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Dolf
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 +14Posted on Dec 11th, 2009 | re: Jersey Shore S01E02: I See Drama. I See Drama. (46 comments)

I read “(sic)” as “SICK!” and that sentence was perfect.

 +7Posted on Nov 20th, 2009 | re: Uh Oh, My Ninjas, Dad Discovered Horrorcore (46 comments)

Dude really rolls hard in his aeropostale hoodie. Jug lyfe! (Is that a thing they say? I feel like that’s a thing they say.)

 +1Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 | re: Gossip Girl: It's Not A Real Soap Opera Until Someone Gets Amnesia (26 comments)

Is that what the kids do after graduation now? Read books about 30-somethings learning to find themselves through pasta? I went to Myrtle Beach and got inappropriately drunk on Milwaukee’s Best for a week straight.

 0Posted on Jun 2nd, 2009 | re: I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here: Praying With Spencer Pratt (31 comments)

As I understand it, the only reason Heidi and Spencer came back after leaving 3 times was because Damien Fahey was holding Heidi’s plastic nose hostage. Seriously though, where did that thing go?

 +8Posted on May 19th, 2009 | re: Gossip Girl: Season Finale (20 comments)

Those expressions! Those cans! Dan + Serena = 4ever

 +9Posted on May 11th, 2009 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Star Trek (98 comments)

Although I’m not going to say it’s this year’s Dark Knight, it had the same effect – it took characters we’re all slightly familiar with and made it totally acceptable for normal people to geek out about them. Which is exactly what I’ve been doing all morning around the watercooler.

 +9Posted on May 11th, 2009 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Star Trek (98 comments)

There is more than one kind of J.J. Abrams time travel. Because Felicity had to go visit that weirdo with all the witchcraft books so she could go to Stanford for the summer and be near Ben. Duh.

 +19Posted on Apr 21st, 2009 | re: Gossip Girl: The Jews Escaped Egypt For This? (12 comments)

“Cater waiter at a seder” is probably the most pleasant thing to ever come out of Dan Humphrey’s mouth. He probably came up with that all on his own, because of how he’s such a great writer.

 +4Posted on Apr 20th, 2009 | re: Oh No, People Are Having Sex In Taco Bell Bathrooms! (41 comments)

Yeah, I know. I always get terrible service at Taco Bell. Wouldn’t want those kids to get the wrong idea about fast food.

 -1Posted on Apr 19th, 2009 | re: You Guys, We Should Buy More TVs (21 comments)

Are you sure you aren’t just watching Discovery after midnight when it’s all infomercials?

 +3Posted on Apr 10th, 2009 | re: The "Your Business Card Is Crap" Guy Teaches Us How To Pack (51 comments)

omg, I have a neoprene laptop case. I’m halfway to success!

 +30Posted on Apr 9th, 2009 | re: Kanye West Is A Gay Fish (31 comments)

THIS IS SOME SERIOUS FINDING NEMO SHIT.

 +2Posted on Apr 8th, 2009 | re: "Zac Efron's Pool Party" Tries So Hard It Hurts (19 comments)

On the bright side, I like that Funny or Die has become an impromptu (or On Demand, or whatevs) sketch comedy show. At least now I don’t have to wait until Saturday nights to be disappointed by the comedian-on-actor sketches. (Plus, you know…some of the Funny or Die videos are actually good)

 +23Posted on Apr 8th, 2009 | re: A Rainbow Coalition Of Terrible Actors (27 comments)

We, the viewers, Double Dog Dare you, the bloggers, to record your own NOM audition tapes. Lindsay would make a great California Doctor.

 +15Posted on Apr 7th, 2009 | re: Someone Please Tell Eminem It's 2009 (73 comments)

He got all his Star Treks confused. ugh.

 +4Posted on Apr 6th, 2009 | re: Ron Weasley Doing Mad Cocaine, Son (20 comments)

But why are there lemons in the pool??

 +4Posted on Apr 6th, 2009 | re: Feeling Untidy Down There? "Mow The Lawn!" (18 comments)

It was “tulips on the mound” at :35 that really got me.

 +2Posted on Mar 29th, 2009 | re: Hopefully More Slap Than Chop (24 comments)

Guess I’m gonna have to change the ol’ avatar then.

 +5Posted on Mar 25th, 2009 | re: Where The Wild Things Are Looks Like Where The Great Things Are! (87 comments)

I actually wish Catherine Keener was my mom too.

 +1Posted on Mar 25th, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Audrina Patridge Loves Cocaine (13 comments)

The actual article is absolutely batshit insane. Definitely worth the read. I got coffee on my monitor.

 0Posted on Mar 18th, 2009 | re: Only Suckers Will Miss Friday's NYC Screening Of The Room (20 comments)

I just found out about the SF screening. We’ve got 1 month to call the screenprinters.

 +2Posted on Mar 18th, 2009 | re: The Daily Show Mocks Glenn Beck, Who Is Crazy (10 comments)

Someone should tell Glenn that yelling at the cameras only works for Howard Beale.

 +1Posted on Mar 18th, 2009 | re: Does Anyone Remember The Power Team? (17 comments)

These guys actually came to my high school (high school!) and tore phone books. I’m still not sure how they got permission to proselytize in a public school though.

 0Posted on Mar 17th, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Not Everyone Is On Twitter (8 comments)

Gabe, you left yourself off! Oops!

 +8Posted on Mar 13th, 2009 | re: The New Star Trek Movie Is A Total San Francisco FAIL! (19 comments)

He should have pointed out the real elephant in the room. Oakland will obviously be a Klingon enclave in 300 years.