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friedgold
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 +6Posted on Jun 15th, 2012 | re: Just A Good Speech About Marriage Equality From A Child (19 comments)

You can tell that Kameron is on the right of this issue because unlike all of the dum-dums who argue to the contrary, HE RESTED HIS CASE.

 0Posted on Sep 13th, 2011 | re: Let's All Enter This Bill Murray Poetry Contest (38 comments)

Bill Murray is the funniest actor, breeding
LOLs out of the dead dialogue, mixing
Hilarity and desire, stirring
Dull scripts with deadpan expression.
Zombieland kept us amused, covering
October in undead gore, feeding
A mediocre premise with incredible cameos.
Fantastic Mr. Fox surprised us, coming over the age barrier
With a flurry of intelligence; we paused at the puppeteering,
And went on in hope, into the second half,
And watched Michael Gambon, and laughed for an hour.
That’s just weak songwriting. You wrote a bad song, Petey!
And when we were children, watching the Ghostbusters,
My favourite, he took me out on an adventure,
And I was frightened. He said, Come on!
Let’s run some red lights! And through we went.
Into the paranormal, there you feel free.
I watch, much of the night, and go to Netflix and rent Rushmore in the winter.

 +7Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Now You, Too, Can Finally Smell Like Jared Leto (49 comments)

Your references are way too savvy for someone so young. Were you even alive when this show aired??

 +20Posted on May 19th, 2011 | re: You Can Make It Up: Kirk Cameron Prepares For The Rapture Like A Genius (55 comments)

Heaven and angels and the rapture not existing is not even the biggest reason I think this scenario is unlikely, and let me explain why. I genuinely* believe Stephen Hawking has found the secret to eternal life and will therefore never die. Consider: MND (Motor Neurone Disease) is typically fatal within 2–5 years. Hawking has lived for nearly 50 years with the disease, and will be 70 next year. Something something Occam’s Razor something something Captain Scarlet Indestructible. #caseclosed

*obviously not genuinely

Was Johnny Wishbone played by Betty Grable?

 +4Posted on May 3rd, 2011 | re: One Day Trailer, You Guys (61 comments)

All the upvotes to this guy, please.

Now, what does the powerful Winwood lobby think? Is she Pretty?

 +5Posted on May 2nd, 2011 | re: Osama Bin Laden Dead OR: Animated GIFs Of Animals Falling Asleep (100 comments)

After elevator and White House, sure.

 +13Posted on Apr 29th, 2011 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread: Goodbye, Michael Scott (119 comments)

Incidentally, I hope everyone got the fax about how ‘screms’ is how cool people write ‘screams’ now.

 +7Posted on Apr 29th, 2011 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread: Goodbye, Michael Scott (119 comments)

When I see Condi, my brain says ‘no’, but my heart screms ‘yes!’ #dilemmagum

 +10Posted on Apr 29th, 2011 | re: Jon Hamm Goes On A Road Trip With A Puppet (32 comments)

Please, be a grown-up and just say it. You know…

 +14Posted on Apr 29th, 2011 | re: Jon Hamm Goes On A Road Trip With A Puppet (32 comments)

I’m worried about Huckabeast, you guys.

 +4Posted on Apr 25th, 2011 | re: Roger Ebert Wins The New Yorker Cartoon Contest (16 comments)

Now I feel terrible. I’M SORRY, WINWOOD. Ebert brings out an irrational need to be protective in me.

 +5Posted on Apr 25th, 2011 | re: Roger Ebert Wins The New Yorker Cartoon Contest (16 comments)

Well, your criticism of Ebert is just as humourless as his criticism of Zoolander, but at least he had the excuse of 9/11 having just happened.

“You briefly lost your trademark wit and perception in the immediate aftermath of a national tragedy!”
- Steve Winwood
“And soon, I will go back to being smart and funny, but you will always be Steve Winwood.”
- Roger Ebert

 +6Posted on Apr 25th, 2011 | re: The Lonely Island Fake Movie Posters (17 comments)

Nothing can ever be better than Tracy Jordan’s “A Blaffair to Rememblack”

 +1Posted on Apr 18th, 2011 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow In The New Yorker (53 comments)

I think you’ll find they actually call it “The Lorry Lorryer”

 +1Posted on Mar 24th, 2011 | re: Heaven Just Got A Little More Elizabeth Taylor (64 comments)

BOTH. Does that mean I double-pass your test?

 +8Posted on Mar 23rd, 2011 | re: Heaven Just Got A Little More Elizabeth Taylor (64 comments)

…And I guess, now it isn’t. :(

 +31Posted on Mar 23rd, 2011 | re: Heaven Just Got A Little More Elizabeth Taylor (64 comments)

Having this much hotness on screen at one time should not be allowed.

 +7Posted on Mar 21st, 2011 | re: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold Trailer, You Guys (59 comments)

I WISH that were the last time we’re going to catch a sight of these [people].

 +50Posted on Mar 4th, 2011 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (91 comments)

There are no apostrophes in them?

 +6Posted on Feb 24th, 2011 | re: The Hangover: Part II Teaser Trailer, You Guys (34 comments)

This is a real #nerdgum comment, but that there is some cheap-as-shit typography. What are they using, Impact Bold???

 +35Posted on Feb 23rd, 2011 | re: Oscar GIFs (55 comments)

 +1Posted on Jan 14th, 2011 | re: Pac-ManTo Be A Reality TV Show, Of Course (31 comments)

“They’re not booing you! They’re saying boo-ac man!”

 +2Posted on Jan 4th, 2011 | re: This Homeless Man Barely Even Sounds Homeless If You Can Believe It (72 comments)

Damn, I meant to reply to Hotspur’s comment. Now I have created the exact opposite impression to the one I intended.

 +7Posted on Jan 4th, 2011 | re: This Homeless Man Barely Even Sounds Homeless If You Can Believe It (72 comments)

I signed in partly because this is such a thoughtful, great comment, but also because i know exactly what you mean about awkward rich guilt. Athough ‘rich’ is probably over-shooting it. Just ‘not-homeless guilt’, really. There’s a guy i walk past most days who doesn’t harass people for money, doesn’t have a sign with heart-breaking grammar sharpie’d onto cardboard, just sits up against a bus shelter trying to keep out of the weather, and i usually just empty my pockets of change into his starbucks cup. Then a couple of d-bags I know saw him one day talking on a cell phone and they were all, “omg! that guy is totally scamming us all! he has a phone, he must be a millionaire!” And I mean, that guy could theoretically have more property than John McCain, but he’s still leaning against a bus shelter begging for change all day, and that means his life is pretty hard and my sympathy is probably not super-misplaced, iPhone or no. I just don’t get why some people are so cynical about the exact misfortunes of others sometimes.