Profile 
PerhapsAnAtticShallISeek
Website: -
Find Me On:

Latest Comments

Comments

 +7Posted on Jan 5th, 2010 | re: Kids Grind Out To Metal In Their Car Seats The Darndest Things (22 comments)

A Youtube comment:

“PLEASE learn how to properly restrain your child in his carseat! This is the scariest thing I have seen in awhile. His straps are much too loose, he shouldn’t be able to move? back and forth like that and his chest clip should be at armpit level. The seat itself looks too upright and it’s one of the lowest rated on the market. Instead of posting videos to YouTube, perhaps you should take the time to educate yourself on car seat safety and installation before something tragic happens!”

The day the majority of Youtube comments are neither unintentionally hilarious nor giant buzzkills is the day – uhhh – something improbable happens.

 +8Posted on Dec 17th, 2009 | re: Videogum's Teen Korner: Kristen Stewart IS A Vampire In The Runaways (53 comments)

That annoying thing from War of the Worlds? Be more specific.

Dakota Fanning looks like she’s doing her “there is a camera? time to FUCKING ACT, MAN” thing. Her stare at the camera was full of act. Also Kristen Stewart throwing that glass at the wall was pretty convincing glass-throwing! I am intrigued!

 +2Posted on Dec 16th, 2009 | re: Fan-Made, Feature-Length Legend Of Zelda Movie (37 comments)

This movie isn’t going to make any monies at the box offices for one simple reason: there is no Navi.

If I have to sit through a Legend of Zelda movie without hearing “LISTEN!” and “HEY!” every ten seconds, then it’s NOT WORTH MY TIME.

I applaud the nerds’ failed effort here, but they really should have followed the example of the Mario Kart: The Movie trailer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG1ex0AAU5c

 +27Posted on Dec 14th, 2009 | re: My The Black List, 2009 (76 comments)

Wait, these are all real titles for real things! I thought they were fake! But they are real! Just like Hollywood.

33. STREETS ON FIRE by Justin Britt-Gibson

?Two cops, reluctantly partnered, try to bring down a drug syndicate while navigating the streets of Chicago.?

I HOPE ONE GUY IS WHITE WITH A DEATH WISH AND THE OTHER IS A MIDDLE AGED BLACK MAN WHO IS TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT.

 +19Posted on Dec 14th, 2009 | re: What Is The Catchphrase Of The Decade? (162 comments)

“Are you having a laugh?”

 +13Posted on Dec 14th, 2009 | re: What Is The Catchphrase Of The Decade? (162 comments)

Uhhhh no. This is MODERN TIMES! 23 Skidoo!

 +1Posted on Dec 11th, 2009 | re: Woman Crying At The Ending Of Return Of The Jedi (35 comments)

What would her reaction/explanation be after watching Primer?

Sorry, but I can’t think of anything else to say. Astro’s comment made me :( .

If they are not playing an elaborate hoax, then THIS is the worst and that guy is your husband forever and ever. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZEgDW_05eM&feature=channel

 +9Posted on Dec 11th, 2009 | re: They Are Making A Tiger Woods Porno, Duh (17 comments)

I can’t wait for the inevitable sequels:

Tiger’s 3 Wood: Teeing Off at the Ladies Hole

 +14Posted on Dec 10th, 2009 | re: Fading Of The Cries Is Tommy Wiseau's The Room But With Swords (59 comments)

It’s called Fading of the Cries? What? “the journey home will begin for some ; one is set on destruction”? … this looks and reads like a poorly translated Japanese video game trailer.

 +6Posted on Dec 10th, 2009 | re: Top Chef S06E14: Season Finale (27 comments)

Gabe, you forget that Eli lives at home. Kevin’s mom called Eli’s mom, but she caller ID screened it because she was in the middle of an important conversation with her son over a meal of bacon bits and shattered dreams.

 +4Posted on Dec 10th, 2009 | re: We've Got To Go Back To The Bloopers! (11 comments)

Aw c’mon, man (woman(be photoshoppin’)!)! Blooper reels are the best, because you always imagine yourself acting in that scene too*, thinking “oh boy, how could I keep my cool if the other actor starts flubbing his/her lines? I’M JUST LIKE THEM HAHAHA!”

*everyone imagines themselves acting in the programs they watch, right? This is totally normal, right guys? … Guys?

 +7Posted on Dec 10th, 2009 | re: We've Got To Go Back To The Bloopers! (11 comments)

A Youtube comment from that video, Youtube comments are the best:

hansmeyer86: Ha ha, I? used to watch this show in jail.

 +3Posted on Dec 9th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 13 (180 comments)

A Star Witness and Fugitive Working Girl Lies Beneath Air Force One for Six Days Seven Nights

Starring Harrison Ford

 +18Posted on Dec 9th, 2009 | re: Kids Get Me To Like A Jason Mraz Song (Kind Of) The Darndest Things (30 comments)

This reminds me of a completely boring story. When I was in Florida at a younger age (16?) and sitting by the beach, I overheard two British birds (they are called birds, right?) talking about sexual conquests. One of them said, “Guess what? my cousin? She slept with JASON MRAZ!” The excitement in her voice was palpable. Her friend responded with “Oh my GOD!” Her friend seemed just as amazed and excited. I didn’t understand why someone would think this was important enough to share, and I put my headphones back on and played Dookie on my CD Player again.

I thought that was the last time I would ever know What Was Up With Jason Mraz’s Music And Or Sex Life. Once every seven years is still once every seven years too many.

Cute kid, though!

 +2Posted on Dec 9th, 2009 | re: Who Would Like Some Pizza And/Or To Be A Videogum Intern? (54 comments)

WAIT WAIT, this is some kind of test, isn’t it? Like in The Last Crusade? Okay, so I just highlight it and press the delete button, right? …


FUCK AM I NOT QUALIFIED?
*jerks off to that avatar while crying* (don’t worry I didn’t actually cry)

 +8Posted on Dec 8th, 2009 | re: Two Fun Parties To Which We Were Not Invited! Boo! (39 comments)

Is that the Black Hole Sun video? Chris Cornell really let himself go.

Also is it OK for me to say that I’m really not a fan of MGMT aside from Electric Feel and sometimes Kids? The song with Kid CuDi is pretty good, but it’s not the best on that album. Sorry for getting all stereogum up in here, guys.

 +6Posted on Dec 8th, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Adults Do Not Ever Find Fred Funny (47 comments)

I don’t know a single thing about Fred. I didn’t even know he existed until I saw this post. I feel like I’ve missed out on a major zeitgeist here (zeitgeist means collective barfing and pooping in abject disgust, right?)

 0Posted on Dec 8th, 2009 | re: Feel Disappointed By Avatar From The Comfort Of Your Home! (34 comments)

This sounds like Imogen Heap if Imogen Heap was crossed with Celine Dion and a bleating sheep.

You say this movie will not live up to expectations? What if my expectations are that it will be A COLOSSAL FAILURE?

I think we all need to adopt South Park’s title for this movie: Dances With Smurfs. Avatar sounds like (literally!) it is going to deserve it.

 +1Posted on Dec 7th, 2009 | re: Saturday Night Live: Shy Ronnie, My Ninjas! (78 comments)

You are of course referring to your Gorgon vagina with its unblinking Cyclops eye on top (Weekend Update was pretty good this week, right?). Yeesh at that author.

Vaginas actually look like a bag of sand with a vertical iPhone dock in the center and a red Gobstopper on top. If only he would have used my description; he missed out on a best sex in fiction award.

The offending excerpted passages can be found here, and by god, it gets worse: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/nov/30/bad-sex-award-jonathan-littell-kindly-ones

 +3Posted on Dec 4th, 2009 | re: We Are All Jersey Shore (71 comments)

“the women on Real Chance at Love who share rooms in a fake ranch made of plywood and farts”…this made me laugh lots at work, which was embarrassing! But at the same time, considering I work at a kitten-slaughtering farm (metaphorically) where we just slaughter kittens all day, it’s rare that I get the chance to laugh around here, so thanks!

This is why we can’t have nice things. Come back, Prawns! We willingly submit to your rule!

 0Posted on Dec 3rd, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Friendster Is Not Coming Back (53 comments)

For whatever reason, I was immediately reminded of this little show while watching the commercial. Must have been the 90s stop-motioning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIX-QP6b24A

 +3Posted on Dec 3rd, 2009 | re: This Is Your Videogame: Sumotori (46 comments)

html tags fail :(

 +19Posted on Dec 3rd, 2009 | re: This Is Your Videogame: Sumotori (46 comments)

Is this actually a simulation of what happens when I try to buy stuff at a convenience store after a night of drinking and/or heavy drug use and then get laughed at thanks to security footage? If so, then right on, this [b]is[/b] my video game!

Especially the LOTR one, which was just one steaming pile of massive fail (large generic sword! smiling buds!). First off, everyone knows that Sean Bean as Agent 006 Alec Trevelyan in the Video Game Classic cum movie Goldeneye 007 was his iconic role. Also they should have just put Viggo in a bunch of tattoos and died his hair and used his character from Eastern Promises, because that movie was amazing and the photo would have been much more awesome.

AND let me add that the only one in non-Morpheus style that worked for me was the Gibson one with the sword, because that was fucking freaky as shit. The one with make-up just reminded me of the South Park episode.