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Joseph Edwin Haeger
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I really love Zeitoun. Even though it seems like kind of a strange book to “love” since it’s all so horrifying.
John Krasinski surprised me when he wrote and directed Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. That was the moment I really started liking him for more than his boyish good looks.
Yo, Mr. White, you gotta help me out here man. There’s a blu-ray giveaway and I, like, need it.
I would have to as for a more specified area of world-ending. If it was a zombie apocalypse, I would want a friend with many survival skills and patience. If it was a meteor headed towards earth I would want someone with just patience. Enough to the point of them not leaving me by the side of the road by myself (I’m not sure why we’re on a road trip, I would spend my last three weeks finally trying to read Infinite Jest and just getting mad.)
“That’s a bad song, Petey. You wrote a bad song!”
“I am the walrus. I am the walrus.”
My life without Bored to Death Season 2 will bore me to death.
I would respectively listen to my Yanni cassette tapes while I speed walk during the last days of summer.
I’m not like Louie, because I see live boobies.
“I Choo-choo-choose you!”
and then my name would be scrawled in a dark red crayon. You’d feel bad for me because I don’t have a lot of friends, and am often found with bloody noses because I stick my finger up there too frequently. So you’ll smile and accept, only to have me invite you to Krusty the Klown’s live show! I’d spill some chocolate ice cream on your pretty dress and you’d yell at me and tell me what I loser I am.
Don’t worry, we make up later.
I love you, Videogum…
Oh! Illegally? I would suck off dogs for men’s visual pleasure. Whoops!
I would punch my time card everyday at my scheduled time. If I went over and dreadfully went into overtime I would apologize profusely to my boss. If he even tried to offer me a raise I’d say, “No, no, sir. I don’t deserve it, I’m dying anyway. Would you like ranch with your tots?”
The Thing – cool looking movie, but what was with that end shot where it looked like a video game promo? I actually had to rewind it to make sure Ashton Kutcher (that’s how you spell his name, right?) didn’t just punk’d me.
John Carter – Jesus Christ! Not saying that in vain, I mean, JC-JC. This baby is going to be heavy of the Christ symbolism.
Contagion – Outbreak ruined my brain when I was little. Time to ruin it when I’m an adult.
Hugo – Marty’s back? Yay?
Abra-ca-make-me-Ryan-Gosling.
Then people would call me LLCoolRG.
Mick Jones of Foreigner. Because I like hot drinks! (tom-tom-cymbal crash)
Magnolia.
But every time I say that I get a little embarrassed because of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Then I remember that PTA is so much better than Kevin Smith.