joke between us.

Magnitude WAS great. I don’t remember the line about him being 16, but it did definitely feel retconned. I felt like it would’ve come up that Troy and Annie knew him from high school or something. But there were a lot of things like that. Like, I kind of liked it better that Troy just legitimately did not remember Annie from high school at all. Or just as “that pill popper who lost it at the party.” But whatever, still fun! Fun to watch Alison Brie jump through a glass sliding door!

Stuff was good! I didn’t even realize it was the season finale of Parks & Rec till like right before it came on! But, as always, it was great. Ron as a dad, y’all! OMG!!1!

The Office was pretty okay. I was genuinely very, very happy for Dwight! And I feel really badly for Angela! It’s super obvious that they’re going to get together, but still! Poor Angela! And yeah, of course, Pam is going to tell Jim that it’s okay to go for it. (Whatever “it” is…I’m still super unclear as to what Jim’s company does and what Daryl meant by going out West for 3 months?) And I literally could not give a shit about Andy. Like, ugh, for real.

Community was cute. Can’t believe they haven’t delved into the characters’ pasts before now, honestly. Although, Abed kept going on about how it was like a superhero origin story, but the way their lives kept intersecting really reminded me more of LOST. C’mon Abed, you’re supposed to know these kinds of references.

Congrats, Smarty Pants!!

WOOPS I’M DEAD AGAIN.

This is a legit Tumblr meme right now: Loki as Tommy Wiseau. I encourage everyone to look it up if you want some Room inspired lulz.

I made it a full minute. It….was not a fun minute.

An intern at work didn’t know who Paul McCartney was and asked me, “What does he sing?” She also didn’t know the word “defecate.”