And it has 1-2-3, 4-5-6, 7-8-9, 10-11-12 pieces of pepperoni. Which is just perfect for a ladybug picnic.
The first person to order the Dalek pizza gets the old plunger from the pizzeria’s bathroom!
If Zombie Parkour is bitten by a radioactive spider, does he become Zombie Spiderman?
Stunt Walking Dead
Ah, yes. I was going to make a Doug Pitt joke but I couldn’t remember his name or the website for Google.
Brad Pitt? Doesn’t ring a bell.
Those nets everyone seems to have around their trampolines don’t really seem to lower the risk of falling off, but the poles they’re attached to greatly increase the likelihood of taint impalement.
Trampolines are the surest springboard to Videogum fame.
Maybe that should be my next career move: make Sportsgum happen, convince Buzz Media to pay me to write it, and become as famous as Gabe or Kelly.
I’ll be playing the Knicks Elimination Playoff Game Drinking Game. I’m going to take a drink every time:
-Melo settles for a 20 foot jump shot on an iso play
-JR Smith settles for a 20 foot jump shot on an iso play
And that’s it. I should be plenty drunk by the 3rd quarter.
Home Alone For Once
All he had to do was place a flaming matchbook on top of an upside-down spoon and stick it in his mouth. The shock from the burn gets rid of the hiccups every time.
Thanks a lot. Now I have to start playing Silent Hill games.
“Or Twitter.” – Anthony Weiner*
*he’s back in the news, so this counts as timely
Isn’t that always the way? One minute you’re making a video about how your lizard turned out to have a dick, and the next you’re committing arson to ensure that even the memory of the time he shit on you will be naught but a pile of ashes in your subconscious.
Hey, Boston area Monsters – hang in there. It’s going to be crazy for a while today, and things won’t seem quite right for a while after that. But then one day you’re gonna wake up and your town will feel like home again.
(But seriously? This is the morning that I have a minute to stop by and comment?)
I haven’t been around much the last few weeks because of my new job, but I just wanted to check in at the Ball and say that I miss you all. Best. Commenters. Ever.
Was that a person getting into a trampoline accident? Or a trampoline getting into a person accident?
Did I just blow your mind?
It is a goddamn crime that I can’t upvote this.
So I started a whole new kind of job this week, you guys. I’m a real estate broker! Weird, right? New horizons, I guess.
So, um, if you’re looking for an apartment in NYC…you know. Tweet at me or something?
Bale looks like he’s starring in a Tom Cruise biopic and they’re up to the part where he did Tropic Thunder.
But how much of the uptick is related to people talking about how there’s no voting? Or some asshole deciding to reply to comments with a comment that just says “+1″ like this is Deadspin or something?
Playground injury story –
When I was a kid (about 4 years old?), I went to the playground with my dad. I wanted to go on the seesaw. So we go over to the seesaw, and before I was able to get on it, my dad hopped on the other end. While I was not sitting on my end, I was standing very close to it. That damn thing came up and full-force whacked me right in the face. Man, he was one sorry dad that day.
Site’s broken. They’re apparently working on it, but until then Kelly has asked that you keep a tally of your upvotes on a piece of graph paper and overnight it to her so she can count them up before the Ball tomorrow.