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grasshopper
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I kinda recused myself from all of the Mel Gibson crazy that’s been happening over the last few weeks, but it is on every news network. All of them. Literally, not figuratively.
I cannot run from it even when I’m in the gym, paying some idiot-company money for the privilege of walking up imaginary steps like a hamster.
I finally listened to an excerpt of the Mel Gibson crazy just now, and it is awful, but also, predictable.
“Whaaaattt?!!???!?! You are telling me that Mel Gibson, who made his hundreds of millions of dollars playing emotionally unstable and extremely violent characters, is emotionally unstable and violent, HIMSELF?!!??!??”
Boo, us. Let’s please stop paying attention to this obviously insane man. Who gives a fuck what he said? He is going to court, will plea out due to his very expensive lawyer, then his career is wrecked. Good. He is an awful human being, and deserves what he gets.
I don’t want any more of this garbage assaulting my brain. Let’s all just agree to please stop.
Rick crab-crawling and scooting towards the camera while humping the air is a vision that will haunt me. Can I take my brain out and wash it?
the free clinic?
“A second before the photo, Gabe’s neck spasmed and his smile turned into an awful rictus when he heard someone whistling “The Farmer in the Dell” approaching from behind.”
Me, too – the world needs more Will Arnett in it.
And at a meta-level, how is this infomercial not a great thing? Ultimately, every actor is getting paid by advertisers in the end. Why not just make the arrangement up front, then wink and nod and get the required number of brand mentions out of the way? So long as it allows Will Arnett and Jason Bateman latitude to do whatever they like in making 3-minute videos, I think we all win.
someone call jail on the father.
he obviously thinks that turning his son into an automatic shithead is a funny thing. no, it is not. stop making your son a worse person than you are . try to do the opposite.
Really – just how lazy do you have to be to call a slow-mo montage of that bunch of nutsacks staring moodily into the distance while wearing sunglasses a “season promo”?
“I wore a THONG! It was kind of like a tangerine / pinkish color thong. Now I didn’t wear it on my bare skin, I wore it over my shorts, but that was part of the COMEDY!!”
having to explain the gouge-your-eyeballs-out obvious joke you just made (that would pretty much make you want to gouge your eyeballs out anyway, if you watched it), is always the sign of a really funny joke.
too on-the-nose
or was it too Under The Nose??? did you see what i did there?!?!?!!
yuck – sorry. but honestly, dude looks like a water buffalo in a bowling shirt.
“gwyneth paltrow : not as cunty as you would expect” she should have to EARN THAT as an inscription on her headstone.
And, in fairness, Kateness, I apologize. I just had a knee-jerk reaction to someone not loving my favorite show in the same way that I love my favorite show. Which is ridiculous. No two snowflakes are the same and whatever.
BUT, I would encourage you, while watching the final season of The Wire, to settle in and trust that the filmmaker respects you enough to not shove everything in your face just for exposition. Boring to some, good story-telling to others.
Please turn yourself in to jail, starting right now.
The Wire started off with one of the best-written scenes in the history of TV:
—————–
MyNulty: So your boy’s name was what?
Kid: Snot.
McNulty: You called the guy “Snot”?
Kid: Snot Boogie. Yah.
McNulty: God. Snot Boogie. He like the name?
Kid: What?
McNulty: Snot Boogie?
[beat]
McNulty: This kid, whose mama went to the trouble to christen him Omar Isaiah Betts… You know, he forgets his jacket, so his nose starts running and some asshole, instead of giving him a Kleenex, he calls him “Snot.” So he’s Snot forever. Doesn’t seem fair.
Kid: Life just be that way, I guess.
McNulty: So, who shot Snot?
Kid: I ain’t goin’ to no court… motherfucker didn’t have to put no cap in him though.
McNulty: Definitely not.
Kid: He coulda just whooped his ass like we always whoop his ass.
McNulty: I agree with you.
Kid: Kill Snot. Snot been doing the same shit since I don’t know how long. Kill a man over some bullshit. I’m sayin’, every Friday night in an alley behind the Cut Rate, we rollin’ bones, you know? I mean all them boys around the way, we roll till late.
McNulty: Alley crap game, right?
Kid: Like every time, Snot, he’d fade a few shooters, play it out till the pot’s deep. Snatch and run.
McNulty: What, every time?
Kid: Couldn’t help hisself.
McNulty: Let me understand you. Every Friday night, you and your boys are shoot crap, right? And every Friday night, your pal Snot Boogie… he’d wait till there’s cash on the ground and he’d grab it and run away? You let him do that?
Kid: We’d catch him and beat his ass but ain’t nobody never go past that.
McNulty: I gotta ask you: if every time Snot Boogie would grab the money and run away… why’d you even let him in the game?
Kid: What?
McNulty: If Snot Boogie stole the money, why’d you let him play?
Kid: Got to. It’s America, man.
that movie trailer was great. i couldn’t focus on stuff like date rape. i’m focused on getting more suicide bullets for my gun. reload? anyone??
i’d love to see ICP change artistic direction and veer more toward simon & garfunkel in their later years
and it will be, like, full flex
this is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends…..
tracy bringing the serious sauce? that entire interview makes me feel somehow unclean – pay for a therapist, tracy. don’t put that shit on the radio.
yikes. i made it exactly 14 seconds.
do you think the one of the richest woman in the world has someone to stunt-pee for them, or is that just brilliant prop-work?
i just looked at that photo of bumblebee. am in the only one that sees a gigantic shiny camel-toe on him? (her?)
bumbleshe???
ModernMANdroid, i think you’re getting too hung up on the shows, themselves. i doubt very much that anyone who’s a regular here watches any of the “Real Housewives of…
the precise reason that i love videogum so dearly is that gabe, bless his heart, really nuts up and goes for it. he *does* watch all of this awful horseshit. and takes the time and the effort to evaluate it (kind of) and then throws it back over the fence for us to chew to pieces. which is fun!! gabe is a mensch.
Boggle! I’m thinking – Matthew McConaghey with his shirt off is one of the dice, trying to find love, and hilarity ensues.
ok, you guys. you can bitch at me forever, but let’s be honest – this video is fucking awesome. i’m the opposite of sentimental when it comes to wedding stuff, but COME ON!!!
they made what is a traditional snore-fest of trite over-spending (i.e., weddings) into something fun, energetic and original.
we don’t have to like exactly how they pulled it off.
but, i submit to you, we do have to give them credit for making a wedding ceremony more interesting, engaging, and watchable than any other i can recall in recent memory.
points for originality.
get.
the.
fuck.
out.
of.
town.
that is one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen. usually i refrain from even using twitter, but i just spammed out all of my friends with the link to this video. i wish i could donate money to this video-creator, so they could make more LEGO stop-motion animation….
i love this movie already. it’s like “bill and ted’s excellent adventure” (which i love. so let the down-thumbing begin!!!) along with a really talented cast. granted, the cast seems so disparate in their approaches to comedy that it could end up being a really disappointing nightmare. but at least it’s not another movie with seth rogen & jonah hill, or ben stiller & vince vaughn, etc.
The Royal log10(enebaums)