Find Me On:
srsly, that’s why benedict looks so awful. it’s not the wig, it’s the bruhl proximity.
I will pay a lot of money to look at Jeff Goldblum’s sexy young 3D face.
I LOVE THIS ENTIRE THING. I LOVE that Chet Haze creeps on gonewild. I LOVE that he DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW REDDIT WORKS. And I LOVE this chat.
I LOVE THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!
Everyone may mock us (we mock ourselves), but today is a snow day for absolutely everyone and everything in Seattle and we’re all just drinking coffee and lounging around and sledding with children down all the closed-off steep roads so fuck the haters.
I didn’t have my first kiss until I was in college (hey fellas) and afterwards, the asshole who I attempted it with went around telling everyone that I was unbelievably bad at kissing. Watching this- I think that the happy couple’s technique is exactly the one I chose. I had never been able to visualize exactly WHAT I could have done to deserve being outed as the shittiest kisser, but my stomach sank the second their lips touched. And I knew.
I figured out approximately how much of my life I’ve spent watching ANTM once. It was a rough calculation, as it included an unknown number of weekends lost to watching the marathons on VH1 with my mom and little brother while I was in middle school, but it was still a real disturbing amount of time.
OHMYGODDDDD we posted about ANTM at the exact same time…. thank you. I really thought I was the only one. The. Only. One.
I know that I am THE ONLY HUMAN BEING besides the 14-year-old girls of the world who still watches America’s Next Top Model, but that shit always makes Wednesday nights fun. Rich Juzwiak’s incredible recaps on FourFour inspired my love for the show, and now that he’s stopped writing ANTM recaps I started doing my own on Tumblr. It’s a dirty job but, etc. And I have a devoted following of said 14-year-old girls of the world, so I don’t feel quite as alone anymore. #shamedbuthonest
I had that kind of fuzzy, unhappy moment when I woke up this morning that means you had a really terrifying dream that you can’t quite remember. When I looked at the top of this post, I instantly realized that I dreamt Justin Timberlake had tried to sexually assault and kill me. So rather than educating me about child slavery, his video actually made me feel like the victim of a sex crime. (Sorry guys. It’s a weird day).
BRUSH THOSE TEETH AFTER YOUR GUSHERS BREAKFAST! – Other Dad
I don’t care what anyone says, the intrigued “ooh!” sound he makes after eating the first gusher cements TheFoodReviewer in my heart forever. Like, he forgot just precisely what gushers taste like and that first bite is so GENUINELY EXCITING! I wish I had his enthusiasm.
I found myself tearing up a tiny bit when Padma announced Richard as top chef. At first I was ashamed, but then I just embraced my feelings.
Blais’ method of using an infinite amount of nervous fear to propel him to success is very similar to my own approach to life (sans the success part).
sounds like somebody needs a nap!!!
Sadly not completely relevant anymore, but: have you guys seen this?
Guys, this episode held the first (quasi-) confirmation that Angelo’s Russian fiancee is no more, with the inclusion of a bizarre moment in which Mike harassed some women and yelled at one that Angelo wanted to ask her something, while Angelo actually attempted to fit his entire body underneath the chefs’ counter to hide and let out womanly, high-pitched giggles. Many things about this scene were perplexing, but I choose to mourn Angelo’s lost love rather than focus on how fucking weird these people are.
My first Videogum article of the morning reminds me that the best part of waking up is bathtub caulking in your butt.
I would be DAMN HAPPY to be kidnapped by an evil magical Justin Theroux! Sadly, this film covers his wonderfully intense widow’s peak with wigz. Probably why Zooey isn’t into it. The Nic Cage effect.
I’ve only ever gone as Drunk Unicorn, but I did it well.
The night will also take you to waking up at 5AM the next morning to find that you are laying on top of your sheets in all your clothes, with a row of vomit puddles next to your bed, and your first thought will be “This must be what all those Sims I neglected felt like.”
That’s exactly what I was thinking… those lines repeated over and over again as everyone rubs against each other underwater and their drag makeup runs everywhere… and that’s even one of the final scenes, so by that point the kiddies will have weathered Dr. Frankenfurter sexing both Brad and Janet, the brutal murder / consumption of Eddie, Rocky’s package, EVERYTHING about Riff Raff…… oh my god.
I think you may just not be a Tolkien fan in general…. did you ever read/like the Lord of the Rings books? I don’t know, I first read The Hobbit in grade school and I thought it was FUCKING awesome, but at that point in my life I was also a mostly-friendless, cross-dressing little nerd, so 9-year-old-me is not an ideal critic.
Did you watch the Twin Peaks tribute one??? Oh god. And he talks about the fact that it’s all done in his grandma’s house, and he can only make videos when she’s gone, and he places that St. Vincent record on that cage in every single video, and interacts with it in really intense, weird ways. I have now spent way too much time investigating this person, and I’m sure that this is real.
Being John Locke
I’m flattered, but I’m saving myself for Annie Clark.