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Gabriel Ruzin
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 +15Posted on Aug 23rd, 2012 | re: Videogum Now Accepting Submissions And Other Notes On The Future Of Videogum (170 comments)

Thoughts/ideas/feelings, eh? Sweet. Ok, I’ve got one of those.

As a fellow Gabe, I feel that Gabe and I have a special bond that makes it easier for me to bring up delicate subjects, such as asking him to PLEASE WRITE SHORTER DAMN PARAGRAPHS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

 +5Posted on Jun 15th, 2012 | re: Friday Giveaway: Moonrise Kingdom Prize Package (143 comments)

“That’s the last time you put a knife in me! You hear me?!”

“Nice marmot.”

 +2Posted on Feb 25th, 2011 | re: Two And A Half Men Leaked Finale (40 comments)

Wow, that’s the only time I’ve laughed at anything ’2 1/2 Men’ related.

Also, it appears that Charlie’s true form is sans legs (?) … Looks like he killed two birds with one stone by coming to Earth, since we was able to fit on a couple hollow fake legs to use as handy-dandy coke carrying cases. I DEMAND THEY CUT CHARLIE SHEEN’S LEGS OPEN TO CHECK THIS THEORY!

Caps-Lock-gum…

 +27Posted on Nov 18th, 2010 | re: BREAKING NEWS: HEAVEN DEFINITELY EXISTS! (190 comments)

This is totally “news” that belongs on a “news” network, amirite?

 +5Posted on Nov 9th, 2010 | re: The First Episode Of Conan: A Review (99 comments)

Is anyone else surprised that Conan stuck with the ‘ex talk show host’ beard-o look? Not to see that he looks terrible, but he was looking a little ginger hobo/Harry Knowles out there. That being said, he affirmed my existence as a consumer and human being last night, so stop bothering me about stupid things like beards! Geez….

 +3Posted on Aug 11th, 2010 | re: Ben Quayle Would Like To Represent Arizona's Snoreth District (79 comments)

What Republicans say: “What happened to America?”

What Republicans mean: “What possessed so many of you to vote for a dirty Negro?”

There ya go. FTFY.

“So this is the third movie where we’re supposed to still be pointlessly shooting at these huge extraterrestrial robots even though we’ve never accomplished anything whatsoever by doing so?”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds good. Where’s my paycheck wrangler?”

 +5Posted on Jul 20th, 2010 | re: M. Night Shyamalan Stinks Round-Up (69 comments)

Terrivil?

Yeah, Terrivil.

 +1Posted on Jul 19th, 2010 | re: The 11th Annual Gathering Of The Juggalos 17 Minute-Long Infomercial (132 comments)

The harpoons. Man them.