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 +27Posted on Nov 21st, 2011 | re: Arnold Schwarzenegger Should Record All The DVD Commentary Tracks (38 comments)

In this comment, I have decided that I felt like replying to R2D2′s post. Then there will be no more dictatorship…and all that.

 +4Posted on Nov 18th, 2011 | re: Finally, Rampage: The Movie (36 comments)

Sorry, Rickard. And sorry, used the wrong account. I’ll see myself out.

 +3Posted on Sep 6th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (22 comments)

What’s gonna happen to Joan’s husband?

“VIET-GODDAMN-NAM’s what’s gonna happen! Go get me a beer, bitch!”
–Charlie Kelly

 +3Posted on Sep 2nd, 2011 | re: Going To The Store (26 comments)

At first I was like “Huh?”

Then I read that this was made for an episode of the internet series “Everything” and I was like “A-ha!”

 0Posted on Sep 2nd, 2011 | re: New Dialogue That Was NOT Added To The Star Wars Blu Ray (125 comments)

C3PO, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

 +5Posted on Sep 2nd, 2011 | re: Coffee Advertising From The '50s Has A Common Theme (31 comments)

Pretty sure I still get one customer a day who says something like this at the coffee shop I work at. But it usually goes something like this “Hey, this coffee tastes awful. Oh wait, you’re a man. Could you get me the woman employee who made this coffee? Thanks.”

 +3Posted on Jun 28th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Spread (77 comments)

Did the director watch “The Departed” and think, “Man, it would’ve been so much better if the rat that ran across the window at the end got eaten by a frog!”

 +4Posted on Jun 28th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Spread (77 comments)

Milk: It does a body EVIL.

 +1Posted on Jun 28th, 2011 | re: Steven Spielberg's Lincoln Cast Looks Pretty Good! (27 comments)

For those keeping track, the current Lincoln cast to beat is Sarah Vowell’s from her audiobook.

Conan O’Brien as Robert Todd Lincoln
Eric Bogosian as John Wilkes Booth
Stephen King as Abraham Lincoln

 +16Posted on Aug 11th, 2010 | re: Ben Quayle Would Like To Represent Arizona's Snoreth District (79 comments)

“Drug cartels in Mexico, tax cartels in DC. What’s happened to America?”

No offense, but I’m pretty sure 50% of those things aren’t happening in America.

 +12Posted on Aug 11th, 2010 | re: That's Your 11-Year-Old Film Critic: Jackson (64 comments)

I watched for three seconds before I was like “DONE.”

We should all follow St. Vincent’s example and look away.

 +2Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: The Most Surprising Thing About This Video Might Surprise You (68 comments)

Give this link a try:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkvcBeGiFnY

 +6Posted on May 13th, 2010 | re: The Most Surprising Thing About This Video Might Surprise You (68 comments)

Jerking off onto model trains, stomping around like a monster until 4 AM (but don’t break anything), and all the imitation crabmeat you could ask for? What more do you need?!

It’s like a Bollywood romantic comedy, but without the musical numbers and attractive women.

 +4Posted on Apr 8th, 2010 | re: Operation Watch This: Pixels (22 comments)

I think what I liked most about the story was that, because the ATHF movie cost so little to make, the opening box office take covered the cost of the film, the fine they were charged by the city of Boston, and they had a little bit left over!

 +7Posted on Apr 7th, 2010 | re: Holy Shit, The Insane Clown Posse "Miracles" Video Is CRAMAZING (201 comments)

Now, ICP should just cover They Might Be Giants science album.

“C’mon, c’mon, meet the motherfuckin’ elements!”

 +63Posted on Apr 7th, 2010 | re: Holy Shit, The Insane Clown Posse "Miracles" Video Is CRAMAZING (201 comments)

If it’s a Leno joke, it’s a miracle I laughed at it.

 +13Posted on Mar 26th, 2010 | re: Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2: Marmaduke (54 comments)

Now we know what happens when the Coen brothers stop returning your calls.

What if Jack Hughman is in a parallel universe, and his career tanked because he decided to run offstage and use the bathroom?

I helped program a film festival last year, and we got a screener of this film. I couldn’t make it past the opening credits.

I read an interview where David Fincher was asked why the movie didn’t end that way, and his answer was quite literally “I ran out of money.”

 +3Posted on Mar 15th, 2010 | re: Being White Is Hard: Please Give (39 comments)

Sorry, I saw Sarah Vowell in the trailer and forgot what we were talking about.

 -1Posted on Mar 11th, 2010 | re: Martin Bashir + The Insane Clown Posse = Amazing KABOOM (60 comments)

“And I will never kiss anyone…
…that doesn’t burn me like a motherfucker.”

 +14Posted on Mar 11th, 2010 | re: Teen Korner: TWILIGHT: ECLIPSE TRAILER IN YOUR PANTSSSSSSSSSSSSS (53 comments)

In the Remember Me FAQs, the answer to “Why is Robert Pattinson listed as an executive producer?” is a total win:

“This production credit enabled him to prevent the movie from being put out as some cheesy love story. By having him on as EP, if it started to look like that was going to happen (which it didn’t), he could use his clout as EP to redirect the focus more onto what it is. In the end, he really didn’t do a whole lot, but what it accomplished was very significant for everyone who wanted this movie to fulfill its potential.”

PHEW! For a minute there I was worried “Remember Me” was going to be some cheesy love story, but it totally isn’t ’cause Robert Pattinson’s clout said so.