By the end of last season’s recaps (I do not watch this show, for so many reasons), I thought I had a little bit of a handle of what was going on (maybe 20% understanding?).
But even a couple episode recaps in, I have no idea at all what’s going on anymore. Even ignoring the raping panther people and the witches and the fairies (ha!), I’m so confused. Aren’t the fairy and Vampire Bill supposed to be in luv 4evah4realz? Why is he sleeping with his relatives? I can’t even remember who Vampire Eric is. Why is she in his house? Or vice versa?

I think I need to go lie down.

or rather: I would cast a spell that would magically make my bathroom sink and shower work properly, and I would cast it today, because it is a holiday and I will never be able to find an affordable plumber and I am so screwed and I actually really wish I had that spell right now.

I guess I can’t wash my hair AND I’m disqualified