Spencer: You said you’d help me with the tree, hon.

Heidi: Okay. Fine. Just the tip.

What’s next? A Super Mario Brothers movie? Ha ha no. Too ridiculous! A Tomb Raider movie? Yeah right, Hollywood! Who would you get to star in it?

If anything, this is the first truly good idea for a movie based on a video game yet.

Okay, I was kidding with those other ones. The best one is:

“I wanna dip my balls in it.” – Ken Marino.

“It STINKS” – Jon Lovitz

“What’s next?” – Martin Sheen.

“Agreed, but with a caveat” may have some potential to be added to the videogum slang canon along side such favorites as Have fun at dinner and relax, technojeremy.

When, clearly, I ought to be reading more grammar blogs.

I had a sociology professor in college that made us watch Bulworth. He was inspired by it. Which just lets you know how in touch white hippie sosh professors are.

ALSO: Imdb it and you’ll see that there’s a guy in the cast listed as “Man with blunt.” Hard to top.

You were instructed NOT to talk about that. Would you talk about who Tom Petty is related to?

Is it just me or does anyone else think Michael Showalter looks like a fucking blueberry?

Whatever, this is just a screen test. Those are always awkward. I have Thinny and this shows up as a special feature on the dvd.

The thing about Family Guy is, and I do know “the thing” and here it is: I/you/we all hate it so much and it’s so offensive to our core and being because it everyone here knows people that you love, care about or respect and they are passionate about how funny it is, and have made you watch it. And it made you question your feelings about them. And it made you realize that your sense of intelligence and humor is different than theirs. And somehow that makes YOU the asshole. There. I said it. If anyone asks you why you hate it soooo much, there. You’re welcome.

I was raised on a houseboat in Spain.