Oh man I RSVP’d to the meetup lit-trally months ago but now I am scare. You’re telling me I have to meet new people AND try to be witty AND possibly sing Pat Benatar? What? Now you’re trying to tell me no one said anything about Pat Benatar?

Buttercup Giggletush.
I can almost feel the sexual harassment that’s coming my way.

Something about this post has reignited my crush on Gabe. I think it was the part where he said he was in love with someone else.

Also I bought this movie during the “asshole” phase of my life.

I would say you win, but winning at eloquently explaining why it’s not appropriate to make fun of the recently deceased on a blog is not something most people aspire to.

like Juno, but her name is Autumn

After that anthrax scare, working at Oswald State Correctional Facility just became too much for him.

NO.

wait WHAT? You mean I have to watch this whole thing now?

(fun fact- in my 3rd grade autobiography book I was married to him)

I dare you not to sing this today;
http://jurassicparkwtf.ytmnd.com/

I think you could have taken it further. Think Gyllenhaal. Part of me thinks this might have been an excuse for you to post 45 pictures of yourself gazing into the distance.

/thecritiquenooneaskedfor

Every time Gabe (or anyone else) complains about this heatwave that is actually how people in the south live for most of the summer months, I am tempted to mock them. But then, I remember how ill-prepared I was for living in Paris in the winter (FLYING FROZEN WATER WTF WHY IS THERE ICE ON THE GROUND) and I promptly stfu.

son, we just say “Marketing”