I’m going to rewatch Watch What Happens Live from season 1.

OK, I read that whole goddamn thing and I still don’t know what the fuck Kelly’s having for dinner.

Working title: Yah, It’s Been Reeeel Hurd

Well, his answer is better than Jerry Stahl’s: ““When I used to write an episode and couldn’t come up with a line for ALF, I needed something really funny, I would actually ask ALF. I would actually put the character on, and the character would just tell me what the line was. do a shit ton of heroin.”

Meanwhile, C. Thomas Howell is STILL just sitting around waiting for the NAACP to induct him as an honorary black man. Nice job, minorities!

What’s the over-under that his name is Brendan?

Here’s my book:

Birdie: the Cure for the Common Dog
Chris Brown: the Cure for the Common Asshole
The Wire: the Cure for the Common Premium Cable Drama
Videogum Petting Zoo: the Cure for the Common Cute Animal Video

When do I start?

I can’t wait for the return of Conrad Hilton as a Black Panther.

Culturally he’s just more Adult Swim than Network Television. I think he’ll be better off for it, even if I will miss seeing his vision for the show’s ending. Abed has always been his surrogate on the show — that character will probably suffer Harmon’s absence most.

It was surprisingly emotional when Kristen Wiig did her goodbye because doy everyone loves her, but I was a bit distracted by that insane flesh-colored Star Trek outfit.

This happened a few years ago with dalmatians following the 101 Dalmatians live action movie. Fucking assholes.

On the upside, at least there was no Snakes on a Plane-related buyers remorse epidemic.

His Cribs is going to be awesome. “This is my basement lair. That’s a Rubbermaid bin of my dad’s old tax documents and stuff. This is my favorite swing that I like to stand on. Sometimes I lurk in this tree over here.”