It’s amazing what rich people who arbitrarily have American relatives who arbitrarily live in arbitrated Germany arbitrarily can do arbitrarily when they put their minds to arbitrary things.

Also this shit moving.

Boy is he gonna have a hangover when he wakes up in the morning, because he’d been drinking the night before and he also didn’t drunk any water or eat anything so he’ll really have a hangover in the morning and forget he started dating a madame tussaud wax figure of a porn star and then boy will he have egg and mike tyson tattoos on his face!

Whaaaaaaaat?! Girls can’t be doctors.

Paul bitches about his privileged life and then we bring in the girls.

I know someone who is PERFECT. They’re funny, they know the voice of the site and they have a lot of experience in the field.

I wave.

I like him too. He’s a good actor acting in acting things. BUT HE DOES SO MANY PALTROWY THINGS. 12 hour cut of My Own Private Idaho? Pictures of Bruce Vilanch sleeping? And if he’s such a good actor (he is, he is such a good actor) then why couldn’t he act like he liked Anne Hathaway? She was dying up there! She just wants all of our love! She just wants daddy to like her! She wants Daddy Douglas to love her and love her hard. She wants you to Love her and Other Drugs. But Franco (not the soap character he plays, “Franco,” the real one that smiles and brings sexy back and gets stuck under things while falling asleep in class and making an art show out of it) couldn’t muster an ounce of “I give a shit.” I know he shouldn’t have to, why would anyone give a shit? But the thing is HE SIGNED UP FOR IT! You know? He was like “Oscars? I’ll be right there!” You know? So he may not be the worst, but he’s definitely worst-ish.

That’s just a fine piece of American young man right there.

Best Picture: The Social Network

Best Actor: Colin Firth–The King’s Speech

Best Actress: Natalie Portman–Black Swan

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale–The Fighter

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo–The Fighter

Best Director: David Fincher–The Social Network

Best Original Screenplay: The King’s Speech

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network

Best Foreign Film: In a Better World (Denmark)

Best Animated Film: Toy Story 3

Art Direction: Dyas (Production Design); Larry Dias and Doug Mowat (Set Decoration)-Inception

Cinematography: Matthew Libatique-Black Swan

Costume Design: Antonella Cannarozzi-I Am Love

Documentary Feature: Restrepo

Film Editing: Andrew Weisblum-Black Swan

Sound Editing: Richard King-Inception

Sound Mixing: Lora Hirschberg, Gary A. Rizzo and Ed Novick-Inception

Visual Effects: Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb-Inception