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Whatever, Gabe, I’m outta here. Posts have been going downhill at Videogum for quite a long time, considering both topical and textual quality. I’ve been cutting you quite some slack, but I’ve definitely run out. Bye.
I drink your McSmoothie! I drink it up!
Best movie of 2009: Let the Right One In. But that could just be me, a film snob from Europe. Still, good movie. FMF isn’t out here yet, so we’ll just see about that. You do make it sound interesting, without wanting to.
I’m not saying there are any mitigating circumstances, I’m just saying I don’t know all of the facts – as do any of you – so I’m not gonna be this kind of fake ‘moral crusader’ – like you guys – about something I don’t really know anything about. On,the other hand, it seems kind of pointless to say rape is bad – oh really? I didn’t know that. Why, thanks for pointing that out. I’ll change my plans for next Friday, then.
Agreed. I’m not one to choose sides, but with the way the ‘Videogum commenters incrowd’ (yes, you guys) has lately been downvoting any opinion even slightly differing from your own, I can sense a spirit of ignorance and blind idolatry getting the upper hand over the (mostly sarcastic, but still) common sense that I used to like about both Gabe’s posts and the subsequent entertaining comment banter. Lately, it’s like you’ve all gone ‘Go, Team Gabe!’, meanwhile shutting down the conversation I’m hoping he wanted to create with his posts.
Of course, there are some exceptions, but I have to admit I haven’t been that eager to check for updates lately, and this is why.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that ‘Wiseau’ phonetically translates to ‘What do you mean?’ in German.
There will be Panic in this Room.
These Skank Robbers are making me thirsty! (For a bullet. In my head.)
The Skank Robbers are making me thirsty! (For a bullet. In my head.)
I want to play the Misfits. Yes, all of them.
It takes just a couple of minor changes to the synopsis of T4 to make this work:
“In 2003, Dr. MacFarlane of CyberyGuy Systems convinces death row inmate Bill Hicks to sign his body over for medical research following his execution by lethal nicotine inhalation. One year later, the Guynet system is activated, perceives a basic sense of humor as a threat to its own existence, and eradicates much of humanity in the event known as Dunham Day. In 2018, John Conan O’Brien leads an attack by the Anti-Douche Rebellion on a Guynet base. O’Brien discovers human prisoners and the plans for the development of a new type of terrorist puppet incorporating living tissue, but is the only apparent survivor of the attack after the base is destroyed in a terrorist puppet attack. However, Bill emerges from the wreckage of the base and proceeds on foot to South Park.
O’Brien returns to Anti-Douche Rebellion headquarters located aboard a nuclear submarine and tells General Louis CK, the current leader, of his discovery. Meanwhile, the Anti-Douche Rebellion has discovered a comedy radio frequency capable of shutting down Guynet terrorist puppets. They plan to launch an offensive against the Guynet base in Un Funcisco in four days, in response to an intercepted “kill list” indicating that Guynet plans to kill the Anti-Douche Rebellion’s command staff in four days’ time. O’Brien learns that his own name is second on the list, following Mitch Hedberg. The Anti-Douche Rebellion leaders are unaware of Mitch’s importance to Guynet, but O’Brien knows that it is because Mitch will later become his father. O’Brien meets with his officer Alec Baldwin and wife Tina Fey and sends comedy radio broadcasts to Anti-Douche Rebellion members and surviving funny people around the world.
Arriving in the ruins of South Park, Bill is saved from a T-600 terrorist puppet by Mitch Hedberg and his mute companion Kenny. Mitch relates to Bill the events of Dunham Day and the ensuing war between humans and terrorist puppets. Hearing O’Brien’s comedy radio broadcast, the three leave South Park in search of the Anti-Douche Rebellion. They survive an attack by terrorist puppets, but Mitch, Kenny, and several other humans are taken prisoner, while a pair of Anti-Douche Rebellion A-10s are shot down. Bill locates downed pilot Jane Lynch and they make their way to O’Brien’s base, but Bill is wounded by a magnetic land mine. Attempting to save his life, the Anti-Douche Rebellion fighters discover that he is in fact a terrorist puppet with human organs, a mechanical endoskeleton, circuitry, and a partially artificial cerebral cortex. Bill believes himself to be human, demanding to be released so that he can save Mitch from Guynet, but O’Brien orders his destruction. However, Jane releases him and helps him to escape from the base. During the resulting pursuit Bill saves O’Brien’s life from Guynet hydrobots, and the two form a comedic alliance. Bill will enter Guynet’s headquarters and attempt to disable its defenses by spitting oneliners, so that O’Brien can rescue Mitch.
O’Brien demands that Louis CK delays the attack so that he can rescue Mitch and the other prisoners, but Louis CK refuses and relieves O’Brien of his command. However, O’Brien’s soldiers remain loyal to him and he sends a comedy radio broadcast asking the other Anti-Douche Rebellion fighters not to attack Guynet. Meanwhile, Bill enters the Guynet base and interfaces with the computer, disabling the perimeter defenses and allowing O’Brien to infiltrate the cell block and release the human prisoners. The Anti-Douche Rebellion’s disabling signal is revealed to be a ruse, and the command submarine with the Anti-Douche Rebellion leaders aboard is destroyed by Dane Cook.
Bill discovers that he was created by Guynet and has unwittingly fulfilled his programmed mission to lure O’Brien into the base to be killed. He tears out the hardware linking him to Guynet and leaves to assist O’Brien in battling a T-800 model 101 terrorist puppet. O’Brien is mortally wounded during the fight, but succeeds in destroying the Guynet base by rigging several terrorist puppet nuclear power cells to an explosive, detonating them as he, Bill, Mitch, and Kenny are airlifted out. Tina Fey attempts to save O’Brien’s life, but his sense of humor is too damaged. Bill offers his wit for transplant, sacrificing himself to save O’Brien. Recovering, O’Brien comedy radios to the other Anti-Douche Rebellion fighters that though this battle has been won, the war is far from over.”
After ruining my favorite childhood movies (Indy, Star Wars), cartoons plus action figures (Transformers, GI Joe, and Thundercats coming soon), Hollywood has finally gotten round to molesting my first-generation GameBoy platform heroes. What’s next – board games? Oh yeah, that’s right. *sigh*
It originally was a quote from Bowie’s ‘Let’s Dance’. Which makes even less sense, since I can’t imagine any dance that involves being cellotaped to a chair. Well, except for an unvoluntary lapdance or something.
Not that I’m even remotely interested in this particular clip, but could you please stop posting videos you can only watch in the USA? Thanks.
I honestly try not to compare the new seasons to the classic Simpsons episodes, and as a result, I manage to find them pretty entertaining.
Instead, I think you’re better off comparing the recent output to the shitload of crappy animated shows running on tv – like American Dad, Family Guy, all that Nickelodeon nonsense and so on. From my point of view, the only cartoon show that comes close to the Simpsons – even now – is South Park (insert duh here).
I for one hated this movie (just because of the lousy acting and cliché-riddled screenplay) and I have non-amusing racist grandparents who (I’m sorry to say) are pretty bad people – since, for example, they messed up my mother to a similar state of closed-mindedness, which was one of the factors that forced me to leave home at sixteen.
Also, I don’t really think the whole ‘products of their time’ argument makes that much sense, as I know and appreciate a lot of sympathetic, level-headed 60+ people.
Well, you can’t really put all the blame on the movie, because the book is equally bad. So, Toby Young is an untalented journalist who rightfully loses a job he didn’t deserve in the first place, so he writes an awful book about it, which, of course, becomes a bestseller. Bravo world.
This guy is the Seth MacFarlane of paperback nightmares.
Oh yes, I’m really looking forward to your Gran Torino-rant, also since I nominated it, like, half a year ago and got downvoted immediately. Lousy acting (except for Clint Eastwood, because hey, he’s Clint Eastwood), insipid script and clichéd depictions of ‘Patriotic Americans’ and ‘Troubled Immigrants’. Ugh. One ‘Crash’ will do, thank you.
I hope I don’t live in a world where a basic idea of Hamlet’s storyline is considered exclusive knowledge for ‘smart people’; Mel Gibson played the guy, for heaven’s sake.
On the other hand, I have to agree with your point of Leno not knowing his audience – I wouldn’t have known about this if it weren’t for Gabe’s obsession with giant chins. So there you go.
Granted, but that was just one role. And he was pretty awful in RocknRolla, but that movie just plain sucked so I can’t really pin it on him.
It’s funny that they didn’t even bother to paste in the only guy who’s ever really proven he can act.
Well, if we’re able to forget about ‘Crash’ for a moment, that is.