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Who is still inviting THAT girl to the party?
He’s been conditioned to ignore compulsive hair-touching/head grabbing since dating Kristen. He seems to be like moth to the awkward hair-touching flame though.
Holy cow. The first 30 seconds were fine, but then, woooaah. They aren’t even trying to be clever racists! “Larger non-functional machine” with a sassy attitude made me do a double-take. Maybe if they had made the second machine some disaffected hipster girl this skit could have avoided a racist slant, but clearly this is just about black people. Happy MLK day! Womp.
Only the naturalest of spring waters for goopy.
Carrots are high in sugar!
There’s no upvote/downvote button your comment, but I just want to let you know that I read your comment as I was making a horrified face and whisper-screaming AAAHHHHHH . So, what I’m trying to say is, your comment spoke to me.
Anyone wanna let him know the prohibition is over? He seems to be hoarding all of the alcohol in New York
Yes that was depressing. But can we take a minute to talk about the fact that he totally RUINED that bag? No one’s coming over to eat those chips. They’re going to get so stale 
You are not alone. I actually made a Facebook group about this back in college (the only other group I ever made was about milk (both groups had more than 1 member!)). 2 of the scenarios in the mission statement were the classic Jessie Spano freak-out, and pretty much everything about the MTV show Made. God I cringe just thinking about having to watch some kid break dance in the middle of their cafeteria.
Let’s hear it! (I reserve the right to crash your party)
Thanks! I’d also like to add Rashida Jones, though I worry I may be jeopardizing my odds with Gos.
This is way too late and I know that no one will read it, but I have been making this list in my head for years and I will be damned if I do not get to share it at the only time it will ever be appropriate and only semi-weird.
Tina Fey (no doy)
Amy Poehler
Connie Britton
Lauren Graham
Paul Rudd
Louis CK (though he makes me nervous)
Mindy Kaling
Drew Barrymore (She wouldn’t show up without marijuana if you catch my drift)
Ryan Gosling (no doy redux)
Tom Hanks (party dad!)
Emma Stone
I also feel icky hearing how sexualized his raps are at 14. He’s 14. My idea of risque at that age was holding hands at school, maybe kissing, but don’t push it buster (not that any of those things happened for me). And yet, what’s even ickier is that he sells the “swagger” (ew, who am I?) better than Justin Bieber does. When Bieber does it, I’m like aww he’s trying so hard and yet no girl over 12 is buying this. With this kid I’m like, slow down buddy or you’re gonna give some 8th grader a case of the babies.
BRB I think Chris Hansen is at the door.
I hate his smug little face so much and it totally bums me out that the Fresh Prince is encouraging his son to become a douche. I’ll never know if the oldest son (Trey?) turned out okay, but at least he was only given a cameo in one of his dad’s songs. And yes, I know all the words.
I literally LOLed when the gold kerchief came out. Takes a special kind of ridiculous to make me snort when I’m watching something. Parks And Rec has only managed to do it a handful of times (though it definitely keeps the laughs coming in my head).
Ahem, allow me to be obnoxious for just a moment. I’d say Jessie is Britta and Kelly is Annie.
I should mention that I’m a girl and was probably the only one in that health class that had never even been to first base. Being too tall and too smart is the best protection against pregnancy in high school.
As a survivor of the Miami public school system, I struggle with deciding whether abstinence only would have been a less scarring alternative to having a 70 year old man teaching 15 year old me how to properly apply a condom…
You shut your mouth!
*bad
Too mad things didn’t work out between her and Mike. Hope things are going well for him and his mom.
Kellll loves orange soda…I do I do I do I do-ooh.
I promise I’m not drunk. Just had a small stroke while writing that first sentence.
Made it to 1:28 then came back for the more later once I had forgotten how cheesy it was. Made it to 3:40 the second time. If you make it to 3:20ish, please take note of enthusiastic usage of banana prop from guy in the middle. Also, homegirl second row from the bottom on the right hand side is Dancing. It. Out.
Just when I thought I had reached my rage threshold, I clicked this link and had a vision of myself throwing my computer against my window. But then I remembered that I’m poor.